Divided

“Are you sure revealing that it was you who betrayed him was a good idea? It feels as though we’ve shown too much of our hand at once.”

The Colpharan officer was walking along a narrow hallway with Calvin to one side, and the fiery haired interrogator behind the two.

“In my opinion, this will actually speed the process up, not hinder it. It would’ve only been a matter of time before he figured out it had been me.”

“Couldn’t we have played it as being the other?”

“No, that would never work. He trusts Jon more than any other being save for one. The two of them are like brothers, and have been for years before I even knew David. Though, speaking of Jon, just how in the world did he not get killed by your men?”

“I wish I knew. You told me he was the best fighter of the three of you, but I had no idea he could be that good. My guess is that he would never have folded under torture either?”

“You would guess right. Even as stubborn as David can be, there’s a better chance with him than with a man as fiercely loyal as Jon. Our chances are especially better with our little trinket.”

“And the torture.”

“Well, yes. I must admit, without that, we’d likely be outright screwed.”

“I just hope he has the answers you’re convinced he does.”

“So do I. regardless of what you or he believe, I do care for him. We are friends. However, I still have to do what’s right.”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to go too far then. In the meantime, we should wake our guest.”

The room was dim. Even if my attention were on my surroundings, there wouldn’t be much to make out. The only thing I could, was the girl standing in front of me. She was all I could see, as she stood before me unbuttoning a shirt of mine she had on. Actually, it was the only thing she had on. I could feel my heart skip and my breath catch in my throat as the final button was undone, and she let the shirt drift down her arms and back to the ground behind her.

I stared in awe at just how perfect her body appeared to me. Not too skinny, and not fat, but with just the slightest belly. Her entire body had good tone, especially around her legs. She seemed formed much like a dancer’s figure with a small frame and breasts then that sexy tight butt. Her hair was down framing her face ad smile incredibly. The green of her intense eyes seemed to almost glow.

My body went rigid and arousal overtook me before Rose even laid a hand on me. She leaned in close and we embraced. It didn’t take much before short mostly closed mouth kisses, became long, aggressive, and passionate ones.

She began to run her hands down along my shirt then grabbed at the bottom, slowly pulling it up to my chest. Our tongues retracted and the both of us separated, just long enough for Rose to remove the shirt entirely. The loose clothing had not yet touched the floor before our lips and mouths joined together hungrily once again.

My hands began to travel down the line of her spine to her lower back, then finally around her firm buttocks. Her own hands had begun to roam as well, from my shoulders down to my chest and stomach, then to my waist. She then began to undo the belt, button, and zipper of my pants. I felt the tug of the pants descending my legs and then the warmth of her touch.

A feeling like an electric current raced through my body, causing me to back further onto the bed. Rose only followed suit, bringing herself onto the bed with me. Our mouths separated and we sat staring into each other’s eyes a moment. Silently, we agreed. She moved now so close we were breast to breast and she held herself up slightly above me. Her hands were around my neck for balance. She looked me in my eyes once more before slowly lowering herself onto me.

This feeling wasn’t just electricity; it was a bolt of lightning. For a moment she sat in place with me inside her. Then I could feel her legs tighten around my sides as we began to grind into one another. Our heavy breaths became more frequent, broken up only when our lips and tongues united.

We began slowly at first but gradually quickened pace until finally I rolled her over onto her back flat on the bed. Her heels dug hard into my lower back, only making me thrust more powerfully, which seemed to fuel even harder digging. Our breathing came into sync with the rhythm of our love making. I could begin to feel a great heat begin to travel about my body.

It was beginning to come now. A look from Rose told me she was there as well. Her fingers began to scratch into my back as we both climaxed. I no longer felt the pressure of her heels in my back, but still her legs remained wrapped about me. We lay entangled staring into each other’s eyes for some time until finally we both fell into sleep with me still inside of her. Neither of us wanted to part.

I tried to open my eyes slowly at first, but then they shot wide on their own. No longer was I laying in the comforting bed, home, and arms of the woman that I loved. I was now flat on a small cot in a stone room. There was a tremor of pain that emanated from the back of my skull. Now I remembered.

There at the airport we had both stood for what seemed like an eternity, even though it was at most a handful of minutes from the time we heard the first boarding call, and she pleaded with me to be with her. To any normal person such a decision should’ve been an easy one. We had both already been in love with each other longer than we could admit…and yet we finally had. We dropped our defenses long enough for the truth to cross our lips. Being one of the closest people in her life, I was aware of the things in her past that would make such a thing hard for her to admit. It did not hit me lightly whatsoever when she confessed her love for me.

The real horror in a sense came from hearing those words actually come from her. I had some suspicion during our friendship…and had been already at that point heavily invested in love for the girl, but entertaining the possibility…a true chance of a reciprocated feeling, was a painful one. It terrified me like no other worldly thing could. We had only touched on the subject lightly, even given our time and depth of care for one another. I felt like a cheat though. She had always been very forthcoming with me, and I, while also being very truthful with her…held many things back as well.

At the age of 25, I had only been with one girl, and a decade ago at that. Looking at it like that, it should’ve been just a simple step to take in life and move on. Yet somehow it wasn’t. I had convinced myself I was in love with a girl from school. As much in love as any child is at that age really. I was not the outgoing sort of boy. I was quiet, and while I had friends, I was barely social. The idea of confronting a girl, to be anything other than friendly or polite was foreign to me.

Somewhere along the road of high school life, we became friends. Not particularly close ones really, but that was mostly par for the course. She came to me, as many friends, when she was in need of counsel, or company. She came when she needed safety and comfort. Then, something happened. The details are hazy, but events led into our spending a night together. I believed we had made love, though, it turned out, her idea of things were far different than mine.

I ignored the rumors; I even ignored what I might normally take as a sure sign to not get involved with her. She was what some would call, a flirt, or what some who were less polite would refer more commonly to as a slut, or whore. For my part, I knew of her relationships, both past and present, in painful details at times. It was when she had called me about her most recent in a long line of failed relationships with both of her boyfriends finding out about one another, that things somehow got out of hand. She had made numerous passes at me while I was there to console her, and I…ignoring my better judgment, gave in.

It became abundantly clear after, how monumental a mistake it was…on her part. She made that very clear to me. My nearly nonexistent ego took a swan dive off a mile high cliff into a bed of steel nails after that. I knew I wasn’t her typical interest, in any form, but especially physically. I suppose I just thought…hoped…that didn’t matter. I was so very wrong.

After that, we never spoke, though not for lack of trying. I wanted to stay in touch, the fact that I was hurt didn’t change the fact that I felt like I loved her. She wasn’t interested. Soon after, I just, gave up. As small an event as that, if I were somebody else, I could have gotten over it I think. Instead, I harbored all that she had said, had thought, and came to the conclusion that I was simply an undesirable. I can still recall an incident in which I had broken all the mirrors in my father’s home, because I was disgusted with the reflection. Even the years that followed, whatever inklings I had, or looks I received, I simply disregarded as being play, or foolishness. Any mention of feelings toward me beyond those of a more filial form became ludicrous. I wouldn’t accept it. I couldn’t accept it.

There I stood, with a woman who was very much an embodiment of the things I could only ever dream of in a love. On more than one occasion I feared that she was nothing more than a figment of some residual hope, or optimism I was clinging to. Yet there she was, as real as the building we were in. In that handful of minutes I went over it all in my head, silently, while she looked at me with those hopeful emerald eyes of hers. My mind making one leap to another.

She says she loves me. She isn’t a liar by nature. She’s always been very forward about her feelings. Yet, then why now would she say such a thing? Is it only because I’m leaving for the military? Perhaps she’s just scared of losing a friend, and is acting out of desperation. Desperation? It’s not as though she’d be losing me completely, we’d still stay in touch. Chances are that given enough time she’d see me for what I really am. Right now she’s just projecting something onto me, that she thinks she sees but, for her part, is only really her being hopeful that the right person is me. But I’m not the right person for her. I’m not right for anybody, least of all her. She deserves everything she truly desires, not something she’ll have to just…settle for. That’s not me. I do love her. And maybe she truly does believe she loves me too. But it’s only with one facet of me. We are very good together as far as that part of a relationship goes…but then…there’s the other part. I could protest, but she wouldn’t understand. She’s been physically attractive all her life. Even if I’ve changed a little…I’m still the same ugly boy I’ve been all my life. Couldn’t she see beyond that though? Perhaps…just a little…but in the end, it’s unrealistic.

The debate went over in my head back and forth on either side of the court for what seemed like forever. In the end, one side had to win. In the end, I am ever the coward. In the end, I did something I promised, and having not foreseen these events, actually believed I would never do. I caused Rose pain. The look of tears in her eyes before I turned my back on her tore me apart. I knew if she saw my own, she might persist, maybe even insist on staying. I couldn’t allow that. She had a life in Borev. She had a chance at happiness. I had to believe that this I was doing for her. But then, why instead of feeling like I was doing what was right…I carried sorrow, and anger? I felt, regret.

I truly did make an effort on my first day in training. After one sleepless night, with nothing but the week I spent with Rose, and even more of the time in the airport plaguing my mind, I had enough. Desertion was out of the question, for the consequence for that act was termination. You became a criminal. But that was not the same if you were ejected from service. The next day, I broke my instructors nose, who recovered remarkably quickly, and now here I was, the second time finding myself in solitary. I could only imagine how badly things would be from this moment on.

There came the sound of footsteps from beyond the door. I suddenly became aware while trying to stand up of both the incredible pain from a sore near the back of my neck, but also, that the dream of Rose had left me…excited. I tried gathering myself, but when the door began to open all there was to do was cross my legs and sit straight up on the cot. For some reason, my arms shot behind my arms, as though I were trying to look very leisurely in my little cell.

The door opened with a screech I was certain wasn’t present when I first entered. I expected the captain, or an MP, or even the drill instructor looking for a little more revenge. What came through the door was none of these. Forgetting myself I shot up out of the cot, backed to the wall.

Suddenly my skin felt like it was burning, yet cold at ice all at once. My fingertips brushed the cell wall and I flinched. It was like scraping them against sandpaper. My body felt as though it were being assaulted by the world. The air felt hotter, and the uniform I was in made my skin itch uncontrollably.

“Who are you!?” I screamed.

The man with no true face just stepped forward. He was mere inches away from me now. His mannequin body straight as a board. His featureless head seemed to tilt downward slightly. Then before my eyes, the man’s head produced a pair of ears. It was more like just the framework for ears, as plain and without humanlike flaw as the rest of him, but it disturbed me nonetheless.

“David.” I heard.

“What?”

“David Simms.”

“What do you want!?”

The head shifted back up, and if ever there were eyes, I think they would have burned a hole in me at that moment.

“Wake up now.”

In a swift shift of weight, the thing’s hand connected with my left cheek, sending pain like a hot brand across my face, and through my body. There was an incredibly bright light that evolved from nothing, and I felt myself being drawn to it suddenly.