|25 Ways to Piss Off and Confuse Telemarketers
Author: fatbird33 PM
it's exactly what it says it is.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Words: 290 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 06-08-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2373459
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25 Ways to Piss of/Weird out a Telemarketer
WARNING: You probably should not actually do most of these, for it may result in your arrest.
Speak Klingon or any exotic language of your choice.
Tell them that they have called you ten times that day and if they call you again you will hang them by their intestines, burn them and then suck up their ashes with a Hoover (because it's British).
Answer with: "911, what's your emergency."
Try to sell them something.
Try to sell them what they're trying to sell to you.
Try to sell their soul to God.
Say in a husky voice: "You will die in seven days."
Tell them that you will blow up their house as an act of terrorism on the US.
Tell them that you'll buy their product. They'll die of shock.
Start singing, "My Humps".
Tell them: "I can see you."
Ask them: "Do you know where your kids are?"
Start talking to yourself and promptly ignore everything that they say.
Act as if you're dying/being murdered.
Suddenly gasp and say: "Oh My God I've found Atlantis."
Gasp and say: "You've killed Kenny!"
Start reciting a scene in Star Wars.
Ask them if they like strawberries.
Tell them: "Fire, I've made fire!" Then grunt like a caveman and laugh evilly.
Talk like a caveman.
Count down from ten, while they're talking, and when at one say "Blast Off!" and hang up.
Turn on your hairdryer and place it in front of the phone.
Give the telemarketer the "I Have a Dream" speech.
Chirp like a bird.
You could also just hang up, but what's the fun in that?