I once had the love they talk about

And it was pure bliss

But now he has left me

And I wonder what did I do?

Did I say the wrong thing?

Was it wrong to wish that I could meet him?

So what if all we had to talk over was MSN?

It may have just been a computer screen he was reading from

But all the words he read were mine

And somehow they must have meant nothing.

Yet I poured all my heart into them

And I told him all

Yet nothing did I get

Back

But a fouls happiness.

Now I distrust people

And can't find it in myself to trust others

He may have left me in a wreck

He may have made me sadder then ever

He may have helped give me depression

And yet somehow I can't stop thinking of him.

I can't stand those love songs

That say how great things are

'Cause I find it all so fake

And wish for that love again

We may have been far

We may have only had a computer

But somehow I really thought that I could have something

Good in this life.

Something that made me feel like it was all worth something

But no I will never get that any time soon.

Even when listening to music

My most loved of all shelters

I still feel the despair creeping up into my mind

And somehow at the end of every night I find myself

Crying and lost.

Then I think of all the people that have help

And I see that two people have pulled me so far

Into the ground that I may never come back

'Mother' that person has helped to send me so far away

'Nathan' my shining light helped to pull me so far

And these two people have cased me all this pain

And I'm still in pain.

What do I have to keep me going?

I have what I can find

I can't really tell my friends what I feel

I really can't find it in myself to trust anyone

I'm so sorry

For any that are really trying to help

But I can't pull myself up

I don't even know if I want to be pulled up.

So I will remain here

In the bottom of the pit

And continue to fall and sink deeper

Until I can find a way up

Until I can find the will to want to go on

I like to think that some day

I will smile with out the sadness behind it

Laugh and not feel bad after

Not just borrow all this happiness from other

And keep my own.

Save myself

If I can't pull myself up

Do I really want to be saved?