Thank you for the reviews, all of you! It’s been so long . . . anyway, this is all freshly written as of today! Hope you like :) I have so many ideas bouncing around inside my head, so if the next update comes a little late, I apologize. But in the meantime, do read and review! Thanks again!

As if Bryan knew I was breaking some of his moral laws, he called later that day. It came up as an unknown number, and I almost didn’t pick up. When he asked me to meet him at a café, I almost didn’t recognize his voice. I composed my voice into something lighter and more polite when I realized it was him. On my way there, I called Gavin, wondering if he had mentioned my morning visit.

“Let me guess, he called?” were the first words out of his mouth.

“Yeah, Bryan did,” I replied, slightly annoyed. “Did you happen—”

“I didn’t say anything, relax,” Gavin said, “ he just wants to get to know you, I guess.”

“Hm. I hope that’s it.”

“Don’t worry, you haven’t committed some terrible crime. Call me when you’re out.”

Terrible crime . . . I hope I hadn’t. Since I called the house, did that mean I was still in allegiance with mortals? I thought of Moira, and she was the obvious answer.

The café Bryan had picked was squashed between two empty looking buildings. The door was open, letting in the cool air as I walked in, already somewhat nervous. There he was, sitting in the corner of one booth, looking up from a menu as soon as I walked in. No more stalling then; I crossed the small room and sat across from him.

“Glad you could make it,” he said, folding the menu.

“Yeah—sorry I didn’t make it to the other meeting,” I said, mumbling a little. I decided to leave out an excuse unless he asked for one.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, slouching a little further into his seat. The move was oddly human, and I wondered if he put on the act while in public. “I understand you’ve been having difficulty parting from your old life.”

I swallowed, guilty of it. Instead of a real reply, I fiddled with the zipper of my hoodie, nodding slightly. “It’s a little complicated with a family.”

Bryan seemed to catch some of the sarcasm in my voice and raised an eyebrow. He just shrugged and said, “It happens to some. Nothing to get worked up about now. Forget that, I need some other information from you.”

I was a little more relieved and cleared my throat as I sat up straighter.

“I asked some of the other regions if they had a loner on the loose,” he said. “The one who bit you wasn’t one of ours. A girl, right?”

“Yeah—well she was older. Like, in her thirties maybe,” I replied.

Bryan nodded in thought. “Uh-huh. Surprise attack? No coaxing out of sight?”

I shook my head and went on to describe what had happened that night. He listened with rapt attention, eyes trained on my face, never wavering. I couldn’t keep my eyes on him, and instead concentrated on gulping some of the water the waitress had brought me.

“And does your family know?” Bryan asked after I had finished.

I paused on that one, wondering what was safe to tell. “Not really. My mom’s seen the fangs, but she thinks they’re fake. And no one else knows—well, my brother and his girlfriend, but they’re under the same impression.”

Bryan looked relieved at the mention of my mother, but the other two caused him to frown. “And you visited your mother today?”

Unintentionally, my teeth clenched hard. So Gavin did say something.

Bryan laughed at my reaction and seemed to relax a little. “Sorry, I’ve got to keep a slight eye on you until you’ve detached yourself completely.”

It made me uneasier knowing he was the one following me around. I would prefer Gavin.

“I’m sorry, Max, but you have to see this situation clearly. I can’t trust that you’re not going to give this away—us away. In this mingling, you are endangering your existence as well as others. I can’t have that.”

His face darkened, though he wasn’t looking at me. At first, I wanted to banter that with a remark, but kept my mouth shut. He wasn’t one to test.

“I’m sorry,” I said after a pause, “but it may be easier for others to just leave their old lives behind, but I was kind of thrown into this.”

“Oh believe me, I understand that perfectly well,” he replied, looking at me pointedly. “But sorry, this has become your first priority.”

I tried to hold back the slightly resentful look on my face, but Bryan caught it.

“I don’t want to have to take extreme measures, Max,” he said, “but I’ll do what I can to keep our secret.”

I’ve only met him once before, but the tone in his voice was something I’d never heard before. I didn’t think he was really that type.

Before I could really think about it, he was back to smiling lightly and asking when I had fed last. Funny he had asked, the whole time a certain smell had been in the back of my mind. It wafted off the waitress and was mixed with another interesting smell that I couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t quite unpleasant, but I couldn’t think of what it was. There was the smell of blood mixed with it, but it was so different.

“Well, you know about the house already, so you know you’re always welcome there,” Bryan said. “I hear you’re staying with Gavin in the meantime. I’m glad you are, he was in need of some sort of companion. After his incident, I was beginning to worry.”

I frowned at this. “What actually happened? He won’t really say.”

“It’s up to him to tell you if he’d like. It’s in the past, nothing important,” was the reply. He seemed to be wrapping things up, shoving his wallet into his jacket and taking a final drink of water. I followed suit, standing and waiting for him.

“Thanks again for meeting me,” Bryan said when we stood outside. I squinted in the glare of the sunlight, looking up to meet his eyes. He wasn’t squinting at all, and his skin gave off a white glow in the light, his hair pale and wispy. I wondered if every vampire would eventually look so ethereal.

“Work on severing your mortals friends, all right?” he said, giving a faint smile as he walked away. I nodded slightly, having gotten another whiff of that strange smell. It seemed to have come off of Bryan, but what it was, I couldn’t tell.

I snapped out of my stance long after he had gone, and decided to take the long walk back to Gavin’s apartment.

The pressure on my chest was worse than it had ever been. I walked with one hand clutching my sternum, thinking over what Bryan had said. There was no way I could avoid these things anymore. I could just tell mom I was going off to college early . . . community college. I would tell her I was getting my GED if I didn’t finish out high school. I didn’t know if I could do that, but then there was Moira.

As if on cue, my pocket vibrated and her name appeared on the screen. Nerve drove me to answer, my voice strained as I kept going.

“Max?” Her voice almost sounded foreign; it had been so long since I had heard it.

“Hey, Moira,” I said, clearing my throat. “What’s up?”

“Where have you been lately? Your mom keeps calling—”

“I know, I know,” I interrupted, already getting impatient, “and I’m sorry. I’ve already told her what’s going on, so I’m sorry if she keeps getting on your case.”

“It’s okay,” she replied, sounding a little hurt. “She already told me what you said.”

“Oh.” That could mean a number of things. I wonder if she had confided in Moira enough to tell her about the fangs.

“Are you coming to school tomorrow?” she asked, breaking me out of my thoughts again.

“Maybe—I don’t know—probably not.”

I heard her sigh before she spoke. “Are you sick? Is there anything I can do?”

“No, just—well yeah, just give me time,” I said. “I swear I’ll explain things to you soon.” Maybe. “I’ll call you later this week, okay?”

“Okay.” She sounded irritated. “I just miss you, that’s all.”

A new ache bloomed in my chest, and the guilt gave way to further frustration. “I know, I miss you, too. I wish I could tell you things now, but . . .”

I bit down on my tongue, the fang scraping painfully. I was staying things I shouldn’t have even confessed.

“But what?” Moira asked quickly. “Can I meet you at—”

“No, I can’t,” I snapped. I paused to gain some composure again. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’ll call you.”

I hoped I hadn’t hurt her too bad. I waited while she paused, walking faster towards Gavin’s place.

“Okay,” she said softly. “Feel better.”

She hung up before I could apologize or say anything else. I hung up and squeezed my phone angrily, the plastic squealing a little under the pressure. I pounded my fist against the building as I passed, swearing under my breath. God, I wanted to tell her so badly, but what good would that bring? Either she would understand or shun me, and then what? Would Bryan have to change her, or maybe even kill her? His tone suggested violence, but maybe I had interpreted it wrong . . . maybe he would just kill me.

Or you could change her yourself, some part of me thought. Yeah, some idea. But then I thought about it; getting to her while she was asleep, changing her so she didn’t know it was me. Would she confide in me then? It would be so easy—I could see her telling me everything, and then the relief when she found out I was in the same position.

How stupid. How selfish. What a great person I’d be for taking someone’s life for my sake. Boy, Max, you really hit it on the head this time.

I was breathless by the time I stumbled up to door 31. My hands were shaking hard while I fumbled with the key; luckily, that dog wasn’t there, or else I might have killed it. Gavin wasn’t home, and I walked through the dark apartment towards the bedroom, prepared to spend the night in there. I slammed the door behind me and locked it. I threw my phone across the room and collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling while I tried to catch my breath. Vlad’s ghostly face loomed above, and I wondered how he had dealt with anything. Was he ever really normal, not lusting to kill? Maybe not . . . would I end up like that?

I let my eyes close and tried to calm down. I wouldn’t become dependant on blood; I wouldn’t bend to the disgusting ache that was starting to engulf me.

No way. Not me.

XxXxX

There was a noise from the living room. It startled me more than it should have, and my whole body jerked in reaction to it. Somehow I’d moved off the bed and was crouched in the corner of the room. It was like dying all over again. Every fiber of me was on fire, my muscles tight and shaking. I was clutching my dirty hair in tight fists, teeth clenched tight. I had no idea how long I’d been lying there in a stupor, pretty much in a state of permanent psychosis.

Besides the fact that I knew I was depriving myself, I didn’t know how I was reacting. I could hear things far better than normal. I could smell blood, from where, I didn’t know. It was driving me off the wall.

My eyes darted to the door when I heard a noise again. There was light coming from the living room. Someone was there. It was a familiar smell, stronger than the one that filled the room. Gavin had come home. He jostled the doorknob, and I thought the lock might have kept him out. It was stupid of me, because the next second I heard it click out of place and the door opened.

“Oh wow,” Gavin muttered when he noticed me. He stepped in fast and closed the door quietly. “I didn’t think you’d be this bad already.”

“What do you want?” I hissed in a voice I hardly recognized. My voice felt tight, just like everything else.

“I wonder if I looked like this,” Gavin mumbled, bending low from across the room to look at my face. “You’ve got nothing in you, huh?”

“Get out of here!”

He took a couple of steps closer and I reacted on instinct. I lunged at him, stopping a few feet away. He didn’t budge, just laughed a little.

“God, if you were on the streets you’d rampage worse than me,” he said, moving his hair out of his face. He casually scratched his neck, bringing the smell of blood closer. It was so different though, almost like what I had noticed when I met Bryan. It was a dark smell, richer than human blood. It occurred to me then that it might be him, or his blood, tainted with whatever it was a vampire had.

“Gavin, get—out,” I managed to whisper.

“You can’t just stay in here, I can’t even let you out on the streets to hunt. You’ll kill someone,” he replied, hand still at his neck.

“Then get me something, please, or—”

The smell was suddenly everywhere, flooding the air and choking me. I didn’t understand and fell back, leaning against the wall. Gavin slowly moved his hand away, looking at his fingers. They were coated in something dark, and any control I had had before suddenly melted away.

I didn’t care if I hurt him, or even killed him. One second I was against the wall, the next I had Gavin pinned, one hand in his hair, the other on his shoulder. I pulled his head to the side, holding one arm down as I stared at the dark liquid oozing from his neck. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation for me then.

There was no reason for me to use my fangs, but I still drove them deep into the small wound on his neck. He yelled out something, but I didn’t stop. My whole body was tense, my grip tight on him as I sucked down his blood.

And then the memories started. I tried to ignore them since they came in flashes, completely indiscernible. The taste is what got me. It was so different—so much better—than human blood. It felt thicker in my mouth, and tasted richer. I kept drinking without a second thought to Gavin. He had a hard grip on my arms, but didn’t move otherwise. The ache was just beginning to diminish when I felt a pain in my shoulder. Gavin had managed to snap at me, drawing my own blood. I wrenched my shoulder away, and he just laughed. Now that some of my mind was back, this confused me and I slowed down, unable to avoid his memories anymore. I could hardly think straight.

I felt my jaw slacken and I pulled away. As soon as my grip had lessened, Gavin pushed my head away, resuming his goal at my shoulder. I would have stopped him, but my mind was cluttered. I saw him at home, arguing with his dad, a bigger man in a white outfit with a stained, white apron. Then I saw Gavin on a computer, searching for his mother’s name. It changed to an image of him on the ground, partially covered with snow.

“What is . . .” I mumbled, but could hardly speak.

Gavin shoved me off him and I landed limply on my back. I was trying to think for myself, but his memories were invading, totally out of control, and I let my eyes close for rest. I ended up passing out instead.