Author: Pinkamoo PM
I am sweet. I am innocent. I never get in trouble. I haven't just met an arrogant pervert who I want to castrate. I am lying.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 49,331 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 10-26-07 - Published: 05-17-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2362939
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Over in the corner is the computer, where a fly sits on the keyboard clasping um, it's legs together (legs?) as it looks on at one of the keys greedily, as if it's about to eat it. Which is stupid, because flies don't eat keys, well, as far as I know of.
In the other corner lies an evil demon child in a cot who likes to poop in it's nappy and cry a lot. Do not ask me how it got there, all I want to know is: can I take it back?
I looked back to all those years ago-well, not that many years ago-when I realised I had fallen in love with the biggest pervert I had ever met. Of course, I mightn't have realised if Trinity had not taken action-though that kiss was totally unnecessary.
She had just laughed when I told her this however and said not to worry about things-Remington-that she could never take away from me. Whatever.
The schools reaction had been amusing, well not so much the school as the female population of it that were very indignant at having an illegible bachelor being taken away. Doris was overjoyed though, she gave us a mega huge platter of cake-which Kelly, Remington and I scarfed down right in front of every one. I mean, we were totally all 'Suck it in, we take the cake! Literally!'
Kelly's response when she found out before the funeral was ahem, rather crude: Um, God, how long did you losers take to figure it out? I mean, why don't you just get it over and done with and screw each other already.
But you know what is better than nice? Alex got a boyfriend, or well, he's her fiancé now.
I'm totally serious; can you guess who it is? The guy who set her Malibu Barbie on fire. Something about bumping into him on a bus and having a big fight which involved her hitting him over the head with her handbag and a whole lot of YOU's.
They ended up making out at the back of the bus. Seriously, don't even ask, I have no idea what caused this sudden turn of events. Well, it maybe had something to do with they both thought the other had gotten hot over the length they hadn't seen each other, but seriously, there had to be more reason than that.
Oh. My. God.
Did I mention I was also standing in the corner where the Child was? Well, now I have. Oh, and It just puked on me.
"EVIL LITTLE DEMON CHILD!" I hissed at It pulling a face. Really, don't feed babies anything, it'll just come straight back out in places you don't want it to.
"Aw, Reese, she's only a baby," Remington came up behind and slid his hands underneath my t-shirt to pat my belly "Our baby."
"Yeah, spawn of Satan more like it; she did come from you," I muttered pointing at It "Did you see what she did? She puked on me."
"She gave you a gift!" he said tickling It, he then shot me a look of annoyance "And would you stop calling her It, her name is Evangeline."
I still haven't fixed that thinking out loud thing.
"Oh yeah of course you take her side," I frowned down at Eva who cooed back at me cutely, stupid baby "She's conspiring against me I swear, her and all those little baby friends of hers."
"Reese," Remington laughed "She's only a month old."
I looked down at Eva, who really was the cutest baby I had ever seen. She had these big wide pretty baby eyes and a grin that could melt ice.
"She has your eyes, see!" he pointed at Eva and I shook my head like he was insane.
"No, they're yours," I corrected him picking up Eva to make strange faces at her, to which she giggled at "Yours are prettier than mine."
Remington nuzzled my neck and kissed my cheek "No, Reese honey, you're the prettiest thing in the world."
"Look what you did Eva, lookie!" I showed Eva the puke mark on my jeans and she gurgled in response, I looked back to Remington doubtfully "Prettier than Christmas lights?"
"Prettier than Christmas lights." He chuckled and kissed my ear "But honey,"
He shook his head at me and laughed.
"What?" I inquired with a pout, what was he 'honeying' about?
"You're so much trouble," he grinned pressing his face into my neck "Last Christmas, you lit the tree on fire with the fruit cake you made, we had to go get another."
"Hey! That was so not my fault, how was I to know you don't cook Christmas cake in a frying pan?" I demanded but he just ploughed on.
"Oh really," he pecked my lips and poked me cheekily "Last Easter you tried hiding Easter Eggs on me and it turned out they were swinging from a basket on the ceiling above my head, I didn't realise until it landed."
I snorted in indignation, I mean, that was a funny prank, and you should have seen the look on his face.
"And on thanksgiving," tears of laughter were dribbling down his cheeks now "You s-stuffed the turkey w-with polyester!"
How was I to know it meant herbs and all that other crap and not the stuff you fill teddy bears with? Honestly.
"So what if I'm trouble?" I demanded, glowering at him and crossing my arms over my chest "If you have a problem with it I'll just-"
"No, not in a million years," he laughed into my hair and kissed my neck "I wouldn't have you any other way Honey."
He lifted his head to whisper in my ear "I love you more than I could love any other in the world, you may be trouble...but you're my Trouble."
I'd like to thank all of you who reviewed; I love you guys so much. And I am thanking you muchly, because I might never have finished it if it weren't for you guys. You mean a lot to me, seriously.
So I hope I got across to you how much I loved writing this story and how much I'll miss it dearly, it's like a friend moving away or something. I will miss it, but I can always visit.
But now, we're right onto Dawn Beaumont, and I might get to write that chapter tonight.
From I love you peoples so much,
Ps. On the news, there was this report on MADE IN CHINA! Can you believe it? Well, there was! I think I missed it though; either that or it's on a coming news show, whatever. IT IS SO WEIRD! THE DOCUMENT EDITING SCREEN IS SO LITTLE! 0.o Well, ok, it just changed on me. But it was LITTLE people.