Chapter 2

The two sleazy girls walk up to the car. "Are you lost?" asked Joe hoping it wasn't what it looked like. "Nope" said the ugliest one who he found out was Michelle. Nope thought Joe realizing what he got himself into. Bill told the girls to get in the back with Joe who thought there was no room but it didn't matter as they squeezed in and Joe's face was pressed against the window thanks to them. They had plenty of cigarettes. Finally they got into a position where Joe wasn't so cramped up in the back.

Bill drove to a gas station. While he was getting gas the other girl Rachel complained about her make-up coming off although you couldn't tell because it was so bad.

Suddenly her cell phone rang and her dad was on the other line. "Hi Dad. Yeah I had sex with five guys last night. I know six was the goal but the sixth one was married." She said with a look of satisfaction on her face. Meanwhile Joe had the opposite look as he realized that he should have stayed home and did nothing like he usually did. Bill didn't really make him feel reassured either. "Don't worry she usually has sex with more guys than that." Bill said and then patted Joe in the shoulder. They got some snacks and the girls had gotten more cigarettes at the gas station and were satisfied with what they got and they took off.

Joe tried telling Michelle and Rachel they should try cutting back on smoking. "You sound like my Mother" commented Michelle. "Sorry but that's just my opinion" said Joe quickly hoping to end the conversation. "She died of lung cancer" said Michelle who began to cry. "Sorry I brought it up" said Joe who quickly put on his IPod. Rachel started smoking more annoying Joe further.

Joe's stomach was rumbling so loudly that everybody could hear it. "Hey guys do you think we can stop somewhere to eat? I'm kind of hungry" said Joe even though everybody else already knew. "Yeah we can tell" responded Bill. Of course they were out in the middle of nowhere and drove a few more miles until a small little restaurant came up over the horizon. "Hey that looks like a nice place" commented Michelle while blowing a puff of smoke. They drove up to the parking lot and Joe noticed that the place was named Slutty's. "Actually I'm not hungry anymore." said Joe with a look of disgust on his face. "Nonsense you were just hungry a few minutes ago" said John. "Well I lost my appetite. I think I'll just chew on my arm" said Joe. "Well everyone else in here is hungry so we'll stop here" said Bill as he pulled up into the driveway. Joe slowly walked in expecting the worse but was surprised to see a nice looking place. "Maybe this isn't so bad" said Joe. They walked over to the table and sit down. They have very good looking food including steak and hamburgers. Joe is looking at the menu and says to tell the waitress to hold on for a minute cause he needs to go to the bathroom.

He asks where the bathroom is and walks in there. He notices a camera in the bathroom and it follows him wherever he goes so he goes into the stall. He sits down when suddenly a camera moves in from above the stall and looks down at him. Joe covers himself up and doesn't feel very comfortable with the camera looking at him. "Do you mind?" said Joe in a calm matter hoping it would get the message. "No, I don't mind at all" said the camera in a computerized voice. "I'm trying to pee here" said Joe in a little more aggressive matter. "Don't worry about me I'm just here to make sure you aren't smoking in the bathrooms" the camera said. "Don't worry about me" said Joe. "Go ahead I've seen it before" said the camera. "Um, ok" said Joe giving in. While he was going to the bathroom the camera was trying to start a conversation with him and Joe told him to shut up. Joe walks out of the stall and the camera notices something. "Hey your fly is open" the camera said. "Would you not look down there" said Joe getting really angry now. "Sorry, how come you went in the stall and only peed. That doesn't make any sense." said the camera as Joe told it to shut up. "Looks like somebody walked into the girl’s bathroom so I've got to go. Nice meeting you" said the camera disappearing into the wall as Joe walked out of the door not quite understanding what that was all about.

Joe walked back into his seat and the waitress came up to them and said the specials were the slutty delight and Michelle and Rachel jumped on that and ordered it. Joe not even wanting to know what the slutty delight is ordered spaghetti. The waitress asked if he wanted soup or salad. Joe said salad. The waitress wondered if he wanted her to toss his salad and Joe said fine. She went to take his pants off and Joe stopped her. "What the hell are you doing?" demanded Joe. "You wanted me to toss your salad" said the waitress in a seductive matter. "No I just want some food- so- I'll just have soup." said Joe as the waitress told him he was no fun. Bill and John commented that they wished she had asked them if they wanted soup or salad. They bring the food out but the waitress has nothing. "Where's the food" rightly asked Joe. Suddenly a naked woman with food all over her body came over. "Wow you don't even need a plate" said Bill with excitement. "Who ordered the spaghetti" said another waitress and Bill told her it was Joe and another naked woman with spaghetti and meatballs on her body came out. "If you want more sauce you'll have to come and get it" said the woman. Joe told everyone else they can have his food. He just drank his water. As they were leaving Bill tipped the waitress by putting dollar bills in her pants. "That was fun" said Bill as they got in the car and left.

Joe is now driving. "Hey why are you only going 57 the speed limit is 55" said Bill. "I don't want to get a ticket" said Joe. "Come on you can drive 60 it won't kill you" said Bill as everyone else is laughing. Joe has a fantasy where he is driving in a 55 speed limit and he decides to go 60 to get to Florida faster. Suddenly he hears police sirens. Bill and John urge him to step on it but Joe pulls over and everyone groans. The Policeman walks up to Joe. "Going a little fast aren't you? said the policeman with a look of disgust that showed Joe he was being serious. "Actually no I was going 60 in a 55" laughed Joe. "Shut up" said the policeman and he proceeds to write him a ticket and warns him to not show his face in this state again. "What state are we in?" said Joe with a look of concern. "Bad news for you is that you stopped right on the state line between Pennsylvania and West Virginia" said the Policeman with a smile. Joe realizes he stopped fight next to the welcome to West Virginia and the don't leave Pennsylvania sign. The Policeman takes off in his car leaving Joe and the gang behind when suddenly for no reason their car blows up and they all die "Bill, I think I will stay the course" said Joe slumping down in his seat to get himself more comfortable.

Later in the day Joe is still driving when Bill's cell phone goes off and he starts talking on the phone. Bill was talking on his phone "Yeah Josh, Joe is being kind of a dick but it’s all right." "Hey" replied Joe. "Excuse me, (putting the phone to his shoulder) what did you say" said Bill. "Nothing" said Joe deciding not to make a scene. John's cell phone goes off and he starts talking and then Michelle and Rachel's go off with each ringtone getting more loud and annoying. Joe was getting driven insane when he noticed cars driving by with people talking on their cell phones including one who swerves into a ditch but continues talking on his phone anyway even after he crashes. Joe then notices kids talking on their phones and a baby talking on a fake phone. He then passes a telephone pole and then a man operating on the telephone poles talking on a phone. He drives by a cell tower and really wants to just ram the car into it but he composes himself and drives on.

Bill notifies Joe that it’s his turn to drive again. Joe is excited to sit in the passenger seat and get some sleep. John isn't willing to move out of his passenger seat and motions Joe to sit in the back. He looks back there to see Rachel and Michelle to see them smoking like a burning house and snoring louder then a chainsaw with smoke coming out of their nose. Joe gets some smoke blown in his face.

Later on they passed a sign saying 20 miles to Hershey, Pennsylvania. "Hey we should go to Hershey" said Joe thinking there was an opportunity to get out of the smoke filled car. "Why?" asked Bill looking back at Joe even though he was driving. He turned around and went back to his side of the road. "Well they have a Hershey's chocolate factory there and we could take a tour" said Joe convinced that they would do something he would enjoy. "Really, they have Hershey in Hershey" replied John. Rachel and Michelle didn't seem to like the idea. John thought about something and said "maybe we should go to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. What do you think, Joe?" Joe just leaned back in his seat and told them to forget the idea. "They must have some kind of sex factory there. They probably get laid 24/7" John seemed to like the idea as he was saying this. Joe finally stood up and said something "why don't we just keep going to Florida." "Yeah you know what why watch sex when we can experience it for ourselves. Am I right?" as he says this he looks at Bill driving who gives a thumbs up then he looks at Joe who just sighs and finally he looks at Michelle and Rachel who instead of a thumbs up give a shirts up flashing their boobs for approval. Joe just sits back and tries telling himself he will get through this.