Dear ...,

Long time no hear, huh. Ever since you moved to Australia, I haven’t really you know, um talked to you. I think my last msn conversation with you was hmm, about three months ago. Not that I’m being stalkerish or anything. Unless you manage to hack (yes and I know you can because you’ve done some hacking before as a twelve year old) into my computer and find some of those saved conversations that I’ve kept. Not like you’d want to anyway. Besides, you totally ignored me when I last saw you at that piano recital, even though you complimented my playing for it afterward. Okay, yes, I was flattered like hell, but still…it would have been nice for you to go up to me and say hello. Manners and all that. It’s not like we’re enemies or anything like we were when we were little kids.

That’s right. You bullied me when we were both little eight year olds and I hated your guts back then. I thought you were the most egotistical asshole that I ever had the misfortune to know. You would always brag about you latest achievements and how your teacher had to give you ‘advanced work’. Then we would engage in a heated bragging match, which you would inevitably win because God somehow endowed you with the brains of Einstein and the musical ability of Mozart. You would mock me about my sewing (my total and utter love for it as an eight year old). When I was forced to be in your team for a game, I believe I ran to the bathroom and cried. I was that unhappy about working with you. Even so, we got on well at times. We jointly decided to feed tomato sauce mixed with copious amounts of pepper and salt to your little sister, we played games together when there was those boring meetings parents had the habit of having and we were the only kids there (haha, remember your caveman story? I actually believed that there were cavemen living under the foundations of the building for awhile). We played soccer together and decided as two little smart asses, that we should put the goal in the direction of the wind because then we would have the added advantage of the wind blowing the ball into our goal. Like it actually did work, but hey, it seemed like a damn good idea at the time.

Then we grew up and because you were nice enough, you gave me advice for my piano exam so I wouldn’t get so freaked out. You taught me how to play badminton (hell yeah, A team this year). Ha, you had the utmost patience with me and I’m sure that you would have rather been playing a much more entertaining game than teaching little old me. So thanks for that. Then puberty hit. That was bad. I grew pimples and you had braces, which had me in utter hysterics for awhile because you looked so damn funny. We didn’t talk. Correction: we ignored each other. Actually, I glared at you when you weren’t looking my way. Then I discovered msn. And that boys didn’t have germs anymore. Something strange clicked and I finally admitted it. I actually had a crush. On you, to be precise. You probably don’t know this, but I waited for you to appear online everyday. Usually, I would have to initiate the conservation. Then, I figured that you actually didn’t like me back that way. Took me awhile, but I decided to stop stalking you. I spent so long trying to go through one day without thinking of you. It was worse when I saw your picture in the newspaper for some piano competition and chemistry award. I think I spent a total of ten minutes just staring at the picture. Then all of sudden, you instant messaged me. Telling me to go to uncyclopedia. At first, I was like “What the hell?”, but I think I’ll take this opportunity to tell you that you write satire quite well. It had me in stitches for the afternoon. After that, you instant messaged me again and we had a good old debate. You type too damn fast and didn’t allow me to rebut. You must have thought I was a complete retard. I did have arguments, honest! They just kind of, left my mind…

I hoped all that time that you liked me back. I still do. I linger about your webpage, looking at your pictures and wishing that I had the guts to write a greeting. But I’ve been burnt once and I don’t want it to happen again. I was going to tell you that I liked you before you went to Australia for university, but I figured, why ostracise myself further? I didn’t want you to completely ignore for the rest of my life. So yeah, I’m just sitting here, wishing that I had the courage to push the send button and send this damn email to you even though you have a girlfriend. A case of the green eyed monster, I know, but it’s not the first time. Did you know how much it hurt when you asked one of my friends to go to the ball with you? There was no way I was going to mope about, so I simply avoided you. But the truth is, you’re pretty much irresistible to me.

Love, (well, I'm not going to write yours sincerely, right?)

Yours (in hindsight, well, I'd like to be yours).