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I was riding as hard as I could, straining the muscles in my legs to peddle faster. The only thought I had right now was to keep going, to keep going and never again turn back. The landscape rushed past me in a blur, but I kept my vision focused on one thing; what was directly in front of me at the time. First it was a rock, then a dead bird with its feathers all ruffled and one eye glaring at nothing, reflecting what could be seen if it was alive. My tummy rumbled but fear controlled my hunger. Now it was a tree that was far off in the distance. It stood their, so still and lifeless. It had an eerie, almost depressing look about it. But I knew I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I couldn’t risk getting distracted with thoughts of obliteration. I couldn’t stop to pause or think. Because then I might not have the strength to continue, the will power to keep going forward. For if I didn’t, I would be stranded where I first began, without satisfying my curiosity, my hopes and my appetite. I kept staring at the tree, as it came closer and closer. Suddenly a wave of tiredness came over me, much like a bucket of cold icy water. I straightened myself instantly, trying desperately to keep control. But the bike still twisted and brought me to the ground. My head ached terribly and painfully, my eyes watered and blurred my vision and my tummy growled.

I felt an urge to just lay here. Lay here until they found me. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want any more tests; I couldn’t stand another excruciating experiment. I was different. I had known that all my life. But that didn’t mean I shouldn’t get a chance to live, to be free. Deep down I knew what my destiny was, to die. That would save countless lives. I knew I was a monster, and dangerous. I wasn’t meant for this world. There was no hope, no doubt that I would die one way or another. And yes, I was scared of it, hell I was practically running away from death. But first I wanted to see this place, this earth, this land that had turned its back on me. The people who had outcasted me. Was it because they feared me, or just because they didn’t understand my ways. Either way I was doomed, nothing could stop that know. I had been created and breed for destruction. I knew that. All I ever thought about was death and brining it to others. Yes I dreamed of freedom but my other side, my darker side, always took over. Murder was all I could really think about. It ran in my very veins. I was formed and designed for one purpose. To inflict pain and suffering on others. Even now I could feel this desire to end another’s life build up and swell uncontrollable inside of me. Only now there was no one to sedate me. I was alone and now fully aware that leaving was a bad idea. I came to a stop, my heart pumping and my eras ringing at the site of humans. People. Not just any people, but little people. Children who were enjoying their lives, unaware of the horrors that they were now facing. The very thing that now threatened their existence.

Inside of me a battle raged. How could I take a life, especially one so young? But the desperation to feed took over all emotions that I might have felt, if I could feel emotions that is. However, I knew that the killer that lived within me would spare no soul. I quietly picked myself up and crept forward; the scent of happiness was overwhelming and made me more desperate to drain the lives of these children. No longer did I have control. I had only one thought, one desire which was to slaughter all those who oppose me. To punish them for the sins of others.

“Do not do it.” A soft voice said, breaking through my thoughts and starvation, cutting all desire for causing agony and torment. My mind was programmed for destruction, but all that eased off when I stared into the two deep clear blue skies that indulged me so, who were staring back at me. Like bright blue piercing diamonds that could burn my eyes. And her lips, those beautiful faint lips that stoped the beating of my heart. There was also the pale yet elegant face, and the strands of silver hair that seemed to dance in the air. What was this thing, this girl? She could not be human. She is to perfect and delicate. Though she resembles just that, a human like the rest, her features forbid me to think of her as one, as if she is faultless.

“Walk with me.” She whispered, and I knew it was not a suggestion but a demand. I could have refused, gone back to my hunting. But her voice was enough to make me shatter into a million pieces. It scared me so, yet for some reason, I obeyed. As if I had lost control of my own body, and she was now controlling it with her simple expressions.

So walk we did, up and up we went. For ages we walked in silence, just staring intently at each other. She smiled simply yet captivating, her eyes sparkling and entrancing me in their beauty, and I just stared back. My features remained emotionless and showing nothing of these unknown feelings that raged beneath. She ran, I did to. She sat and I followed.

“I know what you are.” She told me and I nodded. It was all I could to. Somewhere in my mind a little voice was telling me to kill her, to feed my vengeance. But every time I looked into her charming face, and every time she spoke in her soft voice, the little rebuttal became fainter and fainter, its arguments drowned by the sound of her voice. As if she was killing the monster within with kindness.

“A demon.” I replied but she shook her head and started twirling her hair in her fingertips. My eyes opened as I gazed upon her reactions as if it was the only thing alive.

“Not to me.” She said.

“Then what am I?” I asked. I was desperate to know her answer; I had always considered myself a demon because my true nature had always been hidden. I had never considered myself as anything else. I looked at her, waiting for her reply, but it never came. She just smiled and took my hand. I jumped at her touch; it felt so warm in my cold ones. She stood up, pulling me alongside her, and I was still wondering why I wasn’t devouring her when she brushed her lips over mine. For a split second everything stopped. Then she broke off, smiling. She seemed amused by my reaction. Why was I so calm? I thought to myself, did I just enjoy that? I was so confused; I couldn’t make sense of these weird feelings. None of it made sense. She leaned over again. Capturing my lips in hers, deepening the kiss which made my whole body feel weak and numb. It lasted only a minute, but it felt like an eternity. I fell to the ground; the overcrowded thoughts were killing and thumping through my head.

“What are you?” I hissed and she giggled, her laugh was like music to my ears making me shiver with excitement. But it wasn’t the usual excitement I felt before a hunt; it was much more pleasurable and satisfying. She bent down and smiled at me, but all I could do was stare back.

“You will see.” She whispered, before she turned and walked away. Her body moving so elegantly and captivating in the wind, her figure looked so delicate and fragile. Then she was gone, leaving me alone on the hill above the world.

For days I would sit their, waiting for her to come. Each day she would be more beautiful then before. She would appear like that and sit next to me, taking my icy hands into her soft ones, and we would just stay like that. My dark eyes, once filled with such hate were now just dark orbs of emptiness, staring into her peaceful smile. Much was said, yet no words were ever spoken. Except for the one question I asked every day before she left

“What are you?” Yet a smile was always my only reply. It was an addiction. I thought of nothing, no obliteration or annihilation of someone’s life. I thought of nothing but her, and staring into that sweet face of hers.

For years this went on, and each day a tiny bit of inner rage and fury would leave my body forever. As if the monster within was slowly being silenced by her presence. Every day she would appear and we would sit through the day, then through the hours of the night I would remain alone, to think and ponder about her and only her. For the first time in my life I was not scared, nor full of hatred. I felt so empty, yet I was happy. I think I was happy anyway. I never quite knew or understood what happiness was, but I hoped this was it. I knew that death still stalked me, but no longer did I care. I lived for that day and that day only. Not caring about yesterday, or giving any thought about tomorrow. I just lived in the moment.

Then one day it all ended, the sparkle went out and my body craved for it because it knew that it will never be seen by me again. I had no clear idea of how it had come about; I barely register the shocked look on her face, or remember as she tumbled down to her fate. All I could see was the beauty that was her, lying in a pool of blood. Her own crimson red blood. There was a sharp glass sticking out of her head, between to two piercing diamonds, and a trickle of red silently ran down her face. She smiled up at me, the light in her eyes slowly fading. Just like her life. Once again I asked her the question, the one I had asked so frequently, the one I had to know before it was too late.

“What are you?” I burned to know and this time she replied.

“I am your angle.” As she slowly died, the smile remaining on her face, she closed her eyelids, shutting her life from mine. Leaving me kneeling beside her, lost in the moment as thoughts whirled around inside my head. Then their was another substance to mix in with the pool of blood. It was little droplets pouring from my eyes. They were tears, my tears. I couldn’t stop them, for I didn’t know how they started or what was causing them. All I could do was sit here, while they continued to fall. I felt completely out of control.

How could this be, and what was the terrible feeling that had washed over me. This terrible agonizing pain that had no visible sign, it was like I was being torn into a million pieces. Was it sympathy, or maybe even grief? I had heard of those emotions but was never able to feel them. This constant ache in my heart was too overbearing, this pain was like torture or worse.

I grabbed the glass that had taken my only hope, my only chance at redemption away, and stabbed it through my flesh. Right into my heart. At first their was a searing stab, much like a sting as the glass entered my body, but then their was nothing. No sadness or pain. No confusion, longing or misery. There was only numbness, and a sense of peace. So I lay down next to her, my eyes still staring into her face as I felt my blood trickle from the wound and combine into her own. Then it came to me, a sudden sense of relief flowed through me when realization struck. I knew what the unknown feeling was that had caused me so much pain. It was love. Something I had never thought I could ever feel. Something I was long ago told was beyond my capability. Yet their it was; love. Burning so strong and deep that nothing I could do could possibly extinguish it. Then before I drifted into the sleep of death, to be with her once more, I did something else I had never done before. I smiled.

By Rebecca Martin