When the rain falls

I walk alone under the rain, feeling every single drop on my skin, remembering me of every single tear I cried for you. Can you recall those tears? I believed you cried your owns for me as well.

But we were happy, weren't we? Pretending that life was just going great for both of us. Pretending that life was following the path we had chosen. Pretending to believe we would be together in the end.

The rain hurts, you know? It hurts when you're not there with your improvised umbrella, trying to protect me. But all good thing comes to an end.

We were happy for a moment. I'll remember those days forever. I will remember every single time you smiled, every single time you've told me "I love you". Will you remember that? Did you even mean it? I know time changes people. I'm aware that distance isn't love's best friend. But we had it all, didn't we?

My tears start running straight down my face, confounding themselves with the rain. What's rain, after all? Is it tears, like I was told when I was a little girl?

I think about all those conversations. Everything you've said and done... I can't stop myself from thinking you were lying all the time. You said you would love me forever. You said we would be together in the end, just like in a fairy tale. I guess that wasn't enough. I guess you didn't want to wait any longer.

Our friends left after your good-bye, you know? Maybe we had none before. Maybe it was already just you and me, like you said it would be in the end. But I felt empty, like I never thought I would feel, when I understood there was no one left. Some of them have came back, though. Some of them said "I love you" and meant it. Those will be there for me forever, I'm sure, unlike yourself. And they make me smile.

I don't want you to think I miss you, though. I don't want you imagining me crying over your pillow. I will survive without you, you know? I realised you weren't the reason why I breathed. Nevertheless it was good while it lasted. I confess those were the happiest moments of my life. I admit that every "I love you" made me smile. But those words are gone. I've grown up, just like you did. And our paths differ from now on. And I don't want to be stuck with my memories of you.

Rain... It's cold, hard, hurts but still I can't stop loving it. It reminds me of you. It brings me back flashes of when I was happy with you. Rain doesn't bring bad memories as I expected. Rain makes me feel in peace for knowing I can still recall good memories of when we were one.

If you look outside your window, if you forget you own private world for a second, you can still see me walking under the rain, smiling.