Spending time.

Spending lives.

A thousand words can mean so much,

Yet at the same time, so very little.

What are words?

Nothing more than idle symbols,

Scribbled down on paper.

What are words?

Nothing more than confusing sounds,

Thrown out into the wind.

What are actions?

Nothing more than movements,

Made by a fragile corpse.

Yesterday I thought I knew you.

It turns out I was wrong.

Drowning is so horrible,

Did I ever tell you that?

I’m drowning in the future.

I CAME BACK.

Excited to see me?

But you can’t see me.

Horror. Sadness.

I died.
Screw you.

Your grief.

Your tears.

So this is what it’s like

To be dead.

So this is what you wanted me to know.

But that was so long ago…

How can you possibly remember?

I can’t.

You really do, don’t you?

You really do love me, don’t you?

This is what you tried to say

That one time…

Isn’t it?

Dammit.

I can’t say

What I want to…

I can’t find the words.

What are words?

Words can’t explain…

Words can’t explain Love.

Or death.

Or anything in between.

Excited to see me?

Probably not.

You look… frightened.
Scared.

Fear gives your eyes color.

Your eyes that used to see me…

See me now instead

As a ghost.

A phantom.

I was that girl,

That girl lying still

Inside the rosewood box.

That casket.
That red rose you put in my hands…

Is that what you were trying to tell me?
That you loved me?

I still love you…

Your eyes that used to look at me

So tenderly…

So lovingly…

Fear filled eyes.

Gateways to eternity…

Filled with fear.

But what is fear?
A word.

Words are nothing.

Fear means nothing to me.

But it does to you.

I guess fear means something…

Now it means something.

Something far greater than a word can ever express.

Because words and actions are the only ways to express what the soul is ever like.

So when you put the rose in my hands…

Were you trying to say…

I love you?

Because I love you.

Even if you fear me.

Even if you hate me.

Even though you were the one who threw the dirt down on my rosewood box called home…

I still love you.