Hello! Little one-shot here. It isn't slash, so you're safe if you don't like it. I actually wrote this after somethign very similar happened to me. You'll understand if you read it.

So, read! (Then review!)

Luv, I-B-Y-F, xxx

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I grin, noticing he’s texted me. He hardly texts anyone else, but he texts me. That’s good right? I hope so. I suppose we’re friends now, and that’s one step closer to getting to go out with him right? I read the text with a sudden feeling of heaviness on my heart:

‘hey u. how r u? gd i hope. i have my exam 2moz! anyway, cud u do me a favour? I like cassie and cud u ask her if she likes me then tell me? thnks. jake xx’

Cassie. It’s always about her isn’t it? She doesn’t even like the boys that much; she just messes around then dumps them. She’s only a pretty face. Well, that’s harsh, she’s not, but, well, I like him, and he has to like her, my friend. He even asked me to ask her. Ironic much? It’s not fair, but life’s not fair I guess.

If he really does like her I want to make sure I tell him the truth. If she makes him happy I can get over my own feelings. In fact, I lie, but I can leave them be, however much it hurts me to do it. He matters most here, not me and my stupid damn feelings.

It text him back, tears pricking behind my eyes:

‘course i’ll ask her 4 u. i’ll tell u wot she sez wen I no. k? see u 2moz hun, gd luck with ur exam. ally xx’

It’s so damn stupid. I like him. Me! Why can’t he like me? It’s not fair. But who cares, life is messed up and stupid and pointless. I think God hates me. Surely there can be no other explanation for this.

I feel a little like he’s betrayed me. But who was he to know that I like him? He wasn’t. It’s not his fault at all. I wish I had the guts to do what he’s done, just so I could know what he thinks about me. God I wish I knew, at least I would know whether I should leave him alone cause he hates me, just stay friends, or whether there’s a chance of something more there for me.

I can fool myself in my own little world that maybe he cares for me like that and one day I’ll be with him. But I’m a silly little girl who just doesn’t want to accept what is plain truth. Reality some call it. I don’t like it and I feel like a little kid, not wanting to believe that there’s no tooth fairy and that Father Christmas is code name for my parents.

The thing is, this is just a crush right? I can get over this. I won’t like him like this soon, I’ll like someone else. Give me a week and I won’t I swear. Really I won’t like him. It’ll be someone else who makes me feel warm inside and gives me butterflies when he smiles. It will be someone else. I’ll get over him, this is just a phase. It really is just a silly little schoolgirl crush on a friend. It is…

I can repeat the above words over and over again and it’s never going to work is it? I might as well face this reality:

I do have crush on him and the feelings are not going away. He however is not going to be with me. This is probably going to hurt for a long time. He will though, hopefully, be happy and I know I’m not preventing that. But I do feel for him. In fact, if I’m honest, I think I’m head over heels in love with him, even if it is just puppy love.

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Ooh! You've read it, now, review angels!