Nine

The sun heralds the coming of gentle dawn.

6:03 a.m.

As I rest my elbow against the windowsill, I stare out lazily and think of the many times I have imagined.

Imagined how it would feel like just to jump out the window and fly.

So many places, with all the time in the world.

But of course, humans couldn't fly unequipped. Humans flew indirectly by aeroplanes, but there was a world of difference.

A world of difference. A different world, belted too tight into the generic seats.

Tightly bound, we are safe.

Safe against the perils of independence.

Safe against the perils of limits.

No hindrances. Freedom. Freedom from pain and suffering.

Freedom from love and friendship.

I think of attempting it.

But... I know I'll end up on the ground, far down.

I let out a sigh and go back to bed.

-----

Another morning.

The sounds of the piano drift dreamily out of the speakers of my CD player.

6:30 a.m.

Walking slowly to the window, I look out again as I did yesterday.

The train goes by, routinely.

The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in

Again my thoughts drift toward a familiar topic.

If I had a choice, would I leave all behind for freedom?

No more schedule.

Freedom was a one-way road.

It's when... there's nothing to hold you back.

Nothing to keep you; something like love.

Love was a dangerous thing; it could strike an emotional blow far more lethal than any physical wound.

...so many words we can say

...to kill.

Love was-

I pull down my blinds, rejecting the sunlight like I have my ambitions.

Waiting for the next day.

-----

Greeted by the sounds of the same song I had set on repeat for the past three days, I feel around for my clock.

6.12 a.m.

An identically beautiful morning from the safety of my fortress.

My walls kept the real world out.

And they kept me in.

There's really no way to reach me

There isn't.

Watching the beauty beyond.

Still safe.

Still blind.

Will I ever leave?

Can I ever leave?

Am I already gone?

-----

The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in

My first morning.

We smile for the casual closure capturing

6.21 a.m.

Sitting on the windowsill, I lean over and take it all in.

There goes the downpour

I jump.

Here goes my fare thee well

My demise?

No.

Now I know.

This is flying.

This is my goodbye.

This is my hello.

This is my path.

Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again

I fall.

There's really no way to reach me

I fly.

There's really no way to reach me

I am free.

There's really no way to reach me

...'Cause I'm already gone.