-1-

“What's the matter?”

“Nothing!”

My boyfriend nudged me into the opposite corner of the couch like a pillow. I felt anger sear through my body.

“You can’t honestly mean that!” I shouted, “You just pushed me off your lap!”

“That’s because you’re a bad kisser!” Evan shouted back.

There was a painful silence. I shook my head in disgust and tore myself away from the seat. My feet lead me to the front door, which was across from where I was sitting.

“Kayla, wait.” He grasped my wrist just before I turned the doorknob.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” Evan whirled me around and stared at me straight in the eye. For a moment, I felt myself drowning again in those gorgeous hazel pools called eyes. They were so strong and determined, so full of promises… I quickly recovered myself and looked away.

“Look,” Evan said, intertwining his gentle fingers with mine, “I don’t know why I said that, but I was being stupid. I’ve just been under a lot of pressure lately with exams and stuff.”

“So have I,” I said, “It’s the end of the school year for everybody, but you never see me going around calling my boyfriend a bad kisser!”

“I know you don’t.” His eyes were now closed tight, “I just… I don’t know.” He released my fingers.

I examined his masculine face. Beautiful brown hair toppled over half of his eyelids. His nose was heightened at a lovely angle, casting a triangular shadow over his top lip.

“Don’t act as if I don’t know,” I muttered calmly, “I’ve noticed something different about you these last two weeks. You’ve been acting strange around me.”

His eyes met mine and glanced away quickly.

“Evan,” I breathed, “We need to talk. You keep doing this.”

He shifted around uncomfortably and then finally touched my elbow. I could see the sunlight on his cheek.

“Evan, please…”

To my surprise, my boyfriend’s hand swung away from me and hit the wall with a loud thud. I jumped in astonishment.

With that, I turned around and threw the door open. I then closed it with a tiny click behind me, like nothing had happened inside. Fury, rage, anger. I felt all these things as I marched my way down the street. But after a while, after the initial hostility had worn off, something I realized made me burst into tears.

He never even said I was a good kisser after all.

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-2-

“He did what?”

I was freaking out and ready to slice the table in half. My eyes were bubbling with madness, nearing an explosion of tears. I slammed down the phone without a thought.

Seconds later, I realized what I had done, and redialed the number, muttering curses under my breath. The same voice answered my call.

“Matt, I’m so sorry I hung up like that,” I groaned.

“It’s ok, you’re upset,” my best friend replied, “Are you going to be alright? Should I come over?”

“No,” I said, “But you could tell me who it was.”

No answer.

“Matt, please,” I pressed, squeezing the phone wire, “I know you saw who it was. Just tell me who.”

“Kayla, you do know that if I told you, I’d be betraying someone else.”

“Ah! So you do know who it was!” My tone was getting increasingly harsher, “Do I know the person? Is she someone close to me?”

No answer again.

“Is it Steph?”

“No.”

“Is it Erin?”

“No, and you’re not getting anywhere with this!” Matt said, “I thought you ought to know what happened, but that is all that I’m saying.”

“Yeah, you call me up and say ‘Uh, well I saw your boyfriend cheating on you with one of your friends, but I’m not going to say who it was.’ Ok, let’s get this straight. I’m not happy with this situation.”

“I’m so sorry, Kayla. If I said who it was, then I wouldn’t be able to face them again. I mean, they’re not bad but…”

“But what?”

I tapped impatiently on the wall I was leaning on, trying not to cry. I could hear my best friend breathing deeply into the phone. He was making a decision on something.

“Kayla, I thought you broke up with Evan? You can’t call him your boyfriend anymore.”

“Wha- No, I didn’t. Well, not really. What makes you think that?”

A strange feeling of uncertainty lingered in his voice.

“I dunno… I thought, you like walked out and…” Matt muttered something inaudible.

“Yeah, that happened…”

I stopped. Something wasn’t right. I felt confusion click in my brain.

“Matt, where did you hear that? I never told anybody what happened yesterday.”

“Just tell me what happened after that.”

“After I walked out?” I thought for a moment.

“Well… I didn’t say ‘It’s over’ or anything like that. We were just having a fight and I asked to talk to him about it. When Evan didn’t say anything, I got angry and stormed out of his house. He probably thought I broke up with him.”

“Ah, ok…”

“Ok, now you have to tell me how you found out?” I demanded, “I’m almost positive that I didn’t tell anybody. Did Evan call up on you?”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Then who did? I’m really weirded out right now.”

“Um, I have to go now.”

I sighed. This was not working out.

“Tell me who it was? The girl?”

“I’ll talk to you later, Kayla.”

Click. Dial tone.

I hung my head like the loser of the race.

How did Matt find out what happened yesterday? I didn’t tell anyone, there wasn’t enough time to… Maybe somebody on the street saw me. Who lives around Evan that I know?

I counted my fingers. There was Caddy that lived down the street, and Yuki lived two blocks away. Dan and Paul lived relatively close to Evan and they could have been skateboarding by during the incident.

Oh! Kaitlin Langsing! She lived right across the street from him! My brain was racing: Kaitlin… Kaitlin… Ah ha. I remembered that one time last year I heard she had a crush on Evan. But could she feel that way now? It’s been more than a year, her feeling probably changed after I started going out with him. But still, Kaitlin lives so close to him, anything was possible.

I decided that I was going to visit her after my exam tomorrow morning. Of course, being around Evan’s house would be extremely awkward, but I needed to know.

I sat myself down on a chair and stared up at the ceiling.

Evan… Don’t even think about him, Kayla. He’s an asshole, making out with another girl and stuff. You can just forget about him.

I rested my tired head in the hollow of my bent elbow, my black hair tumbling over the table. Breathe in… Breathe out.

He’s no good for you, Kayla. You’re free now, free as a bird! You can do anything you want now. You can go out and be a slut if you want.

I chuckled to myself at my weird thoughts.

Then… why do I still feel so empty?

My fingers traced an invisible heart on the surface on the desk. I closed my eyes in exhaustion.

Because I still have feelings for him.

That’s why.

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TO BE CONTINUED!!!