Lapis Lazuli

By Lauryn Seering

Pr 9 Creative Writing

Tally flopped back on the crimson bed and gave a loud exacerbated sigh. She put her hands backwards over her face and spliced her fingers so she could watch the patterns that the sunlight was making on the white crumbly ceiling. She felt the cool metal of her new gold ring against her cheek and pushed her hand away from her face so she could examine it.

It was a beautiful ring. Not made of diamonds or rubies or anything cliché like that, Matt had given her a lapis lazuli ring. Lapis lazuli was her favorite stone. It had been romantic of him, to say the least. Sighing again, she let her eyes drift shut.

She was now a married woman. No more Mrs. Clark or ‘Clark-the-cluck’ or any other stupid names that people at the office called her. No, now she was Tally Montoa. The name felt weird for her, she had gotten so used to her other one. She spoke it out loud softly, letting the words roll off her tongue softly. It didn’t seem to fit with her and she didn’t know why. She also didn’t know why she felt a knot in her throat or why she felt so nervous. This was her honeymoon after all, but after her first marriage had failed so miserably on her, she had sworn to never marry again. So maybe that could account for her trepidation.

But now here she was, in a beautiful luxurious hotel room in the balmy Caribbean, feeling utterly depressed and trying very hard not to cry. She felt like at any second Matt would march in the room and declare her unfit for him like her first husband had done. Then he would explain that he was cheating on her with a man and he was in love with this man, just like her first husband did.

She knew this was ridiculous, but all she could think about was all the stuff they would have to deal with after the marital bliss ended. She also knew all too well that it would end, sooner or later. She fretted and anguished over the future fights they would have, how hard it would be to move into the house they intended to buy, and all that nonsense.

She was brought out of her depressing reverie when she heard the door slam to her right. Lifting herself off the bed, she saw her husband walk into the room. He smiled gently at her and walked over to the bed, his fingertips brushing her cheeks softly. She smiled back up at him but he could see right through it. He could tell she was upset.

“Tally, what’s wrong?” He asked her, his tenor voice oddly soothing to her. She gave another sigh and took a big breath, finally giving him a sincere smile.

“Matt, lets make memories of this vacation.” She told him, standing up and grabbing his hand. He nodded and chuckled for a moment, then pulled her over to the room’s balcony. The weather was warm and humid, and the air smelled of salty mist. The ocean beyond the beach was beautiful, a warm cerulean color that made her feel happy despite herself. Who could feel angst when they had such a beautiful place to enjoy?

Matt put his arms around her and she leaned into him slightly. The material of his shirt was a little scratchy, but Tally ignored it. They were both silent for a long time, each wrapped up in their own various thoughts. After a while, Matt broke the comfortable quiet, startling Tally a little.

“You know, someday when we have kids running around everywhere, we can take them on nice vacations like this.” Matt told her, his voice sounding happy and warm. Tally stiffened beneath him, turning around suddenly. Her eyebrows were creased and she looked troubled.

“Kids?” She asked softly, wringing her fingers nervously. Matt placed his hands on her shoulders. “I know you never had kids,” Matt told her softly, as if she was a child, “but I’m sure that I would make a great father! I think you would make a great mommy too…” He told, smiling down at her, thinking this would comfort her. Everyone got a little nervous about kids, after all.

“That’s not it at all, Matt.” Tally told him, taking a step back. She wrapped her arms around her, as if she was cold. Matt’s hand that had been on her shoulders fell limp and he stared at her, waiting for the worst.

“What do you mean? You don’t think I would make a good dad?” he asked her.

“Matt, I thought I told you.” Tally stated, turning away from him. She leaned up against the railing and tried not to cry. She felt really icky. Matt came up next to her.

”Told me what?”

”I can’t have children, Matt. Todd didn’t want any so after we were married for three years I got a Tuballigation…”

Matt was silent for a long time. Tally felt like she wanted to die. She knew very well how much Matt loved kids and how well he did with them. When they had gone to Christmas at her Dad’s that year, he had played constantly with her sister Tammy’s new daughter. She knew he would make a great father too, and she knew he wanted kids of her own. She had told him though, she thought, a long time ago. Even though she thought he knew she couldn’t have kids, she figured that he loved her anyway. To find out that it had been something he was looking forward too broke her heart. She wasn’t what he wanted her to be.

“…Why?” He finally asked quietly, his voice sounding chocked. Tears started to stream down Tally’s face. Her cheeks turned red and she tried to say something to Matt, but found that her throat was too welled up. Not a word would escape. She had the sudden urge to bolt out of the room and buy a plane ticket and go home. She was just about to make a break for it when she felt Matt’s arms around her.

“Tally, don’t cry… you’re not supposed to cry on your honeymoon, unless its because of something I’m doing to you.” Matt joked, winking and trying to give a happy-go-lucky smile. Tally’s cheeks burned a slightly deeper red and she hiccupped twice.

“I thought I told you about it a long time ago.” She finally told him, scrapping as much energy as she could. She knew she must look pretty horrible by now, because she was an ugly crier. Her green eyes would get all puffy and her face would swell from her rubbing at her tears. Matt sighed and took her hand, leading her back into the room. They both sat on the crimson bed together.

“Was I drunk when you told me this?” Matt finally asked, looking a little confused, “I think I would remember something like that.”

In spite of herself, Tally giggled. Matt always looked so cute when he was confused, because it happened so rarely. He prided himself on intelligence, and often picked things up very quickly. Matt smiled again, happy to see that she wasn’t crying anymore though he wasn’t sure what she was giggling at. He didn’t care if she was laughing at him anyway, just as long as she didn’t look so sad. He hated it when women cried, especially Tally.

“Tally, I don’t love you any less because of this so don’t even think that. If anything, I just want to go kill that stupid ex-husband of yours even more… we still have options, you know. If you get surgery, you can reverse it. Or, we could adopt. We can work things out, this isn’t the end.”

Tears began to pour from Tally’s eyes again. Matt panicked, thinking he said the wrong thing. He began to babble incoherently, which was what he tended to do when he was nervous. Tally silenced him by putting her index finger to his lips. Talking a deep breath, Tally stunned Matt with the most breathtaking smile he had ever see her give him.

“Thank you…” She told him, peering back down at her lapis lazuli ring. Her heart swelled at the sight of it. The stone was the color of the deep ocean, and the color of tears, but it was also the color of hope. Matt grabbed his hand inside hers and squeezed. They would make it, even if just to prove Tally’s ex-husband wrong.