Summary: She was me and I was her. We were one yet separate. And then he came and tried to piece myself together…

A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading! This is a new style I am experimenting with and things might be changed as I go through…we’ll see….In the original format, the words in bold were meant to go on the right side of the page, but fictionpress won’t let me do that tear so I just put it in bold so it looks different….you’ll probably see what I mean in later chapters…Dialogue (of any kind) is in the center and italics are thoughts (mostly…could also be a stress sign)

How to Fly While Falling:

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“Just answer the question,”

Her voice is soft, pleading. She looks at me with wide eyes.
Showing every part of her soul to me.
I look away.
But I can still see her in my eyes.
I can never escape her.

“It’s just an answer. How can it hurt to speak?”

She is coming closer to me.
And I hold myself in protection.

How can it hurt me?
How can it not hurt me.
Every time I show you, I feel pain.
Every time I confront you, I can’t stop crying.
Every time I speak your words they cut my tongue.
Making me bleed your essence.

I didn’t speak to her.
I haven’t spoken to her in a long time.
But she understands all the same.
I look at her now.
She is more beautiful than me.
Her face is clear and her hair is perfect.
Unlike mine.

She is everything I am not.
I am not sure why.
Perhaps it is because she shows all that she is.
While I hide myself away.
Her aura is untainted.
While mine is clouded with hidden thoughts.
She leans close to me.
Her brighter eyes weighing me down.

“You know that I love you,”

Shut up!

I scream in my head, pushing her away.

Why do you do that?
Why do you insist on creeping under my skin and making feel your touch?

I can feel the tears pushing against my eyes.
But I know if I let them free.
I’ll never be able to stop them.
I press my hands against my face.

Why am I like this?
Why can’t I be normal?

I feel her warm hands over my cold ones.
Pulling them away.
She smiles at me.
A sad, lonely smile.

“It’s because you are afraid of me.
It’s because you are afraid of yourself,”

Her words are true.
She is myself.
The side of me that holds emotion.
The side of me that is more confident.
Loving.
Hating.
Wanting.
The side of me that makes me feel

“I can hold you, only if you let me,”

She lets go of my hands.
She knows that I constantly push her away.
In an effort to protect myself.

From what?

At one point I knew.
But I have forgotten and fear what I do not remember.
I will show her occasionally.
A feeling of happiness or content.

Never hate.
Never fear.
Never love.
For those I push her away.
She leans her head on my shoulder.
Sighing into my tangled hair.

“Can you please just answer the question?”

Her voice is pleading.
I hesitate, feeling her pressing against me.

“I hate you,”

I say it aloud and the tears pour down my cheeks.
She leans up and kisses them.
And all I feel is her pain.