When I first met you, I was on a pass from the psych hospital that I was locked up in. I’d been there for a month, I’d been in therapy for eight years even though I wasn’t quite fifteen yet.

I thought that I was going to hate you. I was scared, and even though my mom was there with me, I felt alone. You came down to the waiting room to meet me and my mom, and brought us up to your office. I noticed that you had a funny space between your teeth, and that you were really short, almost as short as me. I had to admit, that as much as I wanted to dislike you, I liked you office. It was a sunny day in June, so the window was open, light was flooding in. You had games on your shelves and stuffed animals near your desk.

You smiled at me, a warm genuine smile, and somehow it made it’s way through the wall around my heart, and melted some of my pain and fear away. That’s when I knew I couldn’t hate you.

By the time the intake session was over, I knew I liked you a lot. I didn’t really believe you or anyone for that matter had the power to help me, but I knew I liked you a lot.

On June 22nd, I moved into the Hamilton Center for Children. All the freedom was kind of scary after being in a locked hospital ward for so long. You were there for me though, with your kind soothing tones, and warm, loving smile. I was scared to death about my approaching birthday, I was thinking of killing myself before it. You talked to me a long time over that week before my birthday. When you realized I might need a hospital you introduced that option telling me there’d be no blame in being hospitalized, you put no pressure on me. I decided to stick around a while longer because you taught me that people can take the pressure off and be kind and gentle enough to cradle me in this world.

Later in my stay at Hamilton, when I did need to go to the hospital, we exchanged bracelets so we’d both be thinking of each other while we were apart.

After a little while you started that program where I could call you any time between nine in the morning and ten at night. That helped so much.

After tough sessions where I cried really hard, you’d give me a hug or a hand squeeze and would remind me that you’d help carry some of the difficult emotions that burdened me. It helped lighten my small body’s load.

Now as I near the end of my stay at Hamilton, it hurts that I will be leaving you behind soon. I cherish our sessions, and smile every time I see you. If I look back I realize that you’ve been doing what I thought was impossible. You’ve been helping me grow. I love you like a mom, Andrea. You’ve been awesome for me. I just wanted to thank you.