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101 Ways to Torment the Telemarketers
Summary: If you hate Telemarketers, and you're brave enough to try this, here are someways to get a kick our of tormementing the poor people. But then, watch who you torment, they could come back to haunt you.
A/N: All Conversations in this story are based on true life experiments. Yes, I actually do this to the poor people.
Chapter One: 'Brain For Dinner'
I sat on my bed, a pen firmly gripped in my hand as I tried desperatly to think of ANYTHING. And yet, nothing was comeing. Nothing ever came to me anymore. I was losing my touch. It was all over, my dreams, my world, my life! I glared at the paper, how hard was it to come up with a comedy sketch? All I had to do was right. Stupid paper, it ws all it's fault.
Throwing the notebook and pen to the floor, I flopped back into my overdoseage of pillows and let out an overly dramatic sigh. Such was my life: Over. And boring. Can't forget about boring. My eyes were just beginning to droop a little as my mind began to drift off into something akin to a light slumber when suddenly...
'I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE! YOU OTHER BROTHER'S CAN'T DENY! WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH A ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE YOU GET-'
I flipped open my cellphone before the song could continue any further along. It seemed like I should be embarrassed that I had that song as my Ringtone, but in all reality, I thought it was hiliarious. And it was really funny to watch peoples faces as I pulled it out, shaking my butt just a tad and a bit. Priceless. There are somethings money can't buy, but for everything else, there's mastercard...or any other credit card that you wanna use.
"Lello with a capital R." The word slipped out of my mouth without much thought. I didn't care who was calling me, that was my greeting. Some people said 'hello', some people said 'Talk to me'. But for me it was well...what I just said.
"Hello, my name is Ryan and I'm calling from Sprint Services. You have been selected to win a free Ipod Nano. All you have to do is complete this quick and easy survey."
I ground my teeth together angrily. Telemarketers...sorta. They shouldn't have my cell number. My parents should have to deal with them, not me! This was unfair, uncalled for, un...
And suddenly I had an idea.
A whicked little laugh came over me, rolling out past my lips. "I'm so happy you called me Ryan." I purred. "I guess you could say I'm tickled pink." My breath came out quicker now, and it had nothing to do with the act. It was a sudden rush, and ultra super high charge that took hold of me. Funny, I was only talking on the phone.
"Ma'am? Are you okay?" The man asked from the other end of the phone.
"Oh! Why wouldn't I be?" I giggled, almost insanly. I paused, allowing him to talke up the talking once again.
"So, if you could just answer my questions we can-"
"OH! The only question needing to be answered is if you're coming over for dinner tonight!" I interupted excitedly. "We're having head...and you're gonna be my special guest. Paul should be so happy! We haven't had good brain in a while."
"Excuse me?"
"Brain Darling, brain! So, be here around Six. That should give me enough time to prepare dinner before Paul gets home. OH! And bring Lenetta too. She's such a lovely girl."
'Click'
Silence fallowed my words and I couldn't help but giggle. He'd hung up before me! A Telemarketer hung up before I did! And I didn't buy anything! My giggling soon turned into something more...evil. It was my master plan, because suddenly I didn't want to just stop with that one Telemarketer. They were going to know not to mess with me, Nykole White.
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