You're Poison

---

Happy as we were together, for you it was not enough. Sad as it was when you left, I still live. Not alive, no, that does not happen to me. I am lost and down but you won’t see. The tears these blue eyes have shed are for me to know for you to...well not. My life will no longer be affected by you, not if I can help it. And in order to do that I must find a way to let go.
But letting go is not always as easy as it seems.
You came back days after you left. Said you wanted to start where you left of. If only I had seen it then. You did not want me because you loved me. You did not come back to me because you could not life without me, even if that was all I wanted to believe. You came back because you wanted me out of pure habit. You did not need me but you just did not want to be alone.

Boys, cant live with them and it's illegal to kill them, what's a girl to do?

Your cruel device
Your blood, like ice
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill

Does it make you feel good? Knowing you are hurting me. Knowing my heart was given to you on a golden platter and you just threw it away on trash day. Was it really all that simple to you? Then why? Why did you look so hurt when I met that other guy right after you left. All we did was talk, you were only a few feet away, you saw it all happening. He wanted to bring me home. It was new years evening and he did just not want me to be alone. One look at your face though. I said no. I told him you would drive me home. Knowing you would, you said so. We were still friends. He looked hurt but I felt no guilt. I was still head over heels for you. I could not see a drop dead gorgeous guy if he slapped me in the face. You were all I could think about. You were the only one I wanted to be with, right than and there. Sometimes I wondered was I ever all you thought about. Were you ever waiting on long lonely nights for me to come to you. Did you ever wait at all? Yet still I loved you.

I want to love you but I better not touch
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much

This can not be happening. You brought me home and gave a kiss. Did this mean, we were more then just friends? Did this mean you still loved me? I wanted to give you another kiss just as doubt flew in. I gave a weak smile and walked away. Knowing I wanted to much. You hurt me once, it’s easy to do it twice. I won’t let you come that near again. I must not.

But as I closed my door my telephone rang. It was you. You were on the other side. Telling me you still loved me. You still cared for me. You still wanted only me. Would I take you back. Would I believe and take you back into my life? Would I? If I would let you back in...would you bring me down? Would you let me chase you only for you to drag me down?

But the words I said were out on the open before I could think. Yes think...what a life, if only I could think before acting around you. I never stopped loving you. I just didn’t want to let you know, in fear. Fear of losing you again even if I did not truly have you, you’d know you had me.

I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains

You rang the bell and I opened the door. There you were with all your glory. Was I really going to let you in? Was I really going to give myself to you once again? Was I really going to open up once again? Was I? I really had no clue, on what I would do. All I knew was that I did love you and no matter what I was afraid of losing you, for you had me heart and without one nobody can live. All the times you walked away, I wanted to show you I could do without. Even without you I was breathing. But now you were standing right before me expressing your love, all my plans vanished. My love for you was all I knew.

Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I'm caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat

Your mouth found their way to mine. As you wrapped your arms around me. Your kiss brought me to a state where nothing mattered. Nothing was of any importance. I was with you. Soon I was once again caught. Caught in your web. Web of lies and web of love-triages. How was I going to survive I did not know.

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains
Poison

Poison flows through me. You are never leaving. You are already under my skin. Even if I wanted you to leave. You would be there. Just beneath the surface. We’re two weeks further down the road. You left me once again. And I just want you near me. I want you to scream my name. In anger, in love, in pain if necessary. I need you to call out to me. I need…I need you. But you’re gone. I am alone again. I am lonely without you by my side. How will I survive.

But my actions cause you anger. I ignore you and you snap. If looked could kill…I’d be six feet under by the time your eyes leave my face again.

One look could kill
My pain, your thrill

Still you don’t understand the pain you put me through. The pain you make me feel. The heartbreak you make me go through.

I want to love you but I better not touch
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains
Poison

Moving on without you is one very hard thing to do. But you are three girls further and I haven’t left my spot. I must get up. I must go on. I must live. Because even if I cannot be with you, live matters as long as you are alive. I need to be alive. I need my live t mean something. I need to mean something, to someone. Someone who will love me back. Just remember. I never stopped loving you. I never was the one to let go. I just stop holding on to you now. And slowly I see you drifting away. Farther and farther away.
I keep a straight face. I won’t frown. I’ll be strong. I steel the smiles of the people around. Just pretend I am the one smiling. Show I am the one smiling. I will make their smiles mine as well.

I want to love you but I better not touch
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison, yeah
I don't want to break these chains
Poison, oh no
Running deep inside my veins,
Burning deep inside my veins
It's poison
I don't want to break these chains
Poison

All the time you’ve been on my mind. I thought I’d die of a broken heart. But I did not. I was waiting for that time to come. But it did not. Seems you don’t die of a broken heart in the end. Still I wish I did.
I wanted to forget you for so long I forgot. But now I can say you are gone. Gone from my life. I’ve moved on. Even if I am not dating I don’t want some rebound-guy. I want the real thing this time. The real deal. I want love. Something you never felt, something you never gave.

I saw you were hurt as I was flirting with other men and for the first time in a long time I laughed. I genuine laugh. It’s twisted, yes I know. But you will be the one hurt now.
The feeling I felt for you will not leave my heart. But you left it long ago. Now it’s time to find someone who deserves to be handed my heart, on a golden platter.

All this time when I had nobody there to catch me if I fell, or so I thought. Turned out I just wanted nobody but you to catch me. But I realised. Those who catch you when you do fall, those are the once that matter. You are no longer apart of that group.

So good-bye and leave my sight. Take with you the endless night. The night I’ve lived in day by day. Time has come, to leave the black and grey. So take your things and walk away. I am not yours to play. I am human and I have faults. But I will no longer play your game. I will no longer participate. You don’t deserve it. So when you decide it’s time to try all the things you tried before. I’ll tell you now I won’t be there. But you got that by now I guess. For the last time I will say these words, the words I’ll say to you; Good-bye, may you find what you are looking for. May you find you’ve been wrong, may you find...find anything but a girl to good for you. And may you find anything but me.

---

Let it be clear that I do not pretend this song by alice Cooper...I'd wish I was that good ;). But I do own this story i put around the song. I really thought the song fit wonderful...don't you agree?

Anyhow I hope you liked this story and please let me know by reviews and such. I wrote this a long time ago but I'm still happy with it, which is pretty rare for me!