Cling to me as if you needed me to live.

I know you don’t exist but you are real to me.

I can feel you in the lush, green grass of my new carpet, in the wind through my car window.

I can picture the wedding day,

I find traces of you in library books, in musicals, in fairy tales.

And I don’t even know your name yet.

You’re in the mall when I’m feeling good and in my tears when I am sad.

You find perfection in my flaws and the items I had lost and my car keys when I can’t hear them jingling.

You’re in my father, in my brother, in the prints in my room but you are there somewhere.

I can picture the wedding day.

I felt you in that movie, in that drawing, in that avatar.

You inspire me though you’ve never known my name.

Someday I swear you will, you’ll change my life, you’ll be my everything but first I have to find you.

I can picture the wedding day.

I’ll wear silk and lace and you’ll be strong when I go teary-eyed with inside jokes in our vows and then we’ll dance with our families embarrassed by their imperfections.

After we’ll send thank-you cards to the anonymous faces and laugh about the stupid silverware we’ll never use.

You’ll go to work and I’ll clean, do the laundry, feed the fish and have the best dinner I can manage waiting for you when you return.

You’ll complain about your overbearing boss and I’ll tell you I don’t know how we’ll pay the bills this week but then we’ll hold hands and watch reruns and everything will go away.

Like you, right now.

I’m alone yet you’re still with me in future.

I’ll meet you someday thought I’ll not know that it’s you.

Then after some time, maybe a month or three I’ll recognize you from that movie, that musical, my father, my carpet, the wind and you’ll ask me why I’m looking at you funny and I’ll smile and say, “Nothing dear.” But I’ll be busy picturing our wedding day.