A/N: Finally, I’ve put something up!!! This is (obviously) a series of haikus written by my friends and me during school. More specifically, during French and pre-calculus. Please keep in mind that we are NOT professional poets and therefore have basically no talent what-so-ever in the field. There. I expect no “you can’t write haikus, moron” reviews now. If I get any, you are going DOWN! (har har) But really. Science is my thing, not poems. Really, science is more useful anyway.

Disclaimer: Any haiku with an initial in parentheses at the beginning is not mine, but a friend’s. Jedi, Obi-Wan, bits of the French language, U of I, the physics department, Sethe, John Stossel, Air Force One, Mr. Sherman, Nauheimer, Schultz, Gwyn, Davey, Andrew/Drew, Dora, “So long and thanks for all the fish,” and Dewey Dell are all NOT MINE.

Haikus!!!

Jedi are way cool

(Obi-Wan is my hero)

they are all dead, though

(D)

Where is my journal

Nobody has theirs with them

Augh! Zut, zut, et zut!

(D)

not saying a word

walking directly behind me

I hope we don’t crash

Physics department

Loves U of I with a burn-

Ing passion, oddly

(G)

the fish in the trees

fly fast before the wind flow

sleep slow in the stream

Refrigerator

Encyclopedia man

Physics class is odd

I don’t want a quiz

French class drives me batty, ma’am

Madam is not here!

(W)

Men like to do cows

Because Sethe the new girl

Will not marry them

(D)

sin cos cos

sin does not fit the meter

it makes me morose

I hate my first name

Katherine is overused

Dora is unique

(D)

old ladies have it

once a romantic novel

squeaky latino

(D)

he reproduces

getting smaller and smaller

talk about painful

Tu aime les poireaux

Je ne peux pas espeller

L’ail est mon hero

(you like leeks

I can’t spell

Garlic is my hero)

Sherman’s hair is spikey

Dang, too many syllables

But who really cares?

(D)

I care immensely

The world hangs in the balance

Of a good meter

Shakespeare would agree

Iambic pentameter

Is his own life force

(D)

my life force is pens

I’ll collect all sorts tonight

Give the schools false hope

Davey, tu le sais… (Davey, you know it..)

Fifteen pickles in a jar

Dora hates silence

(D)

roll call confusion

it interrupts my haiku

here, here, present, here

(D)

I hope you don’t care

If I ruin this page now

With stupid haikus

I don’t mind at all

Should replace day of silence

With must speak haikus

(D)

I adore sharpies

I wish I had some with me

I would have some fun

Recall summer school

Great John Stossel and our greed?

I liked Air Force One

(D)

John Stossel is so amazing

He merits more syllables

He is worth hundreds

I love his mustache

“Are we greedy or just some?

How much is too much?”

(D)

I am so greedy

For the glory of Johnny

Stossel’s a cool name

I ran out of in-

Spiration and look at cool

Hyphenationing

(D)

You left out an h

Sports are dropping off like flies

Zut zut zut the bell

We are writing poems

During pre-calculus class

This one is so dumb

(W)

Stupid board problems

Who ever likes to do them?

Yay easy Sloan bucks!

Schultz dropped Gwyn’s calc ‘gain.

Stop looking over my head

To read my haiku

(W)

I’m not looking to

Read your horrible haiku

McCarthyism

Refrigerator

You tall saxophone playing

Child named Andrew

(W)

My name’s not Andrew!

Well, I guess it really is…

Pretend my name’s Drew

Gwyn is growing old

She can’t get into her desk

We are better, Drew!

(W)

I am having fun

Why is this so amusing?

Yay not doing math

Nauheimer and Schultz

Will not let Gwyn through the isle

She will walk on them

(W)

Gwynneth is so cool

Firefly-Serenity

Let’s all be like her

(G)

That’s a good idea

People should all be like me

It’s because I’m cool

54321

these are important math facts

five factorial

(W)

77

75 1/2

one five two point five

I love math haikus

I will turn to the Dark Side

If leave, they might do

(W)

circle, ellipse, line

asymptote, hypotenuse

hyperbolas

the duck says add

ellipses here they are three

dots in a line, yeah!

(W)

Hi Gwyn! How u?

The duck says: duh Duh duh

Duh Duh Duh duh Quack!

Check out this new page!

Haikus dominate the world

Anti Gwyn desk guild

(W)

Anti Drew Sandwich

Corporation Guild Bwah ha

ADSCG

Corporation Guild

Does not have 7 sylla-

Bles. ha ha you lose

(W)

Look back up there now

I corrected my mistake

Big green hand grenades

Here is a haiku

The important word Is the

Last one looks it’s: Bwah!

(W)

Bwah ha ha ha ha

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha

Unoriginal

Unoriginal

Unoriginality

Unoriginal

(W)

Distinguishable

Apples are very boring

I want to sleep now

If you go to sleep

Please try not to snore at me

Have dreams about fish

(G)

I will say one thing:

So long, and thanks for all the

Fish fish fish FISH FISH

Yah, I love those books!

To fly: fall and forget

To hit the ground, woo!

(W)

Davey is silly

Something is bothering Dave

Now he is confused

Does he know you wrote

A fast haiku about him

Space question mark, la

(W)

I don’t think he knows

What a little Davey he is

Sorting his apples

Oh my God, my mind!

Thank you for that, Andrew Bob

Go sort apples, now

(W)

I hate sorting things

Especially like apples

Groan groan mumble groan

(W)

Now Davey it is

Your turn to write a Haiku

Go 5-7-5

(K)

Wait just a moment

I need to pay attention

Quit these silly games!

(G)

Katie it’s your turn

How do I respond to that?

Apologizing

Look up Dewey Dell

On google because she is

Very scary…fish!

Question: How the stars

Is that a haiku, eh bud?

Bugger, blast, cad!

A/N: Thanks so much for humoring me and reading this! Please review (and I will answer flames with anger and a torch blower)! So please don’t waste your time telling me these are bad, ok? Ok.