His soul felt like it was being ripped apart, atom by atom as she said the words to him. Reality came crashing down around his ears and for once his luck wouldn’t be able to help him out of the situation.

She had been clinging to him for the few minutes before she had told him but now it was his turn to be sated. With his arms wrapped around her, he held on tightly, trying to pull some sort of comfort out of the source that had caused him the pain. Gripping her as best he could, he could only find the smallest amount of relief.

Knowing if he talked, he would cry, he did his best to keep from doing so. However, those attempts were in vain as faulty words fell, stuttering out of his mouth, trying to save the situation. But even as he said them, he knew that nothing he could say would fix the situation.

Not being much of a beggar, he simply gave up. Tipping over, he tumbled to the grass to try to find some support. Feeling weak and light headed, he looked up at the girl with teary eyes who was calling to make him stand.

Viciously shaking his head, he looked away from her, not wanting to believe what was happening. She sat down next to him, laying a hand on his knee but the once warm and wanted touch felt like cold and death.

He wasn’t able to find any of the words that would make him feel better and there was no way she could take back the words she said. Every time he would try to speak he lost the words he would have said. It was the first time in his life that he was truly speechless.

Despite the words she said to try to console him, everything she said she slowly made it worse. With each passing word the pain got deeper and harder, rooting itself in his chest where the agony would fester until it ate him alive. He would have to finish being eaten by her before he could let his own self-wallowing take effect however.

“I can’t do this to you! You’re better than that. You love me so much more than I do you, I can’t just let this go on,” she told him.

Though, he certainly didn’t feel better than that. At that moment, he felt like the lowest being on the earth, never feeling worse. A different sort of pain, new and generated from something he’d shunned for nearly his entire life. He didn’t want to let her go.

“I still care for you, and want to know that you’re okay. It’s just that I don’t love you like my boyfriend anymore,”

Everything that he had, did, does love about her was put into those words. Put into the genre of how he picked his friends. They were honest, at the very least with him. She was being honest, trying to tell him that it wasn’t going to work out, no matter how much he wanted to. It hurt to hear it, but the truth hurts. He dealt it out like a main course, it was time he was fed a serving.

“You can’t possibly want me after this,”

Which was an untruth beyond all belief. There was nothing more in the world that he wanted more than her. He wanted her warm touch, soft kiss, pretty smile, delicate laugh and everything else that came with her. He loved her.

Trying to think about what was going to happen, he became cold and frighten. Getting up, he walked away a bit, trying to get some distance to help him think. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t give to make time turn back and fix everything. Though, he knew it would never happen. The savage assault on his heart was made, now it was just to see if the medics did their jobs well enough to revive the soldier.

“I’m glad you said it,” he told her.

It would have been a relationship to hate if it would have continued on with only one person really into it. It was a kind service to come out and end it, especially when you still care about how the person feels.

While embracing her, he embraced the fact that he had lost the battle. Hugging her tightly, he imagined the lack of her that he would be experiencing and let it soak in.

“You can’t do that!” he whined, pushing away from her.

Terrible, horrible mixed signals. She had moved to kiss him and they did. There was nothing he wanted to do more, he wanted her stay, never leave, never hear the words of departure again.

“What’s going to happen to us?”

They could become good friends. Even if they didn’t click in a physical relationship, they still held the mental bond that could hold them together. He trusted her more than almost anyone, and for good reason. Even if they couldn’t jump into friendship, it was a plan for the future.

“Take care of yourself. I still care about you,” she said.

Hugging again, it would be the last time for them to do so being together. It was the hardest thing he had to go through; willingly walking away from the girl he was in love with to never have that relationship again. However, what made it even harder was that she tried to kiss him again.

Turning his head sharply, he refused to let it happen. If she wanted to leave, then she needed to leave instead of making false promises. There was no good-bye on his part, no farewell. The cause was a mixture of her actions and his want for her.

As soon as he was out of sight, he cried, shaking violently.