Me: This is mostly my story although I got a little help from Keterah. Check out her site too. Let me know what you think whether you like it or not.

Nervous Wreck

Joe woke up in his bed after having another nightmare. This was the third straight night he had one, and this one was about clowns. The dream stemmed of a time when he was 9 and he had a bad experience with a clown. His dad had hired a clown for his birthday party, but the clown was some sick person… as he had made a balloon dildo. Later Joe's family found out he was a sexual predator, so Joe hated clowns and began to be a little more careful around people.

He laid back in his bed just when his alarm went off and almost immediately afterward his mother yelled for him to get up. Joe dragged himself out of bed and got dressed, grudgingly completing his morning chores.

When he was finished, Joe went down to breakfast and grabbed some cereal out of the pantry. He didn't care for the flavor much but he started eating it anyway.

"So Joe what are your plans for spring break?" Joe's mother chimed in.

"Spring break?" replied Joe sleepily, "Hadn't thought about it yet."

Joe had almost forgotten about spring break coming next week. He went back to his room and looked for his calendar to see if he had plans for next week. He had to blow dust off of it since it was buried under other junk from his room. There was nothing on it. Guess I have some free time… Joe thought. He suddenly looked up at his alarm clock, realizing he was late for school.

----

Joe walked into his high school, which was in dire need of repair. Just last month a family of mice was discovered in the girl’s locker room, and now some girls are afraid to go back in there.

Joe was on his way to his first period class when his two best friends, Bill and John, caught up to him. Joe met them both when they were all only ten years old. Bill had broken Joe's leg in Gym class on purpose, but Joe forgave him and they became best friends almost overnight…except it was later that day. John was already Bill's friend so they all became best friends.

"So you ready for the English test?" Bill asked.

"Me not sure…" said Joe, laughing.

"I didn't bother, my mind is already on spring break." John joked, who was the slacker of the group.

The three of them went into their English class. Mr. Williams, the teacher, was a middle aged man with a mustache. He had divorced two times and claimed the third time would be a charm. Rumors were spread around school that he had killed them but he confessed that he had only tried to kill one of them, but the police got to him first. Mr. Williams had this thing, where he would put his pencil down on his desk which meant he was about to talk, and all the kids should shut up.

He put his pencil down on his desk. "This test is all multiple answer questions, except the true or false questions. They are true or false questions. Any other questions?" Mr. Williams said, talking in his usual confusing matter. Bill raised his hand.

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Sorry, you didn't ask in a form of a multiple answer question, so the answer is no." Mr. Williams then told everyone to start writing. “And when my watch goes off, you will need to turn in your tests”

Everybody started writing, but Mr. Williams's watch went off immediately. Everyone looked up at him, glaring.

"Just kidding" said Mr. Williams with a smile on his face. "You have 45 minutes."

---

Joe was going through his locker later in the day when a cute looking girl with red hair, and eyes bluer then when Joe had held his breath for five minutes when he was seven, walked up to him.

"How did you do on the test?" Asked the girl.

Joe looked around, confused. "Are you talking to me?"

Of course there was no one else around, making Joe feel embarrassed almost immediately.

"Oh. I guess we'll see…" Said Joe nervously. Suddenly Bill and John came up.

"Hey Sarah, how are you?" said Bill.

"Still dating that loser Nathan?" Asked John.

“Yes.” Sarah replied defensively.

"What do you see in him anyway?" said Bill.

"He knows how to treat a girl." Sarah said smartly, and she started off.

"Joe…” Bill said as they watched her retreating back. “Stay away from girls like that. They're just liars, because they may say they like a guy for being nice to them, but it’s really how good they are in bed."

---

Joe came back home to see a police car in the driveway. This was the third time this month, and Joe suspected why. He went inside and saw a policeman standing with his parents.

"Don't tell me.." Joe said, walking past his parents to sit in a chair, avoiding their gazes.

"Sorry Joe…our sex was too loud last night again and the neighbors complained." Joe's Dad said with a look of concern.

The police man added, “Actually you set the fire alarm off at the school, and that’s how we found out."

"I guess it was really hot sex." Joe's dad laughed, and Joe glowered. They had been doing this for years and it was really beginning to disturb him. He just walked up to his room, attempting to work on his math homework, but then when he saw a ‘1’ and ‘3’. He pictured the ‘1’ moving into an upside down ‘3’, and realized what was on his mind and closed his book, going to watch TV.

---

Joe's Mother caught him watching TV and yelled for him to get back to his work. Joe sighed and went back to his room, trying to concentrate on his homework. It took him all night to get the assignment done, but he was confident he did it right. He went into school the next day with a big smile.

Bill caught him, asking, "Wow, you look happy. Did you get laid last night?"

"No" Joe said. "It took me all night and I had to take some pills to stay awake but I did my homework." He stated with pride.

He handed in his homework, but Mr. Jerque, the math teacher, gave him a zero because it wasn't on loose leaf paper.

"What the hell is this about?" complained Joe.

"Joe we don't use that language in this classroom" said Mr. Jerque.

"Sorry…but why did you give me a zero?" asked Joe.

"What did I say about that language?" said Mr. Jerque as Joe’s eye narrowed in frustration.

"Fine, I'll just sit back down on my seat." said Joe.

"That's it! Report directly to the Principal's office!" demanded Mr. Jerque.

---

Joe went to the Principal's office fuming over what had happened. He told the Principal what happened, but he wasn't listening.

"Why aren't you listening to me?" asked Joe as his face was getting redder.

"You just don't get it do you?" said Principal Allen.

"Get what?" asked Joe.

Later Joe told Bill and John that he has detention until he starts kissing principal Allen's ass.

“Haha!” Laughs John, gripping his sides as his fit of laughter worsens.

“Hey Joe, I think you should spring break with us, you know, take your mind off of your final days here at this hellhole.” Bill offers, slapping Joe on the shoulder. Joe rubbed it immediately afterwards, panic rising in his stomach as thoughts of a vacation alone with his two insane friends popped into his mind.

“I’ll think about it.”

--

Joe tells his parents about the planned trip and they seem excited about the prospect of being alone for a week. They encourage Joe to go and remind him about how much fun he had last time in Florida.

He was nine he and his parents went to Florida for spring break. He was playing in the waves with his dad when Joe thought he saw a shark and his dad ran off screaming like a girl, leaving Joe by himself in the water.

Later that night Joe's dad made Joe watch Jaws to help calm his fears, but then he realized maybe it wasn't the best movie to show. Joe's parents tell him to have some fun with his friends.

---

At Lunch the next day Joe tells Bill and John that he’s going with them.

"Great! We are going to get you laid!" said Bill right off the bat.

"Guys I just wanna go and hit the waves and have some real fun…" said Joe.

"That doesn't sound like much fun" said John.

"Hope you don't mind if two of our friends that I met recently come with us…" said Bill.

"Do I know them?" asked Joe, causing both Bill and John to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

Bill and John continued laughing. "Trust me, you don't know them.." said Bill, continuing to laugh.

---

In social studies class Joe is watching a film on the beaches in Florida. On the film some guy with a wooden leg is talking about recent shark attacks in the area.

"Yeah I lost old leggy out there the other day. We can't seem to get rid of them so we decided to feed the sharks some ditzy teenagers." Said the wooden legged man, pointing to two teenage girls with blindfold walking out on a deck.

"This is like such a cool sex game." Says one ditzy teenager.

The man pushing them tells them just a little more and pushes them off the deck into the ocean.

"See we told you ladies we get you wet." Says the man.

"When can we start having, you know, sex?" Asked the other ditzy girl.

Suddenly one of the girls goes under the water and blood flows in the water.

"Well I guess I have you all to myself…" Say the other, just as she disappears under the water spelling the end for her. The film ends. This film doesn't exactly help Joe out.

"Now who wants to see the alternate version where the girls have sex with the shark?" said the social studies teacher with excitement.

---

Joe is packing his bags for the trip when his mother comes in the room.

"I'm so proud of you going on a trip without us," said Joe's mom.

"Why?" asked Joe.

"I'm your mom, I'm supposed to say stupid stuff like that." said Joe's mom with a smile on her face.

Joe continued packing his bags when his dad came in with a T-Back for Joe to

wear. Joe looked at him with disgust. Suddenly they heard a car horn from outside.

"Get your ass down here!" yelled Bill so loud the whole neighborhood could hear even the deaf woman living down the street.

Joe kissed and hugged his parents goodbye and told them he would call every night and ran out to Bill's car and got in. Bill had some very loud music blaring, causing the old neighbors across the street to holler at them. They took off real fast down the street.

---

They got to John's house and John brought his bags out including one that said condoms. Joe looked worried.

"What are those condoms for?" he said.

"What do you think? said John.

"Don't worry Joe, we only brought enough for two." said Bill with a laugh.

They took off down the street again.

"So where are these two people you talked about going to be picked up at?" asked Joe.

"At work" replied Bill.

They drove until they got to a strip club.

"Why are we stopping here? asked Joe.

"This is where they work" said John.

All of a sudden two sleazy looking women in their early 20's come out of the club smoking cigarettes.

Joe realizes what kind of trip this is going to be.