Damn. Shit. Hell. Gorramit. Fuck. God damn it. Bitch. Bastard. Bullshit.

Okay, a strange way to start a story, I admit, but it got your attention didn’t it? That was my aim you see. I don’t want you to see the title of my story, and rush right on by it. On the off chance you actually open up my story, I know you’ll read the first line, and if your not caught right then, I’ll loose you. You’ll skip merrily along to the next story title, and mine will already be forgotten by the time you’re reading the next opening line. Catching attention in the world of the written word nears impossible. You know what I mean, don’t you?

Oh wait. I think I’m loosing you already. I can feel your disinterest mounting in your head. Your thinking you should be doing something else. Starting a new story, updating an old one for all those fans, (or lack there of) or maybe you think you shouldn’t be at this computer at all. What about that messy room you’re supposed to be cleaning? That job application you’re supposed to be filling out or that essay you should have finished last night?

You’re neglecting, but that’s okay.

Now, I’m about to write the best opening line I can think of. It needs to be so good that you will put off writing your new story, and let your fans wait in utter anticipation a little longer for your next update. It’ll need to be such a magnificent string of opening words that you’ll let your room go messy, leave that job application for later, and do your essay in another bit of your precious free time. It’ll be such a wonderful opening line that you’ll be gripped by the fingers of human curiosity. You will be so miraculously taken by surprise and intrigue, that your fingers will rush to the mouse to scroll down to see more.

Are you impatient yet?

I would understand if you were.

I am too, especially seeing as I don’t know what the opening line is.

Don’t reach for that mouse! Dear reader, I am just reaching the best part. Have no fear. I have come up with my opening line. I shall not desert you without closer. I shall not leave you staring at the screen, going, “What the hell?”

Ready? Here’s my opening line.

Oh damn.

I forgot.

Fine. Go ahead! I’ve failed. I didn’t give you an opening line. I’ve failed at life! I don’t know what my opening line would be.

Damn! Now I feel silly and childish. How do I save this show before it blows up in my face? I was told I could handle this. Oh no. I’m loosing my reader! Everything is falling to pieces! What do I do? I’ve bored you. I’ve let you down. I’m so sorry.

Wait a damn minute!

I’ve got it! Please come back, reader! I’ve solved it. I’ve saved the show. All that yammering I gave you? It all comes down to this. Read the opening line, which I worked so hard for, slaved over, yearned and dreamed for. It’s right at your fingertips, waiting to be read by yours eyes.

Here it is! The title shall be……”Choose the shows you save.”

The opening line?

“Ever tried coming up with that winning first line to a book or story? That line you’re supposed to impress everybody and grab their attention before they slip away? You’re supposed to say something shocking, amazing, even miraculous. Whether it’s a scene of blood curdling fear, overwhelming passion, or a life threatening battle, it’s supposed to be special, and better than everything else.

So, take a moment and think. Think really hard, and rub your temples like your concentrating intensely. Now let me ask you a question. If you had to write an opening line that was that kind of breathtaking masterpiece…what would you write? Now, sit up, as if a light bulb just turned on over your head, and tell me your answer.”

Okay, it was more than just a line. What the hell. The point was to get your attention right? Did I succeed? Well, if you’ve read this much, apparently I wasn’t completely boring, was I?

Think of this as the prolog, and guess what I’ll do next time, and not with such yammery build up? I’ll give you the next several paragraphs. Maybe I’ll even tell you a few pages, who knows? However, I’ll tell you the main characters name of the story now…..my name.

My first name is Nickle, and my last name Katrine.

Nickle Katrine.

I never expected you to actually read this, unless you already know me. If you know my friends, my two brothers and parents and sister, then I’d understand why you would open this document. But a stranger? I never expected I would actually grab your attention…not for this long. You read all the way to the end, that amazes me, and hey, wasn’t it supposed to be me who amazes you?

Well, anyway, thanks for letting me, Nickle Katrine, to touch your life…even if its for the briefest of moments.