Maria got me up a few hours later, and checked on me before continuing to get ready to leave for the rodeo. I got up sluggishly, and realized I had no clothes. Rita lent me something to wear for today, and we met up with the guys, who led us to the car. A famous Clash song playing on the radio worried me the entire ride.

By the time we arrived, I was a nervous wreck. Maria and Rita took my arms, and we got in line for the show. I realized after a minute that I didn’t have Karl’s pass. I cursed, and double checked in my purse. Something caught my eye as I looked down, and I stopped, and peered around, cautiously. Seeing nothing, I stepped out of the line, and wandered a bit, searching through the purse.

Strong hands landed on my shoulders, and a large body followed, closer. I freaked, and whirled around. I must have startled Karl, for he put his hands up to show he carried nothing.

He said quietly, “Hi.”

“Hey.”

He dug into his pocket and retrieved the pass and handed it to me.

“Do you want me to walk you in? Or would you rather-“ he offered.

“I can do it,” I interrupted rudely without thinking.

He nodded disappointedly. “Alright then.”

“Alright,” I returned. No one moved to walk away. “Good luck.”

“Oh, right, thanks. I’ll see you later, then?” Karl asked anxiously.

“Hmm,” I suggested monotonously, and walked back to the group.

Bareback bronc riding was one of my favorite events to watch, and tonight it cheered me up tremendously. We still cheered for Karl, despite his laughable first ride. He didn’t get very far overall, but placed second in his age division.

Surprisingly, it was a long show, over three hours, with all the divisions, and final rounds. The horses they brought in were beautifully powerful, built entirely of muscle, and hardly keeping all four hooves on the ground. The announcer, the one from back in Eleniel, had explained before the show that almost all of the horses were captured on the plains in Utah, and Texas. The variety was amazing; they were smaller than the performance horses, but more stout and muscular. They were dirty, but patterned coats shone out in chestnuts, blacks, paints, and palominos. Most had good conformation, and, with discipline, could make nice ranch horses.

My friends got excited at one point when the announcer said that some of the retired horses from all points in the PBR Small Rounds would be available for auction on Saturday. I laughed, but almost considered picking me up another riding horse. I realized I didn’t have the trailer, and tried to shake my friends off of buying the prettiest bucking filly so far.

When it finally ended, we gathered our things, and started to head out to the SUV. But before we left the stadium, I got a text message from Karl which read, “Formal dance tonight. Will you be my date?”

I sighed, and texted back after a bit of thought, “Yes.”

Rita looked over my shoulder, and asked what I was doing. I showed her the message, and she got excited and told Maria.

“That’s great!” Rita cried, hugging me.

“Can we come?” Maria asked, excited, as she grabbed Charlie’s hand.

“Lemme ask real quick.” I asked Karl, and he said everyone was invited, as long as I brought the pass; it was somewhat VIP.

“But we don’t have any dresses,” Maria reminded us.

“Well, let’s go!” Rita replied, ushering us towards the door.

The guys went off to look for appropriate suits, after a reminder that we were in Texas, while we hurried towards the section of formal dresses. We chatted happily while browsing for the perfect dress, and eventually had armloads of beautiful garments. Once again, we made sure we had the changing rooms to ourselves, so we could be as obnoxious as we wanted, and began slipping on our favorites from the wide assortment.

After trying a dress on, everyone came out in the aisle to get opinions. The first dress I tried was dark green full length gown; it was not to my taste. Maria had a peaceful aquamarine and earth brown dress on, subtle but it made her look magical. We kept going like this until everyone made a decision.

We tried nearly every color imaginable, from gothic purples to bumble bee yellows. Maria got the aqua dress, and Rita ended up with a vibrant orange and black strapless. After many hard decisions, I made my final choice: a layered, close fitting halter, with a low cut front, a short, asymmetrical bottom, and a black shawl. The under-fabric was glittery midnight blue, and a dull, glittery black material lay overtop. It hugged my body, softening my every curve, and relaxing my ranch-worked body.

It was different from everybody else’s dresses, in that mine looked sad. At the moment, it reflected my mood.

We paid for our dresses, all a little bit on the expensive side, and wandered around Lord & Taylor looking for accessories. Surprisingly, Rita was the easiest to shop for, pairing her dress with onyx black stud earrings, a necklace, and shiny orange pumps.

We found toned down brown jewelry for Maria, including a pretty charm necklace with a brown feather on a silver chain, and brown slouch boots.

I had an easy time finding accessories as well, and ended up satisfied with my purchases: midnight blue ankle wrap wedges, wide, black hoop earrings, and a beautiful multi-strand necklace with small pieces of sea glass.

Maria, and Rita talked with me on the ride back to my hotel, to keep my mind of the dance that night. I carefully hung my dress in the hotel room closet, and went to the bathroom, and started pulling out my creams and lotions and setting them on the white counter.

I started from top to bottom, beginning the ritual. Sometimes, when I got sad or lonely, I’d treat myself to a full body relaxant, with facial creams, honey skin softener, hair replenishers, and many other treatments. But never any makeup; I loved the natural, clean feeling. I didn’t do it often, but I was fully prepared when I did.

After I finished, I wandered to the balcony, and sat on the ledge, hugging my knees. I was only there a moment before I heard my cell phone ring from the bed. I closed my eyes, sighed, and hurried to answer it.

“Hello?”
”Hey, its me,” answered Karl, quietly.

I paused, then echoed his tone with, “Hey.”

As if expecting something more of an answer, he paused. “So, um, I realized I didn’t tell you much about tonight.”

“Nope.”

“It’s a formal for all the contenders in tomorrow night’s ride. Invitation only, but I’ll get your friends in.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Do we need to bring anything?”

“No. Did you bring a dress you could wear?” he asked.

“Actually, we just got ones to wear, the three of us.”

“What’s yours look like?” he inquired, like always.

And as usual, I replied, “It’s a surprise. But I can tell you it’s blue.”

“Ah. Guess I’ll just have to wait.”

His regularity made me smile.

“Can I give you a ride there?” his country gentleman asked.

“Oh, no, Taylor’s giving me a ride. It’s-“

“Please? I want to take my date myself,” Karl gently insisted.

I bit my lip. “Alright. I’ll tell Maria,” I said slowly. “Thanks.”

“It’s nothing.”

The way he was talking this whole conversation made me think he was holding something back. Something in his voice wanted to talk without thinking.

“Karl, is everything alright?” I asked, cautiously.

I heard him breathe in sharply on the other end of the line, then release it all at once. “I just feel kind of, third wheel, here, with all your friends around us all the time.”

I felt terrible, because what he said was entirely true. “Karl, I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. They’re your friends, and you don’t see them very often,” he offered.

“Yeah, but you’re my friend, too. I should treat you with that same respect as everyone else gets.”

“I guess.”

I looked around the room, and found my eyes led to Karl’s usual places: the loveseat, the floor, the balcony, or on top of the desk. I felt so isolated, and lonely without him. This is exactly how he feels, I realized.

I whispered, shakily into the phone, “I’m sorry.”

“Carolyn, I’m alright.”

Confused, I couldn’t response.

He spoke up. “Tonight, you are my date, and that makes me happy.”

“I’ll see you tonight, Karl,” I sniffled, quietly.

“Tonight.”

I took a while to get ready, purposely, to keep my mind from wandering. I stepped back away from the mirror long enough to admire my reflection; this was a special dress.

Just then, the phone rang. I answered it, and the woman at the desk in the lobby said my date was here to pick me up. I thanked her, and grabbed my shawl and purse from the bed. I looked in the floor length mirror once more, and headed out the door.

I stepped slowly out of the elevator, and looked around for Karl. He stood by the automatic sliding doors, with a bouquet of flowers. He was wearing a jet black button down shirt, and dark blue tie. He looked handsome dressed up, and I wasn’t prouder to know him.

He saw me coming, and turned to face me from across the entrance. He watched me walk for a minute, then stepped briskly to greet me and hug me with a gentle touch.

“You look beautiful, Carolyn.”

“Thank you. And you look very handsome, Karl,” I said, straightening his tie. He handed me the flowers, and I smelt them, closing my eyes. “They’re perfect.”

He picked a near black rose, and tucked it behind my hair, nestled above my right ear. I smiled, graciously, and he led me out to his truck, where he helped me in, and drove off silently.

Instead of going straight to the dance hall, Karl took me to one of our favorite spots in Houston, the Forrest Diner. We sat at the bar, and got quick desserts. Even though I felt horribly overdressed, I forgot all about that, and had a good time talking with Karl. We were acting normally, like nothing had happened. Finally, I apologized.

“Karl, I’m sorry about the other night in the parking lot.”

“Alright.”
”Alright?”
”I don’t know what else to say. I forgive you, and I’m incredibly sorry I yelled at you, I hope you understand that I didn’t mean it.”

I better tell him now. “Karl, I kissed you after you said, ‘You don’t mean that.’ I guess you could say I didn’t mean that either.”

“Well, did you mean it? That kiss…was it real?”

Disappointed, I answered, “No.”

“I understand,” he sighed. “You’re forgiven,” he replied, soothingly, putting a hand on my shoulder.