Is it easier to forgive someone when there's a lull in the hatred? When the echos of the yelling have crawled back into hiding, it's not so hard to hear the whispered, “I love you”s. As a human, you'll let go of the bad, sad, or biting memories while your heart wraps around the warmer ones. A year ago, my personal mantra was, “I have to love him, but I don't have to like him,” and it pounded through my days, justifying the Bird given from behind closed doors.

Then what of now? A laugh, a smile, a shared happiness. My brain has blocked out why exactly i despised him so. I remember factually only: they fought on Christmas Eve and I buried my face in my pillow to block out their screaming and muffle my own.

A screech of tires as he ran somewhere to escape, radio blasting NPR like it could save his soul. His complaints, illogical and illbrained, overwhelming any other voice in the room completely, even if his only other vocal competitor was the TV.

But those memories are emotionless. Vivid emotion only accompanies happier moments. The laughing debate over if we should wait the extra time for the very last seats in the rollercoaster train, or if we should expedite the fun and grudgingly accept a different car.

The light mocking when I got my fishing line caught in ANOTHER set of water weeds. Then the returned mockery when I skillfully navigated the rapids in a kayak whereas he capsized, taking the two other canoe passengers with him. He cracked the bottom of his canoe that day – another reason to tease him.

A logic question, so it seemed, “How many apples does it take to make a pie?” As I pondered, he raised his hands, somehow grasping four apples in each hand. He, I, and the others watching, spent a long time clutching our stomachs in laughter.

With memories like this as the strong pictures in my mind, is it still so strange that I now love a man I used to wish I'd never have to see again? It must be proof, then, of two points. That I am a peacemaker and eternal optimist at heart, and that it truly is easier to forgive someone when there's a lull in the hatred.