Summary: She was me and I was her. We were one yet separate. And then he came and tried to piece myself together…

A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading! This is a new style I am experimenting with and things might be changed as I go through…we'll see….In the original format, the words in bold were meant to go on the right side of the page, but fictionpress won't let me do that tear so I just put it in bold so it looks different….you'll probably see what I mean in later chapters…Dialogue (of any kind) is in the center and italics are thoughts (mostly…could also be a stress sign)

How to Fly While Falling:

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"Just answer the question."

Her voice is soft, pleading
She looks at me with wide eyes
I look away
but I can still see her
in my eyes
I can never escape her

"It's just an answer. How can it hurt to speak?"

She is coming closer to me and I hold myself in protection

How can it hurt me?
Every time I show you, I feel pain.
Every time I confront you, I can't stop crying.
Every time I speak your words they cut my tongue.

I don't speak to her
I haven't spoken to her in a long time
but she understands

She is more beautiful than me
For she is everything I am not

Perhaps it is because she shows all that she is
while I hide myself away
Her aura is untainted
while mine is clouded with hidden thoughts

She leans close to me
Her bright eyes weighing down on me

"You know that I love you."

Shut up!

I scream
pushing her away

Why do you do that?
Why do you insist on creeping under my skin
and making me feel your touch?

Tears push against my eyes
but I know if I let them free
I'll never be able to stop them
I press my hands against my face

Why am I like this?
Why can't I be normal?

I feel her warm hands over my cold ones
pulling them away
She smiles at me
a sad, lonely smile

"It's because you are afraid of me.
It's because you are afraid of yourself."

She is myself

She holds the emotion
Love
Hate
Want
The side of me that makes me feel

"I can hold you
only if you let me."

She lets go of my hands
She knows why I push her away
It's an effort to protect myself

From what?

At one point I knew
But I have forgotten and fear
what I do not remember

I will show her occasionally
a feeling of happiness or content
Never hate
Never fear
Never love

For those I push her away
She leans her head on my shoulder
sighing into my tangled hair

"Can you please just answer the question?"

Her voice is pleading
I hesitate, feeling her pressing against me

I hate you.

Even though I don't
say it aloud
the tears pour down my cheeks
She leans up and kisses them

and all I feel is her pain