just something i had to write.

not beta'd.

sunday, 24 june, 2007. 9:51 pm

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:start tape:

There is a fair amount of white noise, and then there are some muffled sounds of some sort of activity and vague background commotion, before a male voice speaks clearly from the recorder.

“The date is the fifteenth of April, at…two-seventeen in the afternoon here at the diner on the corner of Alwent and May. With me today are Maxwell Price, the third, and Benjamin Tewilliger. Thank you, guys, for talking with me.”

“Sure.”

“Our pleasure.”

“Now guys, do you have any questions before we get started?”

“Naw…I think we’re good. Max?”

“I’m fine.”

“Very well then. First off: how long have you been a couple?”

Low chuckling is heard, belonging to the voice identified as Benjamin, and his is the voice which first answers.

“Five years, give or take. Ain’t that right, Max? It’s been five years?”

“…Oh, no, it’s almost six. Or don’t you count the six months we didn’t see each other?”

“Ah, I forgot that. In that case, you’re right.”

“But of course.”

“Ass.”

More laughter, warm and easy in the way of most couples well-adjusted to each other’s ways.

“Wow, six years! That’s quite impressive.”

“Oh, yes. Especially with the way Benji tends to hog the bed most nights.”

“Fuck off, Max, you’re just jealous.”

Stronger laughter than before, and a slight pause in conversation as a woman’s voice comes in the background, bringing refills on coffee before departing once more.

“I have to ask--and I hope you don’t take offense, but just why are you two in a relationship? I mean, you two are strikingly different in appearance and apparent lifestyle.”

“Ah, yeah, we get that one a lot, don’t worry about it. It’s just that…we don’t look alike at all, but we’re together because we’re so similar. It’s almost scary how much we have in common, really.”

“Really?”

Again, there is some laughter.

“Yeah! Both of us smoke the same brand of cigarettes, and we read the same authors and types of books. And from the start, we’ve always been into the same movies.”

“We’re also vegetarians, which is almost necessary if one of us is; my parents tried to balance their differences in diet, but ended up divorcing when I was barely seven. Big fiasco. And the one man I ever dated who wasn’t a vegetarian was vegan, but we were too dissimilar to have much of a relationship.”

“Yeah, and it really sucks to date a guy who’ll eat a beef taco and then expect to shove his tongue down my throat, ya know? It’s like…what’s the point of me not eating meat if you’re going to second-hand feed it to me? And dating non-smokers bites ass, because they’re bothered if you smoke near them, or they don’t understand why you do smoke and why you don’t quit. Just not worth it, really.”

“But to base a relationship on such things…it works, does it?”

“Oh, those aren’t the only similarities.”

“Right. Max and I have the same views on most things, even though he’s a declared Republican to my Liberal. And he might be Baptist while I’m Protestant, but our beliefs are strong and we both highly respect that in other people.”

“We’re active members of PETA, and Benji even works for a non-profit animal shelter. In fact, we met at a protest of animal testing. Right, Benji?”

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Well, actually…it might have been a protest of the death penalty, love.”

“No, that was only four years ago, if you’re talking about Yeager Stanson.”

“Oh, right. I do remember that. Never mind, then. We met at a protest of animal testing.”

A low rise in background noise, halting conversation before it eventually died back down a few moments later, and the conversation continued.

“So you’re saying that your differing appearances has no effect upon your relationship?”

“No, not really. So I wear a lot of black and ripped jeans and Max wears those sweaters and polo shirts. And besides, he likes my tattoos... You think I’m the only one with piercings? Mine are just the ones you can see right now!”

Merry laughter is heard, nearly drowning out the sound of a clearing throat and sequential amused chuckle.

“You don’t say.”

“Oh, yes. I have both nipples pierced, as well as three penal piercings. I may appear vanilla, Mister Sanford, but trust me when I say that once you remove the masks of our clothing, me and Benji are much the same.”

“Except for the whole penis thing; mine is lots bigger.”

The laughter is loud during the comfortable bantering that ensues from that comment, until the two men settle back down, their tone still lilting with amusement.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s such a liar. …And a braggart.”

“I won’t grace that one, guys.”

“Ah, perhaps that’s best.”

More general laughter.

“So, other than your similar beliefs and such, what else keeps you two together? What about your friends and family, how have they reacted?”

“That’s a good question.”

“Yeah. ‘Cause at first, a lot of our friends were like you are now, all over how different we seem to be. I even had a friend try to break us apart, telling me vicious lies about how Max was fucking about fifty million other guys when I was out of town for the band I was in at the time. Jay even managed to get me to believe it, too, but I was miserable without Max by then. That’s the six months Max brought up, earlier.”

“Really?”

“Yes, we had some very nasty rows right around that time. It was what ultimately separated us for half a year, that and pressure from my family to drop a relationship which they felt was far beneath someone of my station. My parents are acutely aware of their individual standings within their communities, and had been deathly afraid of someone both felt was sure to be a devil-worshiping delinquent, given to petty crime and heavy drug usage. It was years before either even acknowledged Benji by name.”

“Yeah, his parents were pretty afraid of me. I think it’s the hair and lip rings. That, and I used to wear more spikes and chains when I was in the band, as well as riding a Harley.”

“But they’re not afraid of you now?”

Both men chuckled.

“No. My parents adore him more than they do me, these days. Mother will call the house and ask to speak to him specifically. It was the summer two years ago that won them over; Benji donated his bone marrow to my younger brother, who was suffering from Leukemia. I couldn’t donate because our blood types didn’t match, and my father was of too poor health for him to donate. Anderson needed the operation as soon as possible, and Benji stepped up. Ever since then, my family can’t get enough of him.”

“Bah, how could I not have tried to save the kid? Anyone woulda done the same, if they could.”

“…I love you, Benji.”

“Yeah, I know.”

A slight pause is followed by a low hum of warm pleasure, and someone coughs with belated awkwardness.

“Wow, that was pretty amazing, donating and all.”

“Whatever, man, it really wasn’t anything special. ‘Sides, only after knowing me two weeks, Max put up the thousand dollar bond money for my brother, when the woman he thought was twenty turned out to be seventeen. Poor David, he always was bad at things like that.”

One-sided snickering is heard before a low murmuring is given on Max’s part, cutting short the snickering, only to be replaced by some half-hearted grumbles from Benji before he spoke up.

“Anyways…we both smoke, we love to go clubbing every so often, we believe in God, a woman’s right to choose, gay marriage, freedom of speech and expression, the abolishment of the death penalty, that eating meat is wrong, and we’re against racism. Did I leave anything out, Max?”

“Sex, babe.”

“Oh, yeah. Neither of us believes in one person always pitching or receiving. And we’re into light bondage and humiliation, just without all the leather gear and shit, because that stuff‘s awkward to get into when you’re gettin’ down and dirty in some restaurant bathroom, ya know?”

“Wow, bondage and humiliation?”

Again, both men laugh, obviously pleased by the reaction.

“Sure. Benji loves to be tied down or bent over the desk or sofa, and I’m rather into being blindfolded and forced into submission. I guess you could call us kinky. We’re quite insatiable, at any rate. Haven’t you ever been forced to perform oral sex on a partner? Fingers in your hair, pulling harder or softer, ordering without words just how fast or slow, how much of your mouth you use. I love it when Benji comes against my face, when he pulls on my hair while I’m still blindfolded and kneeling between his knees.”

“Heh, I think we’re embarrassing the man, Max.”

More laughter from both men, and another awkward clearing of a throat.

“…So, you two mean to say that you’re actually much the same, despite how odd you may appear?”

“Yeah, man, that’s what we’ve been saying.”

“Yes.”

Some laughter on the part of the interviewer.

“All right then. Is there anything more you guys would like to say?”

“Um…I don’t think so. You, Max?”

“I think we’ve covered it well enough.”

Some shuffling of papers and the muffled sound of the recorder being moved around.

“All right then! Thank you so much, guys, for putting up with me for…forty-nine minutes of your time.”

“Oh, it was our pleasure, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, it was fun, even. You ever need to talk to us again, you just let us know.”

“That I’ll do. Thanks again, and you two have a good day.”

More noise is heard, and the two voices fade away until only the shuffling of papers and the scratching of a pencil can be distinguished from the background.

“Well, The time is now…three-twenty-four, and that concludes the interview with one Maxwell Price, the third, and one Benjamin Tewilliger. Perhaps their testimony will be helpful again in the future. …If not entertaining.”

Low and musing mutters about ‘light bondage and humiliation’ is heard before white noise again falls into place.

:end tape:

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A/N: it was a compulsion, this piece here. (laughs)