|Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness
Author: The Cheerio PM
ON HOLD/ Kendrenae Johnson is just a girl with a tiny cheese obsession, who wants only to live her life. She's has no romantic experience whatsoever and she's definiatly not going to change that. That is...until the cheese murderer wants to be her princeRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 46,310 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 05-02-08 - Published: 04-16-07 - id: 2347781
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
As soon as Kendrenae Johnson heard the ridiculously loud beep emitting from her small black digital clock, she did what any self-respecting person would do.
Swiftly grabbing the contraption, she swiped the batteries out of it and lobbed them somewhere in the depths of her room in a random place she knew for sure she wouldn't be able to locate later. Tiredly laying her black haired head back in her soft and warm sheets. Kendrenae, more commonly known as Kendra, drifted back to the land of mutant sheep and giant feathers.
Exactly five point one seconds later: KENDRENAE J. JOHNSON GET. UP. NOW! Kendra's eyes snapped open. "Darn banshee woman." She growled.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" a voice Kendra knew all to well growled from downstairs.
She stared at the ceiling and gawked. "How does she do that?" Kendra mumbled, awed.
'Maybe she was being experimented on by a pack of evilly intelligent squirrels, but somehow managed to escape the biogenetic lab normal except for her amazing sense of hearing! That would explain many many things!' she narrowed her eyes in a suspicious manner.
Purposely forgetting her mother's inhuman hearing, excruciatingly slow, Kendra dragged her five-five black and white plaid PJ clad form towards her connected bathroom.
Ten minutes later, Kendra exited her bathroom still half-asleep in only a towel. Looking at her closet all the way across her room, she moved her damp foot forward.
That as far as she got before making an impressive face plant on her clothes covered bedroom floor.
"OW!" she loudly whined. Peering to her side she glared at the guilty looking basketball … well as guilty as an inanimate object can look.
Five minutes later, she inspected herself in front of her bathroom mirror. Glancing at her arm Kendra made sure her skin the same chocolate brown color it had been since birth. The reason for this was, ever since she had a dream as a five year-old after watching a coca cola commercial, about turning into a polar bear, every morning she checked herself to make sure she had no weird patches of bear hair on her body. She smiled and winked at herself.
Her untamable, even with a perm, coal black hair was in a messy bun with a side bang covering her right eye. She swiftly brushed it away. Not the type of girl to actually mess with makeup, Kendra didn't wear any. Wearing a simple, loose, brown t-shirt, oversized navy blue sweatpants, with a purple STRENGTH rubber wristband and yellow and blue-checkered vans. Kendra smiled once again. 'Looking goooooooood.' She thought to herself, but then she looked at the reflection of her dark brown eyes. 'Rawr.' Everyone has a least one thing they don't like about themselves, and Kendra's happened to be, not liking the color of her eyes. To her they were just so…. dull and ordinary. She sighed. 'There's no way in heck I'm using color contacts. That's just…" she shivered in terror.
Entering once again entering into her room, this time careful of evil inanimate objects out to get her, she was half way out the door before she remembered her glasses. Turning back around she grabbed her square, black wired glasses and slipped them on her face, framing her impossibly dark brown eyes. Suddenly, grumpiness over took her mood. She had completely forgotten the whole reason for getting up that morning. 'Another Monday at school. Huzzah.' she drawled sarcastically in her head, while lazily punching a fist into the air.
Not wanting to think about her "strong dislike" for the institution of education, Kendra headed to the stairs.
"TO THE KITCHEN!" she yelled.
Kendra grinned virtually feeling her mother and brother roll their eyes. Marcus, Kendra's twin brother, and their mother promptly did so. Doing a weird little jig towards the kitchen, Kendra grinned at her giant of a brother sloppily eating cereal. "Howdy! " she shouted in a horribly imitated cowboy accent.
"Your such a loser." Marcus grumbled.
"Proud of it partner." Kendra countered, still in her terrible excuse for a southern accent.
Standing solidly at six-ten Marcus looked pretty intimidating as the tallest guy around. Obviously if your that tall you'd be expected to play basketball, and that's exactly what he did. Supposedly, girls called him the hottest guy (fitting the tall, dark and handsome spot) and "so sensitive" and basically swooned at his feet Kendra would have, in fact she has many times, snorted at that. Frankly, in her opinion he was as sensitive as a wild boar with rabies on crack. Marcus being well known in school was a humonginormous understatement. He was practically a celebrity.
Kendra couldn't help but feel a little robbed of her identity, as she wasn't known as anything but Marcus's little sister or her favorite - the weird chick.
Mrs. Johnson stood in front of the oven taking out freshly baked biscuits still in her nurse scrubs. Mrs. Sherrie I. Johnson was a nurse. A darn nab good one too. "Morning Honey." Mrs. Johnson cheerfully chirped.
"Mornin' Mommsie Dearest!" Mrs. Johnson's delicate ebony eyebrow rose.
" I thought you were going to stick with the Chinese accent." Mrs. Johnson smiled. Kendra grinned sheepishly. Mrs. Johnson rolled her eyes. "Your insane."
" Love you too Mother." Kendra replied.
Taking two hot biscuits, Kendra grabbed her dark blue backpack and headed towards the door. "Bye Peeps!" Kendra called to her family. Walking out the door, Kendra observed the scenery; clear blue sky and shinning sun should have been a clue.
Trudging past Marcus's Ford and her mother's Odyssey Kendra started her fifteen-minute journey to Winston High. Ten minutes later about halfway to school, Kendra knew she should have suspected something bad from the millisecond she saw the sun.
Lots and lots of rain.
Kendra being human, frantically sprinted for shelter against the heavy pelts of H2O. Water bullets beating on her back, as well as on her glasses, and feet pounding on the sidewalk, Kendra could see nothing through the gray screen in front of her. Suddenly, she couldn't feel the solid pavement beneath her vans.
This time mud.
Enormous amounts of mud.
Letting out a small cry of surprise and closing her eyes in alarm her butt smacked the ground, feeling mud on her, in her hair, around her, and very much in her pants. "WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DIG A FREAKIN' WHOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANG SIDEWALK?!" Kendra screamed. Growling obscenities that the author would rather not type, she gradually stood on her two feet. Wiping as much muck off of her glasses and shifting her backpack to a more comfortable position, she looked for a way out. The edge of the hole reached her shoulders. Easy to get out right?
Kendra gripped the edge with her hands and tried to haul herself out of the mud pit using her legs, rain still very much beating her down. This became incredibly difficult seeing as she was in a very semi-liquid filled pit. After what seemed like the millionth attempt, Kendra happened to force enough power into her legs to heave her body out of the pit of death.
Heavily breathing from the exertion of energy so dang early in the day Kendra looked up to the sky to see that the rain had stopped, and she hadn't even noticed.
She continued to stare in disbelief for a whole minute. Kendra's right eye twitched, then she snapped. Very much like a twig.
"WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? DO YOU LIKE SEEING ME IN TOTAL HUMILIATION?" Kendra quite forcefully bellowed to the sky.
"You know, yelling at birds won't help much." a smooth, deep and clearly amused voice commented behind her.
More infuriated someone would dare kick and rub salty macaroni in her wounded pride; Kendra ground her teeth and spun around, eyes flashing dangerously.
What she saw did not improve her mood. A tall (around six-seven) white boy (man meat) with the greenest eyes she had ever been alive to see. The boy had a definitely athletic body, the messiest dark brown hair that looked strangely good on him, black and white vans, slightly baggy jeans and a black basketball sweatshirt. By any girl's standard's he'd be considered Mr. Hottie Mc Hotthott.
"What a POOP HEAD!" Was just one of the thoughts that cancelled out his hotness. Taking notice of Kendra's dangerous glare the boy put his hands up as if to surrender.
"Whoa cool down Kitty, didn't mean to make you mad." He said with a grin on his ugly (cough cough) cute face.
Kendra was livid. "Your Face!" she bit out.
"I know, its sexy isn't it?" he replied cockily.
She resisted the powerful urge to rip his deformed (gorgeous) face into a million pieces.
Ignoring him and spinning on her heel heatedly, she brought a hand up and looked at her watch she kept in her side pocket.
Class started in five minutes. Kendra cursed. She shoved her watch into her backpack and bolted down the sidewalk as all thoughts of the boy evaporated.
Lungs burning, Kendra burst through the double doors "Twenty seconds left!" she counted down in her head. Not a soul wandered in the hallways. Bad sign. Sharply turning the corner down the hallway 'Ten seconds!" Down the hallway the door in the middle glowed, the hallelujah chorus singing. ' BINGO.' Chest heaving up and down, she ran with all she had. " How long is this hallway anyway?! Five seconds!!' Unexpectedly, her feet could no longer grip the floor. Falling devastatingly on the floor, her back slammed roughly into the ground. Kendra gasped at the unexpected pain that shot through her body like fire. Her whole body, at an alarming speed, slid right past the door leaving a neat mud line in the hallway, her eye catching only a glimpse of a yellow triangle: wet floor.
" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Kendra yelled in desperation. She closed her eyes in anticipation of her stopping impact.
BAM! Kendra crashed right into the row of lockers intensifying the pain in her back. BRINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!! 'Crapping fudge knockers.'
As fast as possible she scrambled to her feet, realizing she was late and clutched her ribs hoping to suppress the ache of her lungs. Kendra jogged to class.
'Biology.' she said distastefully in her thoughts. Not that she had a problem with the subject; in fact she was acing the class. It was the teacher she had a problem with.
Still holding her side Kendra wretched open the door, only to be met with the stare of a short pudgy old man that stank with evilness.
Kendra did not have good history with the teacher. Apparently, she was the cause of all pain and misery the little man had ever faced.
His plump beady-eyed face glared at her. A grin appeared on her face, mischievousness dancing in her eyes.
Looking him in the eye she calmly said, "Miss me?"
Completely forgetting about the presence of fellow classmates Kendra was startled to hear chortles of laughter from a majority of the class. Setting her attention on them was a mistake.
Mount Peloski promptly erupted.
"HOW DARE YOU BARGE INTO THIS CLASSROOM AND DISRUPT THIS CLASS!"
Kendra opened her mouth to interrupt.
"DON'T WANT ANY EXCUSE! A WEEK OF DETENTION!" He was a very nice shade of magenta, or maybe it was puce?
Kendra gaped like a… gapper.
"But-" Kendra argued.
"But nothing! Take a seat Miss. Johnson." He interrupted.
Begrudgingly, she took a seat in the middle back row.
"Girl, why in the name of all that is good are you covered in mud?" a Mexican girl by the name of Stella whispered from the seat to the right. Stella was, summed up in one word, gorgeous. Long dark hair, cinnamon eyes, and curvaceous body and the biggest heart of gold ever, you can guess she went out with a lot of the male species.
Kendra whispered one sentence back. "Mud pit from the depths of hell."
Stella rolled her eyes not believing it for a second.
Kendra saw it.
Kendra faked a hurt face, " What you don' t believe me?! I'm serious here! Well. I never." she whispered.
"Will you two shut it!" a blonde blue-eyed girl called Kelly hissed. Even sitting down you could tell she was tall. Kelly was a slim, stunning, make-up wearing girly girl. Apart of the popular group one might say. What set her apart from the other blonde bimbos in the school was one: she didn't dress like a hooker and sleep around. Two: she was actually serious academics wise.
Oh so maturely Kendra stuck her tongue out at Kelly. Kelly sighed in a 'What am I going to do with you' type way. Kendra grinned and glanced at the board; surprised that Peloski hadn't caught them yet. Kendra smiled happily and actually listened to the lesson for once.
Kendra eerily stared at the clock. 'Five minutes. Come ON! Obviously, I'm a bit tired of feeling like a toasted booger monster. ' The mud was now starting to dry, and Kendra started to fidget for there was still a large amount of mud in her sweatpants, as you readers can imagine, not very pleasant. Now humming Fergalicious to make time at least seem it was going faster, through peripheral vision Kendra saw Stella's eye twitch. Kendra snickered. Stella loathed Fergie with a passion. She definitely knew it, thus the whole point of humming the song. Kendra unexpectedly stopped. The door had rudely swung open.
A boy with electrifyingly green eyes with a wide grin strode in.
Thanks a bunch!