Chapter-20: Song of the Heart

I still haven’t gone to the hospital. It’s now Thursday. Jayden and Cage are yelling at me (literally) to go and see Liam. They don’t know how hard it is for me. Jayden and I haven’t gotten along since our fight on Monday.

At times I don’t know what I saw in him, but then I remember how sweet and innocent he is and I fall in love with him all over again. Cayden and I have been taking walks to the park almost everyday to talk about Liam. Even though she’s his baby sitter, she really loves him.

My cell phone and my home phone are constantly ringing. Jayden and Cage are always trying to call me, but I never answer them. They always corner me at school, to talk to me and tell me that they understand. But, none of them will ever understand.

My dad is still hitting me. Only this time it’s because the phone keeps ringing. I can’t bring myself to tell anyone else that I get abused. Jayden, Cage, and Cayden have kept their promise and haven’t told. I thank them for that. But, I know it’s hard for them to keep quiet.

Life’s a bitch isn’t it?

“Would you answer the damn phone?”

I looked up from my notebook, startled, when I heard dad’s cold voice. He was glaring at me as the phone rang for the umpteenth time.

“How about you just pull the plugs on all of our phones?” I demanded, glaring back at him.

“How about you just make new friends?” dad demanded, slamming my bedroom door shut. I heard a clinking sound at the window and sighed heavily.

“I might just do that” I mumbled, putting down my notebook and pen, going over to the window. I rolled my eyes and sighed once again as I pushed the windows aside and saw Cage, Jayden, and Cayden standing on my front lawn. I opened the window and poked my head out. “What do you guys want?”

“We want you to go to the hospital” Cayden replied.

“Would you just drop it? It’ll hurt too much for me to go and see him. You don’t know what I’ve been going through” I snapped.

“And you don’t know what we’re going through. You’re snapping at us, yelling at us, ignoring us” Cage replied, counting off on his fingers. “You’ve been making us feel like sh-“

“Language” Jayden hissed, elbowing Cage in the side.

“You’ve been making us feel like cr-“

“Language” Jayden insisted, pointing at Cayden.

“You’ve made us feel real bad” Cayden said, shaking her head. “Liam isn’t getting any better. Whenever we mention your name he moans to himself. The doctor says that’s common in coma patients.”

“So what?” I asked, leaning back into my room.

“Does your dad still hit you?” Jayden asked suddenly.

“What do you care, anyway?” I demanded.

“Oh, gee, maybe, I don’t know. . .you could get KILLED” he snapped.

“Stop shouting” dad yelled up the stairs. I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes,

“I have to go” I muttered. Before they could say anything else, I slammed my window shut and jumped onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“AT LEAST THINK ABOUT WHAT WE SAID” I heard the three of them yell.

I grabbed my song notebook and stared at the lyrics that I already wrote to the song that was dedicated to Liam. I read the words over and over. ‘You’re Guardian Angel. I guess. . .I guess I’m Liam’s guardian angel. Maybe I should go and see Liam. God knows, dad won’t go. But, I’d hate to give them the satisfaction of their being right. But, he needs me. . .and I need him’ I thought as I looked the words over.

And just like that, the rest of the words came to me. I spent the next four and a half hours, in the basement, writing notes about the songs and trying to decide which order the lines should go in and how the melody of the song would be.

Sighing, I went upstairs to my dad’s room and knocked on the door. I heard a shuffling sound behind the door before he threw it open, glaring down at me.

“What do you want?” he demanded.

“Um, could you drive me to the hospital?” I asked, looking away from his piercing gaze.

“Why should I?” dad demanded.

“Well, um, I have to see my brother” I replied. “I miss him not being here.”

“I like it better when he’s not here. It’s less food to prepare” dad said, crossing his arms, leaning in the doorway, and smirking. “It’s less complaining I have to here, its less parenting I have to do and its one less brat I have to see everyday, it’s-“

“SHUT UP” I yelled angrily. I gasped as dad slammed me into the wall of his bedroom, his hands pressing hard against my neck and stomach.

“I won’t take you anywhere if you talk to me like that again” dad hissed, his warm breath tickling my face. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir” I gasped.

“Good” dad replied. He broke out into a grin. “So, get your things and get in the car.” He let go of me and I stared at him in confusion.

“You’re going to drive me?” I asked.

“Yeah” he replied. “I have a date tonight anyway. So, I’m not going to be picking you up.”

“I’ll walk” I muttered, leaving his room and heading down the stairs. I grabbed Liam’s acoustic guitar and swung the case across my shoulders.

“What’s the guitar for?” dad asked.

“You don’t question me about what I’m going to do at the hospital and I won’t question you about your date” I replied.

“Deal” dad replied, swinging his lanyard around his right index finger.

I got into the back seat and stared out the window on the way to the hospital. As we got closer to the hospital, my heart beat faster in a nervous manner. I don’t know why, but I was really nervous to see him. I mean, it shouldn’t be any different seeing him, his bruises should be gone by now. It’ll only look like he’s asleep, that’s all.

“Here we are. Curfew is at 10:30” dad said, pulling up to the curb. I got out of the car, grabbed the guitar and slammed the door shut. I walked over to the driver’s side of the car and stared at my dad.

“You said you had a date right?” I asked, tilting my head.

“Yeah” he replied slowly. I smirked.

“Why have a curfew when you won’t be back by then?” I asked him.

I shook my head and went into the hospital, hearing dad laugh behind me. Then, my eyebrows narrowed in confusion. He was acting so much different then he would. I doubted he’s actually going on a date. I looked around the hospital, wincing at the sick/medicine smell. I never liked that smell.

I got into the elevator and took up to the sixth floor where Liam was on. My hands shook at my sides and I shoved them into my jeans pockets. I rounded the corner and froze when I saw Cayden, Cage, and Jayden sitting outside his room. Jayden was the first one to notice I was there.

“Well, well, well, look who’s here” he said, giving a small smirk. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, sitting a couple seats away from them. “So, what brings you here? It could be what we said could it?”

“Get off your high horse” I spat. “and stop being a smart aleck.”

“So I was right” Jayden replied with mock surprise. He lowered his voice as he walked over to me and sat down in the chair next to me. “Thanks for coming. He really wants you to be here and you weren’t doing yourself any good by ignoring what we said and ignoring your feelings.”

“Whatever” I muttered with a sigh.

I got up and walked to the window looking in at Liam. He was lying on his side. He did look asleep. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, an IV in his arm and other wires running off his body. He just looked asleep, nothing more.

“You can’t go in yet.” I turned and saw Dr. Anker walking up to me. I stared at him in disbelief. He gave a little chuckle. “I’m known to read minds in a situation like this. But, you can’t go in yet. I need to stretch his muscles so they won’t collapse when he wakes up. Occasionally, a massage will do.” I nodded slightly and watched sadly as he went into Liam’s room.

“It’s no problem” I mumbled to myself, sitting down in a chair. I sat there for a moment, staring at the floor. Then, I got up, pulling the guitar out of its case and walked back over to the window, holding the guitar pick tightly in my fingers. “This is dedicated to you, Liam. It’s called Your Guardian Angel. It took me a while to figure it out, but I’m your guardian angel and you’re mine.” I played a few chords, catching Jayden, Cage, and Cayden’s attention, leaned back slightly and started to play and sing the song I wrote:

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay, whoa, stay, whoa

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I set down the guitar and stared through the window, aware of three pairs of eyes stuck on me. I set down the guitar and pressed my forehead against the window.

“Wow” I heard Cage mutter. “When’d you write that?”

“Since Sunday. It’s taken me since Sunday to write it” I whispered in reply.

“It’s really good” Jayden mumbled.

“Thanks” I whispered, watching as Dr. Anker massaged the muscles in Liam’s back. He gently moved Liam onto his back and pulled the blanket back over him. “Liam wrote the first half.” I wheeled around to face Jayden. “In the same notebook that you wrecked.”

“It wasn’t my fault-I mean it is-but, you were the one-how could you call my dad?” Jayden demanded.

“You wouldn’t leave me alone” I hissed through clenched teeth.

“Well, thanks to you, I have a months worth og being grounded” Jayden snapped.

“It’s not like you won’t sneak out anyway” I retorted.

“Would you guys chill? Man, ever since Liam was put in the hospital, you’ve been arguing more than you’ve ever had in your lifetime” Cage said rolling his eyes.

“Look, your guys’ emotions towards Liam are making you argue more than you should” Cayden added.

“You can see Liam now” Dr. Anker said as he came out of the room. “There’s a red button on the remote on his bedside table if you need anything. Liam’s nurse will come and check on things if you press the button.”

“Yes, sir” we replied in unison.

“So, we’ll give you some time alone” Cayden said as she pushed her brother into Liam’s room and closed the door behind them. I sighed heavily and sat down on the floor, my back against a wall, strumming the guitar.

“Rhuben, we’re here for you” Jayden said quietly.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve got my back” I snapped.

“What’s wrong?” Jayden asked, sitting down next to me.

“You wouldn’t understand what I’ve been going through” I whispered, shaking my head.

“But, I want to understand” Jayden replied, leaning his head back.

“You just won’t, ok?” I asked impatiently. “Now, quit bugging me.”

“I’m not going to stop caring if that’s what you mean” Jayden replied, rolling his eyes. “I could never do that. I’ve cared about you too long to stop.”

“. . .Why do you always say stuff like that?” I asked quietly.

“Because I’ve known for a long time that you’ll never leave me and that I’ll always care about you” Jayden whispered. I sighed in reply and shook my head.

“Jayden, I don’t think this is going to work out” I muttered.

“W-what do you mean?” Jayden asked.

“Us. Your dad hates me, my dad hates me. You have to sneak out just to see me and I don’t know if I’ll live to the next day. Whenever you get caught sneaking out, you get into even more trouble, and you sneak out more to into more trouble” I replied.

“Rhuben, I’ll try and make it work if you try” Jayden replied.

“I don’t know if I want to do that right now. I mean, I’ve been having mixed feelings with Liam and-“

“I understand. But, I’m still, unofficially, your boyfriend and I always want to be with you” Jayden replied.

“Still the same. We told him that he was eight years old because his birthday was earlier this week and we saw a shadow of a smile on his face” Cayden said as she and Cage left Liam’s room.

Jayden got to his feet and went inside the room. Cayden and Cage sat down in their chairs and stared at me. “I’m going to play that song again for him.”

“What’s it called?” Cayden asked.

“You’re Guardian Angel” I replied with a small smile.

“Makes sense” Cage said with a nod. “So, how are things with you and Jayden?”

“Did you get a girlfriend yet?” I asked in reply, a smirk on my face.

“No” he replied.

“Well, there’s your answer” I replied with a small grin.

Cage gave me a confused look. Cayden shook her head with a ‘He’s-so-hopeless-how-am-I-related-to-him?’ look. I laughed to myself and realized that I did actually need all of them.

“All right, Rhuben, it’s your turn” Jayden said, leaving the room.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and got to my feet, tightening my grip on the neck of the guitar. I took in a shaky breath and went into Liam’s room. A steady beeping noise was the first thing I heard. Then, the soft breathing coming from Liam.

I sat down in a chair next to his bed and took his hand with my free one. His hand was slightly cold. I didn’t know what I really wanted to say.

“H-Hey, Liam. It’s me, Rhuben” I said in a quiet tone. “You’re eight years old now, your birthday was on Monday. You’ve been in a coma for five days now. The doctor said the chances of you waking up is very slim.”

I looked over at Liam’s peaceful face and could have sworn I felt his hand twitch. I didn’t think any more about it. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

“I finished the song we were writing. I’ve created a title for it too. It’s called Your Guardian Angel. I’ve soon realized that you’re my guardian angel and I’m yours. So, uh, the song goes like this.”

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay, whoa, stay, whoa

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I set down the guitar and took his hand again, raising it to my lips and kissing it. I looked over at him when I heard him let out a small moan. I shook my head sadly.

“I really miss you. I’m sorry I haven’t come earlier. I just-I just couldn’t face you. I was too scared” I said quietly. “Yeah, I know, I’m never scared, but I am when it comes to your well being. Dad has hit me now that you’ve gone. But, he’s been acting nicer too. I know, it doesn’t sound a thing like him. Jayden and I haven’t really been getting along recently.” I let out a sigh. “Liam, I can’t live without you, please come back to me.”

I took his hand again and gently caressed it with my thumb. I felt tears coming to my eyes once again. I wiped them away with my free hand, but more of them came. I took in a shaky breath and looked over at Liam’s face. I got up and kissed him on the forehead, tears sliding down my cheeks. I sat back down in the chair and started at my feet.

“I’m going to stay here as long as I can, Liam” I whispered, lying my head on his bed. “Dad won’t pick me up anyway.” I wiped at my tears once more and closed my eyes. “I’ll just rest my eyes for a while. This way I can stay with you.”

I sat up, surprised to see myself lying in a field. I looked down at myself and saw that I was wearing all white. My hair was even white, but I still had the purple dyed lock in it.

“Where am I?” I asked, getting to my feet and looking around. I wasn’t scared, I was relaxed for some reason. Everything seemed so calm and natural to me. “Can anybody hear me?”

“I can hear you.”

I turned around and looked up into the only tree that was sitting behind me. A smile came onto my face. The familiar boy jumped out of the tree. He was wearing all white too. His hair was white and he still had that black lock in it.

“Liam” I said breathlessly. He smiled his dimpled smile and walked into my arms, giving me a hug. “Where are we?”

“Where I’ve always been” Liam said with a shrug. “You said I’ve been here for five days now?”

“So, this is where you’ve been while you were in a coma?” I asked, lifting him into my arms.

“Yeah, it’s really peaceful here” he replied with a nod.

“Why am I here?” I asked, bewildered. “I’m not in a coma.”

“You’re just asleep. But, you’ve been wanting to see me again. This is the only place where you can” Liam replied with a shrug. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too” I replied quietly.

“Something wrong?” Liam asked, tilting his head to the side, the smile still on his face.

“I’m just happy I can see you” I replied with a smile.

“I can’t stay long though” Liam replied.

“What do you mean?”

“There are times while I’m in the coma that I can hear you and fell your emotions and at other times where I can’t hear or feel anything at all. I’m in a dark place. It’s really scary” Liam replied.

“How much longer can you stay?” I asked.

“I can’t say. Sometimes its for a long time and at others only for seconds” Liam replied with a shrug. The smile never left his face though.

“How have you been getting on? Are you in any pain?” I asked.

“Only when you get hit by dad. Other than that, no, I’m fine. It just feels like I’m in a dream” Liam said, opening his arms and spinning in circles. His hair whipped around his face. “Nothing can hurt me here. I’m happy.”

“So you don’t want to come and stay with me? You don’t want to get out of the coma?” I asked.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m happy that nothing can hurt me here. But, I’ll be even more happy once I get back to you. For real” Liam replied with a big sigh. He shook his head, his blue eyes twinkling.

“I missed that twinkle in your eyes” I said quietly.

“I missed that twinkle in your eyes” Liam replied with a grin. “I’ve missed everything about you. I’ve missed everything about Cayden, Cage, and Jayden. I’ve missed all of you.”

“Yeah, our lives weren’t-What’s the matter?” I asked, seeing the horrified look on his face.

“I have to go” Liam replied sadly, letting go of my hand.

“So soon?” I asked just as sad.

“I’m sorry” Liam replied.

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, not wanting to let him go.

“There’s something you can do that I can’t” Liam replied quietly.

“What’s that?” I asked, as Liam started walking backwards. I grabbed onto his arm and pulled, but he wouldn’t stop walking backwards.

“Do what you’re doing right now” Liam replied. “Fight back.”

Tears started to slid down my face. I grabbed onto both of Liam’s wrists and pulled back as hard as I could. My feet slid across the ground as we passed the tree. I grabbed onto a low tree branch with one hand and kept a firm grip on Liam’s hand with the other.

“Don’t give up” Liam said, the smile coming back to his face.

I felt a warm feeling go through me and I tried pulling once again. I held my breath as I pulled as hard as I could. I stared in amazement as I saw Liam’s feet sliding on the grass, in the direction that Rhuben was pulling.

“Don’t give up” Liam repeated. “I have faith in you. I love you.”

“I love you too” I replied, breathlessly.

My hand slipped down his wrist, but I grabbed onto his hand. Liam contorted his face and pulled. With a loud crack, Liam slammed into me. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, tears slipping down our cheeks. . .

“Rhuben” I heard a really faint whisper.

I felt a hand tighten around mine and I sat up. I looked around and remembered that I was in the hospital. I looked over at Liam. His eyelids were fluttering and his grip on my hand tightened even more.

“Rhuben” his mouthed moved as he whispered.

“I’m right here. I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m still right here” I replied quietly. I watched, a smile coming onto my face as his eyes slowly opened. He blinked twice and closed them again. “Liam?”

“Don’t worry, I’m awake. I just need to get used to all of this” he replied in a quiet, yet strong voice.

“I’ll be right back” I said, gently squeezing his hand. I rushed over to the door and threw it open. “He’s awake. He woke up.”

“What?” Cage and Cayden asked in unison.

“Dr. Anker” Jayden called. “Dr. Anker, he’s awake. Liam woke up.”

I rushed back into the room and sat down, taking his hand again. Liam gently squeezed it, a smile coming to his face. His dimples showed in his face again, the ones that I wished to see.

“I loved the song that you-we wrote. It sounded so good. You’re voice really compliments the song” Liam said quietly as Cage, Cayden, and Jayden, shortly followed by Dr. Anker, came into the room.

“Yeah, uh, sorry I didn’t get you a birthday gift” I said quietly as I stroked Liam’s hand with my thumb.

“You’re the best birthday gift I could ever get” Liam replied with a grin as Dr. Anker sat him up, sticking the ear pieces of his stethoscope in his ears and putting the round end on his back. Liam breathed in deeply. He did that a couple more times.

“How do you feel Liam?” Dr. Anker asked.

“Like I just woke up from sleeping for a day” Liam replied, stretching. I saw Dr. Anker tap his chin thoughtfully.

“It’s great to have you back, bud” Cage said with a grin.

“We’ve really missed you” Jayden added.

“Life hasn’t been the same without you” Cayden added.

“I missed you all too” Liam replied, his dimples deepening as his grin grew wider.

“Could the three of you leave for a moment?” Dr. Anker said, motioning to Cage, Jayden, and Cayden.

“Yeah, sure” Jayden replied. The three of them exchanged glances and left the room.

“Is something wrong?” I asked quietly.

“Liam could you open your eyes for me?” Dr. Anker asked quietly.

“Yeah, sure” Liam said with a shrug. He opened his eyes fully. “Wait, I can’t see. Why can’t I see?” My heart dropped as I heard the fear in his voice. Dr. Anker looked over Liam’s eyes. I looked at them too. They looked milky.

“Just as I feared” he whispered.

“Rhuben, I can’t see. Why can’t I see?” Liam shrieked, reaching out his arms. I took his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m right here” I said quietly. Liam calmed down a little bit.

“I’m afraid that Liam is now blind” Dr. Anker said with a heavy sigh.

“B-Blind? I’ll never be able to see?” Liam asked quietly. “Ever?”

“I’m sorry son” Dr. Anker said, shaking his head. “But, you won’t be able to see for the rest of your life. I suggest getting a seeing-eye dog.”

“I’m sorry Liam” I whispered.

“B-but, how’d I get blind?” Liam asked quietly. “I mean, da-“

“When we were getting beat up on the way home, some dude shined a bright light in each of your eyes for over five minutes” I replied, squeezing Liam’s hand. He fell silent, understanding what I did.

“What about school? What about band practice? What about my guitar? What about movies? What about TV? How will I swim? How will I get to and from school? What about my life at home? How will I read or do my homework?” Liam asked all in one breath.

“Relax, we’ll take life one day at a time” I said quietly. “Cage, Cayden, Jayden, and I will always be here to help you.”

“All right. Bring them in so I can tell them” Liam replied quietly, bowing his head. A crystal tear slipped down his cheek. . .

T H E E N D