Day 1

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It's been several months since it happened. I often find myself looking to my side, inquiring why she isn't there, walking beside me. It feels so long ago, yet at the same time it feels like it just happened yesterday. It feels like my whole world was lost only just the other day. My love, my soul, my ambition. My will to live on almost sucked completely out.

I find myself ask, "Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I have saved her?"

It tears me up inside.

I can feel her. I know she's there. Somehow, I can still feel her touch, still feel her warmth. Her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, staring into whats left of my soul. Watching over me, watching my every move.

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Summer would normally feel pleasant; walking in the park feeling the breeze flowing through my hair, the sound of grasshoppers in the grass. Normally its pleasant. Normally I enjoy my time. But not this year, not ever, not since I lost her.

I remember when those walks in the park did matter though, when they were pleasant, when they did bring me joy. I remember, and it makes things worse!

Now I sit alone at night, wondering why me, why did I have to lose the one thing that meant so much to me. I would give anything to have her back.

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I can't help but see her everywhere I go. Or...at least think I see her. It's all an illusion though. Only my mind playing tricks on me, just like it does when I see her in the mirror, staring back at me.

It's all in my head though. I know she's not coming back. Not ever!