Chapter Fifteen – Damage Control

Seth was still rambling on, but I didn’t comprehend a word he was saying. Mr. Bloomgard was still jotting problems all over the board, but my pencil did not move from its position in the center of my notebook.

A dance? Really? On St. Patty’s Day? Was that entirely necessary?

Maybe I wasn’t internalizing what Seth was saying, but his tone was undeniable: he was extremely, inexplicably, and overly excited. My opinion of the word “dance” boiled down to run away as quickly as possible as far as possible in the exact opposite direction.

I turned around and mimicked cutting off my own head, my hand passing along my throat. “Stop, Seth. You’re babbling.” Maybe my tone was a little harsh, but he was frustrating me. His eyes widened as I flipped back around to face the board.

I told myself to focus on the calculus and stay out of panic mode. I would just have to avoid the dance at any cost. As soon as the bell rang, I turned back to Seth.

“No dance talk, okay?”

He stared blankly back at me. “Why not? I mean, I know you don’t like them, but could it really be that bad?” He started to push out his lower lip in a pout; I placed my fingers over his mouth.

“Not right now. Let me think about it.” Which actually meant let me think of the most plausible and convincing excuse I could use to get out of setting a foot into our gym for a dance. The gym had enough bad memories tied to it as it was – P.E. never was my strong point.

Seth nodded, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back asking me to go with him for long. I gathered my books and made my way to my locker, Seth right behind me.

“See you in chem,” he said as I leaned over to unclick my lock. His hand brushed one of my own, and then he was on his way.

I stared at his retreating back because I just couldn’t seem to help myself.

ooOoo

Chemistry was nothing out of the ordinary. We took pages and pages of notes on intermolecular forces. I thought my head would explode if I tried to convince it to understand one more abstract concept. It didn’t help that Seth kept nudging my knee with his and brushing his fingers across the back of my hand. He didn’t mention the dance again, but that didn’t stop the rest of the population from talking about it. It wasn’t just the girls; the guys seemed genuinely excited, too.

I was the odd one out, apparently.

I headed straight to English - I had all but memorized Romeo and Juliet anyways – and Seth followed me, entwining our free hands together.

“You’re quiet.” He didn’t look at me, but kept his gaze on the mass of teenagers in front of us.

“And?”

He shrugged. “I just hope it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t mean to upset you with the dance...” He pulled me over to a water-fountain. “We don’t have to go. Well, I guess since we aren’t dating or whatever the right thing to say would be that you don’t have to go with me. But if you don’t go, I’m not going to go either. There’d be no point.” His deep blue eyes stared intently at mine.

I looked away. “I just don’t want to talk about it. I hate dances-" He pulled his hand from my own and placed it under my chin, forcing me to look at his face. I still didn’t meet his eyes.

“Kate.” He lifted my face; my eyes made contact with his. “We don’t have to go. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to bring it up. I’ll give you more space, okay?” He dropped his hand and started to step back.

My mind was racing through all the possibilities. I could pull him back and say I’d go to the dance, but I didn’t know if I wanted that. I could just let him, or rather make him, walk away. The thought of that pained me, even though I knew he wouldn’t go forever unless he knew one-hundred percent I wanted him to go. But I realized in that moment that “space” was the last thing I wanted.

The bell rang shrilly as Seth moved away. My hand shot out and caught onto his forearm.

“Wait.” I took a deep breath. “I’m not upset, just overwhelmed. But know that space is definitely not what I want - or need – right now.” I stared up at him as his expression relaxed. He grinned.

“In that case...” He pulled me closer and placed his lips gently on my forehead. “Let’s go to English.”

ooOoo

We separated at the door because there was only one seat by Michelle, and I was definitely taking it. Seth sat in the back with a bunch of his friends. I slipped into the desk and laughed under my breath: Michelle was visibly trembling with excitement. I knew she wanted to discuss that dance, and I didn’t have a problem with it as long as we didn’t focus on the dance as it pertained to me.

Shell opened her mouth to let out the overflow of words, but the teacher chose that moment to announce that we’d be in small discussion groups today, two to four people to each group. I glanced back at Seth’s eager face, and shook my head. Shell needed to get the dance stuff out of her system before she spontaneously combusted.

As soon as the rest of the class was loudly chattering, not even attempting to hide their discussion of all topics excluding Romeo and Juliet, Michelle let out a shriek of joy.

“A dance!! Can you believe it? I’m so excited! Are you going with Seth? When are we getting our dresses? Do you think they have to be green? Wanna get our nails done? Ooh!! Can I do your hair?? You know, you have to wear eyelin-” Her torrent was rudely interrupted by my hand before the word ‘eyeliner’ fully emerged from her lips. I shuddered mentally at the thought of bringing one of those pointy objects anywhere near my face.

“Breathe, Shell.” I pulled my hand away as she nodded. “And I draw the line at eyeliner. No pun intended.”

She glared at me. “Fine; I’ll just use lots of eyeshadow.”

“Who says I’m even going?” I knew before I said it that it was the wrong question to ask. Shell’s eyes grew wide, and I could tell she was about to unleash. “That was rhetorical, number one. And number two, I don’t want to talk about me and the dance.” A frown emerged on her face. “You and Michael and the dance is fine, however.” I was amazed at how quickly the dismal look on her face transformed into one of excited anticipation.

“Ooohh!! You think he’ll ask me?”

I rolled my eyes inside at her somewhat clueless question. “I know he’ll ask you.”