I suddenly picture what this may look like to a bystander, a girl raping her boyfriend perhaps? I let out a hysterical chuckle as I continued to kiss his face in every place. I don’t really know what I am doing. I try to stop myself in my head, but it is all a low whisper against the screaming of desire pulsing through my veins. All I know is that I really want him and don’t particularly know why. I mean I know why, but I don’t. He groans and shifts uncomfortably under my weight. A flashed look in the eyes then I plunge over and over at every bit of skin.

“Stop crying, you crazy person…” he smirks finally. I couldn’t even believe I was. I stopped and wiped my face, which didn’t help seeing as it was pouring rain and we were lying in a small pool of water. I climbed off promptly and stared crinkling my forehead in concern. My hands are shaking; I had full intentions to ‘go all the way’, but seeing as I now have made a complete fool of myself I can’t. I only wanted…

“You wanted to show that you didn’t mean what you said.” He does that every time. “You are a sick girl. Using me as your play thing,” My eyes enlarged twice their normal size I think as he spoke these words. He laughed loudly and finally stood up seeming to tower me now. He slipped his hand behind my neck and stared at me for a minute or two. I am so scared I try to gulp discreetly but it only entertained him.

“Stella?!” I hear shooting my gaze to my right. “Where are you? Are you back there? Natalie, I think people are back here.” My father?! What the hel- I didn’t come home. Shit, shit, fuck. Quickly Marc slipped his hand out from behind me and backed away a good two feet.

I brought my hand to my forehead and rubbed it soothingly. It didn’t help much.

“Stella Olivia Jefferson, what on earth are you doing- why are you covered in mud? Why didn’t you call?! We have been so worried about you! Do you know the trouble you have caused?” I see my mom come into view and father trailing her. Oh mother I wanted to say you don’t even want to know. I lowered my head to my shoe and sock.

My mother finally was in front of me in full light. A sudden urgency went through my stomach to my head. They can’t know about Matt. Please oh please! “You, young lady, are lucky that the Dukes were generous enough to get the phone this late when we called to tell us where you went.” Mr. Duke knows we snuck out! I didn’t look up to see my father come to my side, put an arm around my shoulder, and kiss the top of my head. Don’t touch me. I am not disgusted with the affection of my parents oh no I just feel awkward. Seeing as I was about three minutes ago making out with Marc… ew. That entered the back of my mind as I felt the full effect of what was going to happen.

“Why are you here?” My dad asked calmly in my ear. Why am I here. Why am I here! Because I thought I could date a 30-year-old and get away with it, but in the end he was a bastard. So then I tried to ‘go all the way’ with my new boyfriend, but because I am such a freak I cried and couldn’t. Yeah, that’ll work.

“I am here because-“, this is normally the part in the movie where the handsome man who is standing to the side comes in and saves her from punishment, “…I snuck out to see if I could meet people and go out.” I guess the saving didn’t happen, thanks Marc. It was half the truth though! Sad thing is I wish what I said was the problem.

“Well you are in huge trouble!” My mom jabbed me in the stomach with her finger. “You won’t be going out for awhile. I hope you had your fun now.” Believe me I have. I shifted my stare up to my mother then father. He left my side to meet my mother by hers. Blinking quickly meeting Marc’s bored expression, both my parents turned towards him.

“Who are you, young man?” I hate my mother. She is crazy which is probably why I am.

Marc slid his hands nonchalantly into his pockets as if discussing the weather. My dad held his umbrella over my mom, but not himself. “I’m Marc Duke.” He started simply.

“Oh, Mr. Duke’s son I presume?” She is trying to sound smart. Ugh. Whenever I use words like ‘presume’ she calls me a smart ass.

Marc nodded and then looked over at me with a small smile. I’m telling you he is bipolar, or really good at hiding things. “Let’s just call it what it is.” I raised my brow at him, and my mom turned to look at me like ‘what the hell is he talking about?’

“What do you mean by this, boy?” Oh now father will question him. I watch as they all read each other’s looks.

He sighed lightly, “I am dating your daughter, sir.” It is killing him inside admitting such a thing, to strangers none the less. Saved.

Mom very gradually turned facing me with a grin from ear to ear. My father, however, huffed with disapproval. He crossed his arms, narrowed his eyes, and ground his teeth. I could tell from Marc’s ‘innocent’ expression that he was enjoying this. While my mother fretfully ran her hands through her short, wispy hair, I sighed internally.

Finally out of his silent irritation my dad grumbled, “How long?” I tapped my foot making a small splashing sound. I can’t lie I guess.

Just as I turn my attention to all of them, Marc speaks up instead, “Since yesterday, if you must know.” Just as my dad raised a hand in protest he was interrupted. “You care for details as well?” no one spoke. I felt my blood like snakes constrict through my veins. I breathed in shaking my head involuntarily. Stop it… “Well this afternoon Stella came over as we had planned to work on the project.” Every word he spoke made my heart miss a beat. My hands numbed from holding them in fists behind my back. I couldn’t even look over at my parents. It made me sick inside to even think about their expressions. “I had finished a good amount of it already,” a smile twisted on the corner of his lips.

“Then why invite her over?” My father rubbed his temples. I thought it would all add up with no more words to be said. Apparently not as both my parents still look curiously at Marc.

Licking his lips I scrutinize the next words, “To get her where I wanted her, of course.” I choked on my next gulp of air. I want to die. I learned my lesson god! I ran my fingers across my face and through my hair.

“Which would be where?!” Sudden tension building in every word my father speaks. He balled his fists and hunched over slightly. I mother grabbed his shoulders and tried to assuage him.

This time I turned around completely to avoid facing anymore. I can’t take it anymore! I closed my eyes tight and folded my hands forcefully. The best thing and the worst thing in my life is this. Replaying the past week over and over through my head like a movie, I pull everything to this very moment. Make or Break. Tell the truths left in my cocoon or stay stuck for eternity. Jump into the water head first allowing the water to fill me and clear out everything that has happened. Floating with gravity towards the bottom. What lies at the foundation of truth? Like what lies at the bottom of the water we cannot know until we plunge to the beyond. Live life, don’t hide it.

“I know where.” All the attention was turned to me suddenly. This is the moment that I’ve been waiting for.

“Don’t tell me this rich bastard made you ha-have…” dad couldn’t even grasp the idea of sex for his own child. Luckily for him I can’t either. Such a minuscule thing compared to the big picture.

“No,” a group sigh of relief came from my parents. Marc looked intriguingly at me. “I wanted to though. I want a lot of things you probably wouldn’t understand…” They all looked concerned now. I swallowed hard continuing. “For instance, I wanted do be with an older man. Not just any older man,” I felt wetness behind my eyes twinge, “but the man who works here at this store.” Blank expressions my father and mother didn’t believe seem to believe what they were hearing. Small tears trickled once again with rain, “I thought he was the one for me. We met up, we’ve… we’ve kissed, but nothing more then that.” That still didn’t settle the troubled appearance they both shared. Like an epiphany I came to my final real understanding. Hitting the bottom of the water I can see a light settling in. The waves have shifted. I laughed lightly, “Then I met Marc. I was so afraid of him, but now, now I can see everything. I am seeing the light in the water!” All of their eyes enlarge and don’t seem to grasp the concept. I finally do! I know one thing now. It isn’t rocky at the bottom, goodness no. A clear light shows the shimmering, soft sand I ultimately can feel. “I- I mean to say, in short, Marc saved me from Matt. Matt, the store manager.” I was so hysterical I wouldn’t let anyone else speak.

Finally Marc smiled completely and nodded slowly. I could care less what my parents thought anymore. I pranced up to my lover and hugged him as tight as I could.

We ended up dropping off Marc at his house and on the way home I told them everything. I took a gulp of water and let loose everything that was contaminating my insides. Sure I am grounded for a good month, but doesn’t that sound like the best thing in the world?