To Every Boy Who Has Broken My Heart,

I came to you, perhaps in a time of happiness, or a time of sadness. You each provided comfort, warmth, something that got me addicted and you were the drug. Once I stepped off the platform, I couldn't come back, I didn't know how. And while all of your stories start out differently, you all end the same. My heart's always broken, and you walk away intact, and I hate it.

I'd put your name next to your story, but for the sake of anonimity I do not, since someday I want this to be published. This is, indeed, written by a girl, drunk on the pain of her own breaking heart, and even without the names I bet you know who you are.

1. You were the first, but certainly not the last. I pined after you, day after day, and you didn't see me. You never saw me. What, am I freaking invisible to every guy? I know I was a freak, but the least you could have done was give me the time of day. When I gathered up my courage to try to talk to you, did you always have to shoot me down? I liked you dammit, and you liked her. You left the first scar. And yeah, it hurt.

2. You were the second, and for forever I thought you'd cut the deepest. You weren't a bad guy, and you didn't know. I didn't expect to fall in love with you. You were always too silly, too tall, too damn close to be out of my reach. I fell for you so goddamn fast that I didn't even know I was falling. You were smart and funny and your words stirred something inside me that hadn't been touched before. You were that thing that was missing, and I was addicted. So, so, addicted. So I chased it. Made it obvious. I wanted the world to know. But you were oblivious. Maybe you didn't want to believe. Because you were so fucking in love with her that you didn't want to believe that your best friend, your little stalker was falling in love with you. I loved you, even with all your fucking faults, and I gave everything until I suddenly had nothing left. And when you decided to slowdance with one of my best friends, I lost it. The pills were close, but my sanity was closer. Somehow I hung on, and met someone else. But it's not like I forgot you. You've managed to fuck up every relationship that I've ever been in. Because I hate myself because of you. And I can't trust a guy because I trusted you and you failed me. And now, I can't forget. The damage has been done. These scars are on the inside. Fuck you.

3. You were the third, and the biggest mistake. What did I see in you? Someone new, something different. Nice hair and no personality. You weren't like the other guy. Why, because you didn't care about fucking anything. Well, fucking maybe, but nothing. Your smile was incredible, but you hung out with dipshits who tormented me. Couldn't you see that I was hurting enough. And you danced with her. She's fat and she's ugly and she's a complete and utter bitch. I hated her not just because she had you, but because she made my life hell as well. How could you like someone like that? She's digusting, and you idolized her. I was always there and you didn't give me the time of day. I'm really that fucking repulsive, aren't I? And now, you barely remember as anything other than that freaky girl who sat next to you in Physical Science. Thank you very fucking much.

4. Oh hell, you know what I'm going to say to you. How fucking could you? First, you throw the bait at me. Tease me with an invite to a dance I can't go to when you know that I'm still liking my wounds from a relationship that fucked over. Because I didn't already have enough shit on my plate. You had to make me fall for you. And then, you hooked up with the same girl you had broken up with less than a month before. Are you trying to fuck with my mind? It worked, you fucking piece of shit. And of course, you rubbed it in my face. Couldn't you see I had so much to deal with? Seriously. And you talk to me when it's convinent to you. And then you went and cheated on her. You bastard! Is it really that difficult to be with a girl and not completely fuck up. One girl is never enough, and nor is two, I see. And still, you talk to me like it's nothing. Like every move you make doesn't make you a fuck-up. And only when you see fit. To make your friends impressed, when girls aren't around. The great stud can't talk to a girl in front of an audience. Ah, you make a shitty lady's man. And I'm not over you like I wish I was. Fuck you. Fuck you very, very much.

5. And you are the worst of them all. Because you made me fall. Really fall. I didn't think I could feel like this again, but I can, I guess. Because I fell for the damn hook, line and sinker, and now I have to play second fiddle to her. Because it was always her. It's always someone else. You've never really been mine. Thanks for the mind games, because you of all people know how much I just adore them. Maybe I'm a freaking e-tease because I won't cyberfuck your pathetic and gorgeous ass, but you are worse. Can't you just not affect me? Or at least be meaner about the whole girlfriend thing. Because the fact that you are so fucking nice about this makes it so much harder to hate your guts. But I can't. Because you've got my fucking heart. Oh great, this sounds so typical. Can't you see how fucked up I am already? You complete me, but you won't allow it. You are so damn close and yet I can't get you and frustrates me and pisses me off and I can't deal with this anymore because, hell, I don't know how anymore. Because you like her now. Because you fucking went to prom with her. Is this your little pratical joke on me? The perfect guy for me is just an ass who has the capablity to screw with my mind and have feelings for every other girl on the planet. What does she have that I don't? I want to know. Because I deserve to know. I have the right to know where I stand. Because I don't have a fucking clue anymore. Because you're so nice and you're so funny and you're so fucking taken right now. Maybe I never had a chance. But the least you could have done was told me. Not forced me to fall for you. You wanted me to fall for you. You've admitted it. That's why I hate you. And on the flip side, why I am insanely, wonderfully in love with you. And it pisses me off, but I'll admit it. Fuck you.

So fuck you all. Because of you, I'm a mess. I'm a mess, and I know it. So thanks. It's been great. Fuck you.

Sincerely,

Sara

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Okay, I want honest feedback on this.

I do not want grammatical concrit on this piece.

This is riddled with grammatical errors. Yes, I am fully aware of this. This is poorly editted, and virtually hot off the press. I want you to tell me how this makes you feel. The emotion behind it- concrit that. I'm incredibly angry at the world right now, and this is something I should have written forever ago. It feels good to get this off my chest.

Thank you so much for reading this. It means a lot to me as a person.