“EYEEEE A BEN WA BUMBUM BA BUM BUM BM BAAAAA.” My best friend was standing on my couch, attempting to screech out lyrics from “The Lion King”. However, she was doing it quite badly and her screaming had woken me from a deep sleep and I was mad, to put it simply. I’d told her hundreds of times to either sing that song correctly or not sing it at all and I supposed she hadn’t listened to a word that I’d said. Skank.

I climbed out of bed, shivering as the cold air hit me. Had I worn pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt to bed? No, I hadn’t as I tended to stick with the same pajamas all year long: short shorts and a tank top. I snatched a blanket off my bed and re-did my hair which was dyed teal and black into a pony tail before stalking down the hall to yell at my friend. “BUMBUMBUMBUM PINK PAJAMA BOTTOMS. BUMBUMBUMBUMPINKPAJAMA BOTTOMS!” That was her favorite part of the entire movie and she was quite enthusiastic when it came on. At the moment, she was bouncing on my couch like a crazed, overly hyper five year old. My couch was making dangerous creaking noises and finally, I had had enough.

“STOP IT, ASHLIN.” Ashlin paused and quit jumping as she turned around to face me. She was dressed perfectly for the day with a pair of skinnies and some Metallica tee accessorized with lots of chunky jewelry. Her own hair, which had been pink and black, was now bleach blonde with a coon tail. I knew I’d never be able to pull off her hair. I never WAS able to pull off her hair. Her make up was flawless with dark eyes and red lips and skin so clear, with so much makeup, it almost looked plastic.

I hated her beauty.

“I see you finally woke up, Liv,” Ashlin stated with a little smirk. “Have I got news for YOU.” I sighed, glaring at her with intensity. “Guess who got signed to model for Skull N X?” I hated the way she drug out the sentence. I hadn’t even known she’d applied for modeling there. That’s where I’d wanted to model and I’d told her that.

“Who, Ash?”

“Me!” I must have looked crestfallen, because she quickly added, “Hey, its ok. I heard they’ll be looking for another one soon. You’d be perfect.” I’d be perfect? If I’d been perfect, I would have been chosen over Ashlin. “I’m sorry I barged in and woke you up, but I was so excited. Like, you have no idea!” Ashlin went off on a rant until the chords of an Aiden song cut her off and made her answer her cell. When her call finished, she looked at me with an apologetic look. “I have to go, Liv. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” Ashlin didn’t wait for my reply and simply flitted out of my apartment, leaving me standing by my couch, freezing and wrapped in a blanket, feeling worse than I’d ever felt before.

---

“Who’s that, Liv?” My boyfriend Tommy and I were at a party and he’d caught sight of Ashlin. I knew he had. I turned my gaze to the girl he’d indicated and indeed, it was my bleach blonde best friend wearing…wearing the exact same dress I was wearing. I knew I looked good in the dress. Ashlin looked better. It was a short, black thing that ended right above the knee with a flowing skirt and a fitting bodice. I could see why Tommy was infatuated.

“No one, Tommy. Ignore her.” It was the best I could offer at the moment and I folded my arms across my chest, frowning at him in a ‘don’t even dare’ way. I don’t think he got the message. The party was pretty fun, even though I knew Ashlin saw me and she didn’t come over to talk. It was fun even though Tommy wasn’t looking at me any more. I managed to make it fun, even though my boyfriend disappeared half way through, leaving me with a bunch of strangers. I ended up making some new friends and I’d connected with one in particular.

It was a boy who was tall and thin, with dark hair with that bleach blonde color I’d come to hate. He was nice though and he seemed to have a smile for everything I’d said. I liked him, but not in that way. If my suspicions were correct about Tommy’s disappearance, I highly doubted I’d be dating any one for a while.

The boy’s name ended up being Cale and I ended up sticking by him the rest of the evening.

Before the end, though, I’d heard Cale question where Ashlin was and I immediately asked him why. Why he would care so much over a slut. “I’m her date.” He stated, simply. I was about to say that I wouldn’t be wanting to meet him anywhere that week just to hang out, when he spoke again. “Your date’s gone too, isn’t he? God damnit. You need a ride home?” The words were spoken, simply, and I found myself agreeing.

In the car, I’d revealed that I was Ashlin’s best friend. I felt over shadowed by her once again. I don’t think that’s how best friends are supposed to work; you feeling stupid admitting you’re their friend. Cale didn’t seem to care though, he just stated Ashlin had a good taste in friends, even if she was a bitch.

I found myself blushing, thankful the car was dark.

At home, I thanked him for the ride, promised I’d IM him sometime and went inside. Oh, I was pissed about Ashlin and Tommy. That bitch was stealing everything I had, from my dress, to my boyfriend…soon she’d have my life. It was at this moment, when I hoped she’d die a painful, brutal death.

But you aren’t supposed to wish that on your very best friend.

---

I haven’t spoken to Ashlin in five months and I’m not sorry about it. I hear enough about her on Buzznet and Myspace; she’s a scene queen and is almost as famous as Jeffree Star, which isn’t something I exactly aspire to be. I’m popular too, but I’m known as Ashlin’s friend. I could care less about Myspace; I’m more worried about where I’m going to get a job, who I’m going to date, food and the clothes I’ll wear.

I’m surprised to get a phone call, telling me to go to the hospital. Ashlin’s been in a terrible crash and is asking for me. What am I supposed to do? I hate her; this is what I’ve been wanting. I’ve wanted Ashlin to die so I can have my life back. “It’s amazing Ashlin’s even alive, Liv. Tommy was killed on impact.”

I don’t care about Tommy. I don’t want to hear about Tommy. I hate that bastard. I decide to go to the hospital to be the “loving” friend I really am. However, I learn that I’d been too late and Ashlin died. I’m supposed to start crying when I hear this, I know I am, but I can’t. I just stand in front of the doctor and thank him for telling me.

Thank God, she’s dead.

I can have my life back and do whatever I want without Ashlin copying it or doing it better. I can keep a boyfriend now with out him straying to Ashlin because she’s prettier than I am.

As I think of this, I realize that I’m almost as bad as her. Jealousy really did consume me, didn’t it? I don’t care because she’s gone. However, the guilt starts to claw at my insides. I’d known her since we were children; why should I be happy over her death?

Because she’s gone and I can have everything MY way.

---

Her funeral had a lot of people. I don’t even know half of them and I honestly don’t care. The only person I’ll willingly be by is Cale, who keeps a protective arm around me at all times. Ashlin would have been mad when she saw this; Cale likes me, not her. For I moment, I swear I see her glaring at me through the crowd and I can hear her say, “Just watch me, Liv! I’ll get him.”

But no one is there.

I don’t shed a tear through the service. Instead, I sit there and contradict the minister’s every word about Ashlin. If he said she was a lovely girl, I would mutter that she was a selfish slut who couldn’t get enough. If he said she loved her friends, I’d mutter that she only loved those who she could steal from. No body hears me and I feel better.

At the grave side, when everyone was gone except for me and Cale, I told him to go ahead and I’d be there in a few minutes. I stood at the foot of Ashlin’s grave and frowned. “Serves you right.” I said, brushing a loose strand of black hair from my face. I’d given up on my hair months ago and dyed it all black. “You stole from me and you didn’t care. I hope you’re burning in hell; how could you call me your friend? You selfish whore.”

I walked away after my little speech, head high and posture confident. Hatred had consumed me, but I didn’t care. I would topple her cult standing like the wind topples a house of cards and they’d all come to me. I’d make my own way and erase all memory of Ashlin Rhodes.

I’d make my way and I’d be her. I’d live her dream and steal her boys. I’d wear her clothes and eat her food. I’d morph into her.

But, I realize, that makes me just like her and that hatred towards her had to have been me. It must have been me.

I must have killed my best friend.

A/N: ewewewthe ending. I hate the ending, I really do. I love the concept of the story though, just hate the ending, after the party. If any of you know how to fix it, please tell me so I can re-write it. And review! I really want to know what you all thought of it! so yeah. DO IT. hahaha.