Off the Page by JD Allen

Epilogue

I finished the seventh book in record time, much to Georgie’s delight. Not to her delight, I decided it would be my last of the Dorian Quinn saga. She had been hoping I could at least finish out my contract with the publishing company with another two Dorian novels, but I convinced her that if I were to get out of this contract still sane, I had to put Dorian Quinn behind me. Though it pained her a bit, she did fully agree on the sanity thing. Somehow, along with my agent, she convinced the publishing company to allow me to write something else for my last two contract books without any legal drama.

And let’s just say, in light of recent events, I wasn’t short on inspiration. This time though, my main character is a woman. Just for safety’s sake.

And, just in case you’re curious, I didn’t kill off Cassandra and the baby. I wrapped up the book nice and happy in a “predictable Hollywood ending” the critics said, not too fond of my decision, but my fans loved it, and that’s all that matters, right? Anyway, I felt it was what I ought to do, as a way to redeem myself for my actions.

In a way I knew I owed it to Dorian too, though it was odd to feel that way, since he no longer existed. He was again composed of paper flesh and ink blood, nothing but a dream of a silly girl, but for a moment, just a moment, he had been a living breathing being, and so I owed him.

It was a strange time during the few months following Dorian entrance into existence, definitely not a time filled with moonbeams and candy canes, but filled with a lot of confusion, regret, sadness and a whole lot of soul-searching. But when I was wrapping up the seventh book, I found myself feeling something kind of strange: indifference.

I still loved him of course, but more like an author should love her characters, like a mother or a guardian, someone who appreciates them for what they are: objects of entertainment and that is all. I knew I’d always have a soft spot for him, but now, the thought of him being fictitious didn’t torture me, it was just a reality. And somehow, miraculously – and a bit slowly, I admit – I was able to accept it.

Upon this acceptance I also was able to let the huge weight of him fall off my shoulders, no longer hindering me from my life, opening me up to possibilities I never let in before. I let go of Dorian Quinn and in the process let myself go.

Find it hard to believe? Yeah, I would too, judging how you saw me at my worst, and I was worried I would still somehow be scarred by Dorian somehow. If I had created him to be my perfect man, how could I ever be happy with another guy? Would it be better for me to go for a guy completely opposite of Dorian, so as not to be reminded, or better to go for a guy as close to Dorian as I could get? That’s what I kept asking myself, but his words would always come back to me, “I may be your perfect man, but we are not meant for each other” and I had to tell myself to just let go, just let it happen, see what life brings.

And after awhile, amazingly enough, it worked.

Now I am halfway through my first non-Dorian book and not at all remorseful about giving him up. It has been over a year since he showed up in my hallway and I can safely say I’ve moved on. I’ve even had a second date (again, much to Georgie’s delight) if you can believe it, and am planning on going on my twenty-sixth date with the same guy this weekend. Crazy, I know. He doesn’t have much of a resemblance to Dorian, but he still has something about him that has me hooked.

Maybe it’s his Colin Farrell quality, who knows.

THE END