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Chapter Five-Three Eye Contact

-NEW CHAPTER-
October 28, 2007.

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School was a surprisingly casual affair. Though she knew she would see Shittiquette, also known as Eric Chernekov (even his real name was music to her ears), she wasn’t as nervous as she thought she was going to be. Maybe between last night and this afternoon, she realized he didn’t have a clue of what she looked like. She was also unusually more intimate with Rick, staying as close to him as possible as if they were glued at the hip. Shawna and Christie knew that they were going out, because Rick had told them, and though there was a little jealousy, they both had nothing to really worry about. Shawna had a beautiful boyfriend and Christie liked being single. She said it made it easier to focus on school.

Despite the casualness and normalcy of the day, Liyla became more receptive to how much she actually saw Eric, and he often wandered alone, though he looked self content. She held Rick’s arm and walked right past him, and couldn’t help but stare at his sharp, angular, and dark features, how lanky and tall-ish he was, bordering pale, drenched in boredom and a dreamy, distant, but concentrated gaze. She watched his eyes, and inwardly gasped when they turned and met hers. She whipped her head away and cowered at Rick’s side as they headed for the auditorium. Eric didn’t even look back.

There was something about eye contact that Liyla always believed in. Her father was personable, with a great, clear, steady voice and a friendly mustache, and most importantly, very kind eyes. He had run several of his own businesses before passing them on to his cousins, and he would always tell Liyla that the most important thing was eye contact. It’s how you let people know you were listening. It’s how you let them know you were interested. This is partly the reason why Liyla never really made eye contact with anyone. It was the idea of initiating some form of mental dialogue that frightened her. It mortified her even more to express any type of interest in anyone. But her father would insist on eye contact, and would make her look into his eyes when he’d tell her he was proud of her, or when he’d tell her he got a memo from another teacher telling him that she didn’t have any friends and that he was worried. Come to think of it, she wasn’t sure why she lived with her mother instead of her father. Maybe warmth and happiness were very broad, difficult concepts for her.

Despite her growing shame, she caught Eric’s gaze more than three times in the same day, seven the next. When she heard his voice, her heart roiled, and she had never felt that way about anyone, save one boy when she was in junior high. But that was a lost cause because he was three grades above her, and she was invisible. Eric expressed his opinion on… well, Liyla didn’t remember what the topic was about, but she liked his imperative tone when he said it was “nonsense.” It shocked her teacher into becoming cheerfully defensive, and as she started to admonish him with her ideals, he explicitly turned and smiled at Liyla.

Her cover was blown. It was all she thought about.

“Liyla?”

Her eyes popped open. She slowly met Rick’s gaze. His eyes were a hazy mess to him, full of general friendliness and interest.

She smiled unsurely.

“Do you want to eat at Sam’s later?”

“Sure,” Liyla said, still thinking about Shittiquette. “I just need to go home and change, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Rick said.

As they walked home, Liyla thought that maybe she should go online and tell Shittiquette she went to school with him, get it out in the open, maybe give him a couple of genuine comments about his voice, his aura, his looks. Maybe ask him why he shuns his real friends even when they ask him to go places. Maybe ask him if he enjoys studying and going to school, if dating is “nonsense” to him, if the internet is a safe haven or a distraction.

“… so it sounds like a good idea, right?”

Liyla slowly nodded, unsure of what Rick had just said. “Well, if you think it does.”

“It does, but I haven’t quite thought it through yet,” he said, intending to go on another quaint explanation of what the problem might be with whatever solution he had come up with. Though she found it endearing for the most part, it was a very agitating thing, very intrusive when she was in her own thoughts.

Liyla let him into the house, and was happily surprised to see Anthony at home, watching television.

“Anthony! You came home again! And early, too!”

Anthony shot up off the sofa. He was still in his work clothes. “Yeah, mom called and said she needed me to come over. I left work early today. Had a headache.” He turned and saw Rick. “Heya, I’m Liyla’s brother.”

Rick shook his hand—they exchanged that general friendliness, superficial trust and decency established. “Hi, I’m Rick.”

Liyla was glad he didn’t say he was a friend or boyfriend. She didn’t know why other people were so eager to introduce others in that sort of manner; she herself found it a little embarrassing. “Rick and I are going to eat at Sam’s. Would you like to come?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine. It’s good that dinner’s taken care of. Could you just pick me up something to eat?”

Liyla nodded. “I’ll call you and read the menu.” She thought this was also the perfect excuse to keep Rick downstairs while she went online. “I’ll be back down really quick,” she said, almost apologetically, and trotted up the stairs.

Anthony turned to Rick with a manly smirk.

Rick scratched his head. “Your sister is really cool.”

“She is,” Anthony said with a sagely nod.

“You two really look alike.”

“Like our ma,” Anthony said, still smirking.

Upstairs, Liyla flew into her swivel chair and turned on her computer. Her knee bounced up and down while she waited for it to boot up. She kept clicking on the mouse even though she knew that wouldn’t do anything. She then got up and decided to start changing, eyeing the screen every now and then. She shrugged on a sweater and plopped back into her chair, signing on to the internet, listening to the modem. The minute she signed onto the chat client, Shittiquette immediately private messaged her, like he usually did.

“So you’re on. Two nights in a row. I feel blessed.”

For some reason, this meant something new to her. Liyla paused. She didn’t know what to say. No, she should just start off normally. Wait, she didn’t have time to do that. Rick was waiting downstairs. But maybe she didn’t want to just straight out and tell him. Liyla’s knee bounced. She stared at the keyboard, before she began typing: “do you like school”

“School’s what I live for,” he responded.

Okay, good, he didn’t immediately ask “why.” He was usually really inquisitive to know such things. Liyla decided she’d press on a little further: “do you like school more than the internet”

This one took a little while. “They’re two different establishments, Cube.”

“whats your favorite subject”

“I like everything, even stuff that I find to be pure nonsense.”

He used the word “nonsense.” Liyla squealed a little giggle. She was in the middle of typing a response when he asked her if she had a favorite subject.

This one was easy: “people”

“Ah. You’re a people-watcher. Anything about people that interests you?”

“everything”

“My ex girlfriend was also interested in people. The psychological part. She was the type to read into things too much.”

For some reason, the words “girlfriend,” “also,” “psychological,” and “too much” frightened her. It seemed like a channel had been cut off. “oh” was all she typed.

“But you remind me, today in class, one of my teachers was trying to educate us a little on our foreign affairs policy. I almost laughed.”

“i know” Liyla typed impulsively. She only realized she did after she saw it on the screen. She looked at his little icon. Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe it was someone else. But those eyes and that nose were unmistakable. It had to be him.

“?”

“gotta go see you later”

“Bye, Cube.”

Liyla signed off and rushed downstairs. She didn’t realize she was blushing a little.

Anthony and Rick turned to look at her.

She caught her breath.

Rick smiled. “Ready to go?”

She nodded.

“Bye, Liyla. See you later.”

She smiled half-heartedly. “Bye, Anthony.”

She walked with Rick along the wet sidewalk and stepped on soggy leaves. While she was immersed in her thoughts, Rick said he needed to go home to get his wallet because he had forgotten it. She sat on his bed in his room while he fished around underneath sheets upon sheets of music for his wallet.

“It’s gotta be here somewhere.”

Liyla gazed all around his room, familiar with how dark and cool it was, very neat, except for all the music sheets sprawled all over the floors, the drawers, the desk, the bed.

“Sorry, Liyla, I’m having trouble finding it.”

“Nn,” she said, remembering she had homework to do.

He turned to look at her. He smiled.

She raised her eyebrows.

He leaned in, placing a hand on her face as he kissed her.

She was jolted, still caught in curious thoughts about Shittiquette and feeling her physical response to his touch. He was ultra electric today, and his kiss was soft, controlled. Liyla felt good in this new magnetism he had developed. Her shoulders sunk.

Rick tilted his head and gently started to swath his tongue in her mouth. After hearing a soft moan from his girlfriend, he lowered her onto his bed, the springs creaking under tension, sheets crumpling beneath them. They shared a wet warmth, both bundled in Fall wear.

Rick straddled her, gently unzipping her sweater.

All the thoughts flew out of Liyla’s head, as she watched Rick’s mouth and eyes above her, mesmerized. She swallowed. He had unbuttoned her blouse, lowering in to kiss her bra.

It sent abrupt shivers rippling down her arms and legs. She felt his hand trailing down her arm, brush against her side, her hip, flourishing a trail of tingles. He had only begun to smother her with kisses, his hand searching her inner thighs, just grazing her panties, when he wrenched himself away. “Wait. What am I doing?”

“What? What’s going on?” Liyla said with more emotional surprise than she meant to.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I must look like I’m… shit. I swear, I just came her to look for my wallet,” he said dumbly, his mouth hanging open.

“No, I didn’t think anything like what you’re—”

“It doesn’t matter. That was stupid of me. Sorry.” Rick got off her, and the bed sprang up. Liyla scooched herseld against the headboard, propping herself up. Rick paced around. Liyla, in all truth, wouldn’t have minded if he continued doing things to her, but she didn’t want to say so. He turned and looked at her, abruptly walking up to her, buttoning up her blouse for her. She watched him do so.

He ran a hand down her shoulder. “There.” Turning away, he sighed. “My wallet.”

To hide her tiny pings of frustration, Liyla got off the bed and helped him search for it. They found it halfway peeking out from under the bed, next to his wristwatch. They walked to Sam’s in awkward silence. Liyla watched Rick, and noticed that he trained his eye on the beautiful girl at a table close to their booth. She didn’t think he had it in him to be that type of person to stare at a girl. Then again, it excited her a little to know that he might desire this girl a little, and the thought of him cheating on her was surprisingly gratifying. Liyla wondered if fantasizing this way was wrong. She tried not to focus on it. She was about to tell him she had a job, just to spark up conversation, but she wasn’t ready for him to drop by and start visiting her.

They ate in that strange, alluring awkwardness all night, with Liyla following Rick’s eyes to all the pretty girls in the restaurant. Coincidentally, he couldn’t even look into hers.