Letter to Parents

Dear Ma and Pa,

I know it’s not easy, the thing that you guys did just so that my siblings and I have the kind of life that we have now. I know it’s not easy leaving us the way you did. Ben was just eight the first time you went away; I was eleven with chicken pox.

The years you guys spend away from us must have been hell. Wondering everyday what we might be doing at a particular time or just wondering if we’re okay. It must have been hard coming home only to leave again after just a few weeks. It’s never easy. And each year seems to become harder and harder. As we grow older and realize what your lives are really all about. Things started to become real.

Living without you guys by our sides was equally hard. And each day that passes not seeing you had also been hell. We grew up looking at families with their moms and dads beside them. Sundays would really be terrible looking around the church and seeing a complete family praying together. Parent-Teacher conferences where I only have either ate or kuya to attend them. Teachers wouldn’t treat them seriously because they are but kids themselves.

Ate and I never had a debut. Though, it’s not really a loss to not have one, I would always wonder how it would feel like to try to convince you that I don’t need it. I have been unlucky, that everytime I graduate, neither of you could attend. Again, not really a big loss since I didn’t even want to spend so much on marching but since you insisted, I had always wondered what you may have felt seeing me on stage taking my fake diploma during that “momentous” occasion. All the “what ifs” in life, just because you guys wanted a better life for the four of us.

I wonder what you might be feeling everytime you arrive here? Time must have stood still when you leave each time. Thinking that the kids you left would stay that way. Were you shocked to find us instead? I know we send pictures and stuff but the real thing is still different right? I mean, pictures don’t usually bring justice to the real thing. Are you disappointed? Happy? Proud? Devastated?

My siblings and I grew up without you being physically there for us. But I hope that you are proud with what we have become. You two might not be there for us all the time but you guys did bring us up right. We never forgotten all the lessons that you have taught us. And the two of you not being there has also taught us to become independent. To know that we can stand up on our own two feet.

My siblings and I are closer than any kind of sibling relationship because you taught us the value of sibling bonding. Arguments and misunderstandings would always be there. What family doesn’t? Even the most religious family would have disagreements every once in a while. But in the end, we always found a compromise. That’s what you guys have taught us. That whatever it is that we do not agree upon, always remember that we are a family.

We might have grown up differently from what you two have envisioned us to be but I hope that you’re proud of us nonetheless. Though we drink and Kuya smokes, we were never drug addicts. We finished college in the courses that we more or less chosen. None of us got pregnant or got someone pregnant. None of us went to jail or got in any serious trouble (okay…with the exception of that libel case…but you do get my point). We kept our noses fairly clean and tried to at least make something of ourselves that would make you guys proud.

We might not be at the top of our classes. The courses that we’ve chosen didn’t give us fancy titles like Dr. or Atty. We still live in the house that we grew up in, driving the family care and trying to maintain it the best we could. But I do hope that you see the effort that we put in just so that you wouldn’t think that we were just wasting your money.

We love you guys. We might not say it as often as other kids, but we hope that we show it.

Love,

Your Kids