Starring Carolina Wren (not the Carolina from For Lack of a Better Word) and Kassandra Altman, best friends and stock characters who show up now and again. Based on an experience or two of mine, much to my irritation--my preferences aren’t your business, and yours aren’t mine. And “bi” is a prefix, not a word!

Oh well. Teenagers show a regrettable tendency towards melodrama.

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“You guys, I have an Announcement to make,” said Rachel, grinning.

Carolina, well used to Rachel’s sundry Announcements, motioned go on with her hand and carried on reading.

“I’m bi!” she said, clearly delighted.

Kassandra, who was painting her nails Wicked Green (#701), said, “Okay,” sleepily.

Carolina looked up. “Bi what?” she asked. She knew she sounded waspy; she couldn’t help it. “Bipedal? Bipolar? A newfound bicycle enthusiast? What?”

Rachel stared at her before rolling her eyes. “Bisexual, silly!”

“Oh?” asked Carolina. “When did this happen?”

“Just last night. I had a revelation.”

“Oh, a revelation, I see.” Carolina crossed her arms. “And when did you discover your attraction to girls?”

Rachel hesitated. “Well. I don’t know . . . exactly if I’m attracted to girls, you know . . . but I feel like it’s something I can identify with, you know? Like, the openness, the really good, you know, welcoming vibe.”

“Welcoming vibe?” asked Carolina. “Rachel, you can’t be bisexual if you don’t like girls.”

“And boys,” said Kassandra absently.

“And boys!” said Rachel. “I’m at least half there.”

“Half is straight,” Carolina said.

Kassandra got up, shaking her hand, before looking Rachel in the face. “If you were bisexual, you could do this and not be grossed out.”

“Do what?” Rachel asked, but Kassandra had already crossed past her and was kissing Carolina gently on the mouth before the other two knew what she was doing.

“Well, how about that,” said Carolina, touching her lips.

Kassandra said, “Yeah,” and sat back down. “Oh man,” she continued, looking at her hands. “They got all smudged.”

Rachel looked at the two of them admiringly. “Are you two a couple?” she gushed. “Oh, that’s so sweet.”

Carolina was still obviously feeling shellshocked, so Kassandra pulled herself together, looking more focussed than she had in several months. “No,” she said. “We are not. Unless something really, really weird happens, we’re not going to be. But even if we were, it wouldn’t be your business.

“Besides, you don’t actually care. Trust me. I mean, I don’t really care about your life. You just want some gossip.”

Rachel made a little affronted sound in the back of her throat.

“Now go away,” Kassandra said, sitting back down to her nails again.

Rachel turned away with an offended huff and stomped from the room.

“Hey, cool,” said Carolina, “why didn’t we try that before?”

She sat down heavily, watching Kassandra. “Can I have some of that?”

Kassandra pushed it over. “Have fun,” she said. “I’m going back to sleep.”