I was born in the early 1700’s to a family that didn’t want me. And to make matters worse I was a girl, not the son my father wished for. My mother decided to keep me so I could help her around the house. My father said that was fine, but he wasn’t going to like me. Over time I think he almost grew fond of me, but then the worst happened.

Trying to make my father like me, I had spent all night packing him a lunch for when he went out fishing. When I woke up, I realized he had left it here, so I asked my mom to deliver it to him (I was to young to go out of the house.) She smiled to me her special smile she did whenever I tried to do the right thing, and said she’d go straight away to take it to him.

She left the house a few minuets later. If I had known what was going to happen, I would have never let her go.

While waiting for my mother to come home I decided to cook something for her and I lost track of time. My father came home smiling and asked where my mother was.

I remember thinking that he was playing a joke on me, so I laughed and said ‘she’s with you of course!’ I can still imagine his face looking confused for a second before turning red with anger as he slapped me. He had said that if I didn’t tell him where my mother was, he was going to whip me until I did.

Suddenly realizing he wasn’t joking. I cried out to him that it had to be true because I had not seen her since she left with the lunch I packed him. He then yelled at me, he called me a liar, and said she had never went to the docks with a lunch, and he hadn’t seen her since the morning.

I started begging him not to whip me. I was still trying to convince him that he had to have seen her because I had been all alone for the past couple of hours, waiting for her to get home.

He didn’t believe me, he grew more furious by the second. I don’t know what change his mind, but he decided that I was telling the truth. He told me he was going to look for her, but he was going to get Jack, our stable boy and also gardener, to watch over me. I heard him whispering to Jack, telling him he thinks that the murderer that’s been killing all those women has gotten his wife, so he’s searching for him. Jack said nothing but didn’t protest to watching me. He lost his wife to the murderer before he came to work for us, and knew that my father would want to find his beloved. He also knew that the chances of finding the murderer were very low on account that nearly everyone in the city has searched for him for 2 years now.

I tried to stay awake to make sure that dad had found mom but I couldn’t. When I awoke the next day I found my father in a corner with streaks of tears flowing down his eyes. I went over to comfort him but before I reached him he yelled at me to get away saying it was my fault his wife was dead.

I couldn’t believe it at the time, my mother couldn’t be dead, she just couldn’t.

I spent the next days crying and mourning my mother’s death.

Looking back now, I see that during this period was when my heart grew cold and I didn’t care if I hurt others. I also saw that that day would forever mark the day my life went downhill.

My name is Sora, and I lost my mom to a vampire, as I would later find out. I lived the rest of my life after that wishing that things had been different. Wondering what my life would have been like if I had never lost her. Then again, where would I be now if things had been different? Certainly not here, that’s for sure.

Authors note: hello all –waves- well those of you who read fics under cirque du freak from fanfiction probably already read this. But I tweaked it a bit, changed and maintained the same perspective (hopefully,) redid a few sentences that I have no clue how people understood, then added this last paragraph here. Yes well I’m changing this story from my fanfic one because well, hopefully this one will make more sense (to both of us,) and so I can remember what happened, the time frame, and all that jazz. Oh and the character’s will change, some –cough- most stuff will change, but not by much…hopefully. And for the majority of people who haven’t read this already, well hopefully you won’t be confused like I am…and you lucky people you, don’t have to wait months for the next chapter, seeing as how I have 8 of them up on fanfic and it won’t take me long to tweak it and change it to how I like. –nods- I’m excited for this oddly. I hope you enjoyed reading it, review if you wish, and criticism will be appreciated as long as it makes sense. Flame to if you want –shrugs- their fun to read. Sorry this is so long, I’ll try keeping these author notes shorter.