fatality

my heart is breaking (again).

these words are empty.
this feeling is numb and
.can’.this.

(oh, it hurts so much in ways
that bleeding could never show.)

and i never knew that guilt could hurt this much.
i only wish i could make everything disappear.
(after all, haven’t we always wanted to disappear?)
we could be nothingness, my dear, and we could
be like that forever. because it seems that i won’t
be able to escape this bleeding. how silly it was
for me to say, “just this once and never again.”

now i know that we could go back.
no matter how many memories
we decided to bring back or
how many we decide to bury.

(and i buried mine in the backyard,
scratching at fresh scars too long ago.)

we’ll barricade ourselves and build walls
as long as we never have to feel any pain.