I awoke to a bright and quiet room. I flopped my arm over and it landed on an empty bed, no one was there. I climbed out of bed and turned on the light and a white piece of paper filled with words was laying on the dresser top. I picked up the paper and turned it over, it was completely filled. I sat down on the bed and scanned my eyes across the paper.

Dear Honor,

I don’t know, but I’m assuming that you knew this was coming. The look in your eyes and the rasp in your voice last night, I knew you did, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I know I lied. And your probably wanting to scream at me and probably give me a good slap again and I for once deserve it. I should have talked to you, that I know. if anyone, I should have talked to you, not my dad because maybe you would have understood.

Somewhere along the line I lost myself Honor. Between all the time we haven’t been together you’ve done your stuff, whatever it was good or bad not counting what I thought of it. But every time you were able to do that I haven’t had the time because of Spencer. I made that mistake, I did this not you.

I just don’t want you to think that this has anything to do with you. No… that doesn’t sound right. Me leaving has everything to do without you. Butt he reasons I left had nothing to do with you. But I also don’t want you to think that I’m not coming back.

I don’t know where I’m going, I couldn’t possible know at this point but somehow I don’t think I will be calling in this time apart. I’ll be back in these few months the birth of our baby because having a family with you is what I need, what I want and that is the only thing I know right now.

The house is fine and paid for, don’t worry about that no one should bother you. If you need anything you can call Anna, she really looks up to you. But she’s also a great girl. She reminds me of you and I know you pointed that out to me a long time ago but she needs someone to talk to, so maybe call her for her more then you…

This is really hard... I never expected to do this. Not now, not ever and I never intend on doing it again, nothing of the sort. You’re the love of my life don’t ever think that it’s wrong. I know I don’t deserve to ask you anything but please, please, stay away from that Luke creep…

You look beautiful while you sleep… I’ll be back sooner then you think Honor. I don’t know what I’m looking for but I’ll find it and come back because your everything and that kid on the way is everything I’ve hoped for. I love you Honor Carpenters and I want to marry you. I need to … I wont say goodbye. That is something you say to someone you wont see again, that I wont give fate that satisfaction..

I love you evermore,

Brendon

The end