My first crack at a humor story so go easy on me. I got this idea when I was talking to Wyrdwolf he told me about it and I told him that I thought it was totally balls and that I was going to write it.

Technological Malfunctions

Hey there everybody! I’m BillyBobJoeGeorge Lewis the third! Now I know y’all know me. I’m that famous actor that starred in movies like The Matrix and Star Wars nowhere and Now sit down and shut up, I’m hear to tell you all a ghost story and your not going anywhere until I’m finished! It all started in a school in Mississippi…

“Hey Eric, you thirsty?” Tom asked his best friend.

“Hell yeah, get me a Coke!”

Now before I finish I would like too say that everyone knows that Coke is better than Pepsi. So back to the story…

Tom walked up to the vending machine and slid in his dollar. He pressed the coke button and the machine gave off a mechanical whirring noise. The machine delivered Toms icy beverage. He grabbed the drink and found, in his hand, a Pepsi. He immediately dropped to his knees and let out an unnecessary, overly dramatic “Noooooooooooooooooooooo!”

“Mom? Dad? Hey I’m home!” Tom called. Nobody was home. He dropped his keys on the counter and prepared his after school bagel. He grabbed his tasty treat from the freezer and dropped into the toaster. Tom pushed the lever down and waited for the bagel to toast. The toaster PING-ed and Tom jumped up. He grabbed the cream cheese and his bagel.

“What in the world is going on!” He screamed. He ran out of the house. The bagel dropped onto the counter and Thunk-ed. It was frozen solid.

Somewhere in Germany

Mike was a tourist. Plain and simple. He went to Germany three days ago on vacation. After a long day of touristing, he plopped on his couch, cracked open a beer, and threw on an adult video if you know what I mean. Oh yeah, Germany rocks. The movie started and on the screen two animals pop up. Mike was watching the discovery channel. He got up and popped the DVD out:

The Roof, The Roof, My Pants Are On Fire!

It was the correct movie. He immediately got on the phone. He dialed the hotel operator.

“I want to speak at the hotel Manager!” He screamed into the phone.

“Orange Monkeys?” The mechanical voice said.

“What?” Mike responded.

“Orange Monkeys”

“Stop that!”

“Orange Monkeys?”

“Aaarrgghh!” Mike ripped his hair out. The lack of technology would kill any man.