“…Unfortunately fate hasn’t been so nice for the superstar sensation Jasmine, who passed away this afternoon after swallowing a lethal dose of sleeping pills. It’s not certain if the ingestion was accidental; although some have commented that her lifestyle has become overwhelming. A memorial service is being held at Central Park for tomorrow afternoon…”

Bryanne set the empty bottle of vodka next to her on the floor before clicking off the TV. Silence. Her apartment was finally filled with silence. Her telephones weren’t ringing anymore and people were no longer knocking on her door. She was alone. It feels too good to be true, she thought, leaning against her couch and closing her eyes. She just wasn’t ready to talk about Jasmine’s death. She was still in shock herself, and the announcement hasn’t been able to sink in because she’s been too busy to relax. She had to promote her new album, premiere her new single, and dodge the paparazzi. After hearing about her best friend’s death via radio, she didn’t let herself break down into tears. She sort of saw it coming.

She reached for the bottle and brought it to her lips before remembering that she had swallowed the last bit of liquor. Her eyes opened and she examined the empty contents as if liquid would magically appear inside. It had seemed like she had just opened it, and now she was finished. It had been the last container remaining in her refrigerator and it was too late for her to feel safe enough to go outside alone. She never really was alone throughout her life. There was always someone to be around; someone who wanted to be around her. Even after she was seventeen and formed a group with her friends Leela, Jenna, and of course Jasmine, they had lived together until their band broke up only five years later. Leela and Jenna left the apartment, and later Jasmine did after she started dating Cash. She never moved back, even after she caught Cash in bed with a model during their engagement. Bryanne managed to find ways to avoid being alone by staying out partying, inviting her club mates back to her house for a sleepover or crashing at someone else’s place. Now she came to the conclusion that being alone was overrated.

As she stood up she stumbled, and stubbed her baby toe on the couch. “Shit!” she cried, lifting her foot to shake off the pain. The throbbing faded. She grabbed the bottle and made her way into the kitchen where she set it on the table with her other collection of empty cans and bottles. Although she was famous and had money, she lived for returning the bottles for their deposits. The action reminded her of her childhood, and going to the grocery stores with her parents who struggled to provide her with everything her heart desired. Once her father walked out on his wife when Bryanne was eight, family grocery trips ceased. Bryanne spent a lot of time with her neighbors while Ms. Walker spent time making money, and unintentionally neglecting her child.

It seemed like the only thing Bryanne had done that made her father proud was when she danced. It had been his suggestion to get Bryanne into dance classes, his favorite style being ballet. Even after he left and remarried he had never missed one of her recitals. It was the only thing that made him happy. He missed her graduations, but he watched her perform. He swore that he was her biggest fan, and when she got famous he would be in the front row of all of her shows. It had been an exaggeration because he didn’t really believe that she would hit stardom, but her ballet slippers tattoo symbolized whom she loved almost more than anyone else. Dancing was the only thing she really did for him.

Bryanne didn’t consider her drinking a problem. She had watched her mother down a six-pack in less than an hour. Whenever the two did spend time together, most of the time Ms. Walker was drinking. She was never drunk. She promised Bryanne that she would never get drunk in front of her. Drinking in front of her daughter was okay, but being intoxicated was the greatest sin of all. She was passed out on the couch when Bryanne first experimented with alcohol at the age of nine. Personally, she didn’t like beer.

She had met Jasmine in the third grade after Jasmine left private school, and the two had instantly clicked. They both loved performing, never got the chicken pox, and always knew that boys never had cooties. People were drawn to Jasmine’s charming personality, and because Bryanne hung out with her people assumed that she was cool. Jenna and Leela joined their group in junior high school, and by the time they reached the ninth grade they had formed the group Fusion. Once they were seventeen their dreams came true: they signed a record deal. Instantly people loved them, and the rest was history.

They didn’t break up because they wanted to pursue different things. Fusion ended because the girls despised each other. Secretly Jasmine had been pursuing a solo career, going at it in a sleezy way. Leela felt like their image was changing too fast, and she still wanted to maintain the virgin-until-married look. Jenna was jealous because she was the least popular of the group, and was tired of feeling like an entourage. Then there was Bryanne, who was too busy indulging in drugs and alcohol to really stop and see what was going on. Before she knew it their contract was over, and her friends split up.

Now she was really alone.

She hadn’t seen her father since she dropped ballet at fourteen years old. She was surprised that she had stuck with it for that long. Her mother seemed to disappear once Fusion left their tiny city in Michigan, and the only way Bryanne knew she was alive was because her accountant was sending her checks every six months. She paid her momma’s bills and her momma used her own money for beer. She never talked to Jenna and had nothing in common with Leela.

Plus, Jasmine was dead. Her one and only, true best friend, was gone.

It was after midnight, but she was feeling antsy. She didn’t feel like going to sleep, but she really wanted to relax. I close my eyes/Forget your lies/You promised me/We were supposed to be/Together/Forever/No matter what/We’d be together forever. She couldn’t close her eyes without thinking of Jasmine. She couldn’t sleep without thinking about Jasmine. She wanted to forget about Jasmine and everything they had gone through. Their friendship had come and gone, like everyone else in Bryanne’s life. The sad thing was that it was all her fault.

The lighting was unusually dim, and it matched the expression on Jasmine’s face. It was unreadable. At three o’clock in the afternoon, the atmosphere made it feel like darkness covered the world. The curtains blocked any ray of sunlight. Jasmine and her apartment looked so discombobulated, and Bryanne contemplated the last time she had been there. Suddenly she felt like she had failed as a friend. No matter how much trouble Jasmine had caused, everything fell back into Bryanne’s lap. “Bryanne, I’m in trouble deep.”

Bryanne grabbed her cell phone, which was conveniently on her kitchen counter before pressing five on her speed dial to call her ex-boyfriend Justin. She wondered what he was thinking about Jasmine. Did he know? Did he know the details? Did he have anything to help Bryanne forget about it? His answer tone, this heavy rap song, filled Bryanne’s ears and she smiled. He had always been there for her.

“Hey Anne,” Justin answered. Loud music in the background made it difficult for her to understand him. He probably didn’t know about Jasmine. “What’s up? Where you at?”

“Home,” Bryanne said loudly, her voice sounding out of place in her quiet apartment. She couldn’t help it. She felt like she was at a club. “Are you busy?”

“Not really. Why? You ran out of weed?”

Bryanne rolled her eyes. Justin really did know her too well, but saying yes made her feel guilty. “I wanna see you. I need to talk to you. Did you hear about Jazzy?” If she invited him over, he would probably bring some stuff with him. That way she could get stoned and tell him whatever without showing off any emotions. She wouldn’t cry for Jasmine, she wouldn’t scream, and she wouldn’t feel guilty.

“No. What happened?”

“We’ll talk about it later. Just come…please.”

She knew that she needed to be asleep, but she was wide awake drinking an energy drink when Justin softly knocked on her door two hours later. She really hated being alone. She had to fight her urge to click on the TV, but it was rightly predicted that Jasmine’s death would be broadcasted on every channel. “…It’s not certain if the ingestion was accidental; although some have commented that her lifestyle has become overwhelming.”

No one knew more then Bryanne. That afternoon at Jasmine’s place, just hours before her death, really let her know the inside scoop of her best friend’s life. She just didn’t think that Jasmine had the guts to do it. Jasmine’s life had always appeared meaningful, way happier then Bryanne’s, but when things toughened just a little bit Jasmine had given up. She wasn’t used to handling stress. With everything usually handed to her, she never had to break a sweat about doing something she didn’t want to. Jasmine basically grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth, and if Bryanne hadn’t loved her so much she would’ve resented everything her best friend had. Both her parents lived in the same house, very much in love. Anything she wanted she got. Her family adored being around her and they always proclaimed their love for each other. Bryanne’s mom couldn’t even slur Bryanne’s name when she was drinking.

Bryanne didn’t realize her door wasn’t locked until Justin walked inside smelling like a mixture of cologne, alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana. He was wearing a light jacket with a Detroit hat on his head and he carried a plastic bag filled with brown contents. Justin had a fade, mocha skin, and the best body Bryanne had ever seen in person. They had broken up because their similar lifestyles didn’t mesh, but that didn’t stop them from doing what lovers did.

Bryanne was lounged out on the couch. She lifted her head and brought her feet closer to her body as Justin sat on the couch next to her. “Hey Babe,” she murmured. Her voice was raspier then she wanted it to be and her throat was really dry. Her pulse was racing, her head was throbbing, and she felt like kicking off her shoes and dancing on a table with a short dress on. The nape of her neck felt damp with sweat. It was suddenly really, really hot.

“Get up,” Justin told her gently, pushing her a little with his muscular arm. His deep voice compared to a lullaby and sweetened everything he said to her.

“I am up,” Bryanne replied. “I’m thirsty as hell. These energy drinks don’t really do shit.”

Justin let the bag of hash fall to the floor as he pulled Bryanne closer to his end of the couch. The two cuddled with his arm wrapped around her and she laid her head onto his shoulder. “You can’t survive without me. You look a mess.”

“Fuck you,” Bryanne said. She pressed her head against his chest. “It took you a long time to get over here.”

“I figured it wasn’t an emergency.”

Slowly Bryanne’s eyes closed. With her protector being there she could easily drift off into dreamland. She almost forgot about Jasmine, but the little bit of her that lingered in Bryanne’s mind made her feel uneasy. Bryanne stiffened and then pulled away from Justin. The darkness of Jasmine’s apartment…the way she made Bryanne feel needed and then betrayed…”I’m pregnant Bryanne, and I’m so sorry…” The apologies couldn’t stop and Bryanne burst into tears for the first time in years. Jasmine’s pregnancy had stunned Bryanne into speechlessness as she continued to explain her situation. Then she died.

“Jasmine’s dead, Justin.”

Bryanne refused to look into his bloodshot eyes that were normally brown. Within seconds Justin sobered up. “What?” he asked.

“Jasmine’s dead. She died today—”

“You’re not funny Anne,” Justin told her warningly. His voice began to rise. “This isn’t cool. You’re a real bitch if you’re playing—”

“I wouldn’t play about this!” Bryanne snapped. “We can fucking turn on the TV. It’s two in the damn morning and it’s still on every channel. Jazzy died today and if you don’t believe me you can turn it to E! She died, and I saw her today and when I left she overdosed off pills. She’s dead.”

Justin was silent. The way he stopped moving was alarming, and finally he just stood up and left the room. Bryanne didn’t follow him, but when she heard the refrigerator open she knew he was looking for a drink. Justin went through the doorway, passed the couch, and walk towards the front door. “I need to go home,” he muttered.

“No,” Bryanne said defiantly, standing up and running to block the door. “You can’t leave me like this. That’s what I did with Jasmine and now—”

“You’ll be okay,” Justin said, casually shoving her away from the door. Bryanne hit the wall enough for it to make a sound and alarm her, but it didn’t hurt. Nevertheless she felt her throat tighten.

“Fine Justin!” she screamed when he opened the door. “Leave me like you always do, you bastard! This time you have no one to run to. No one!” Bryanne slid down to the floor and brought her face to her knees. She knew that she was alone long before she called Justin over. Her protector came to her whenever she called, but he was never there for her. Justin never truly loved her. Bryanne just realized that.

The door slowly closed, but Justin didn’t leave. Awkwardly he stood against the door and looked down at Bryanne. She was truly miserable. Her golden brown hair lost the glimmer that it had when he had first met her. During those first days he never could keep his mind off of her. What happened? She was the same Bryanne who didn’t give a damn about what others thought of her. They could still do everything together, and she was fun to be around. There was just something…probably because he knew so much about her. He had Bryanne, and he could have her any time he wanted.

“Justin, why did you go to her?” Bryanne slowly lifted her head, her voice to her dismay sounding vulnerable. “Why couldn’t you come to me? Why did you stop loving me?”

Justin shrugged. He didn’t know which way to answer. He didn’t know what to answer. “Jazzy…she was just there. She was in a lot of pain, I was high…and somehow we felt good together.”

Bryanne sighed. “My best friend and you…she told me she was pregnant and that she didn’t know who the father was. Then she said it could’ve been you…I felt like I was punched in the stomach. She didn’t want the baby, she didn’t want to disappoint anybody, and she didn’t want to live.”

“Things had been going so good for so long that I just sort of slipped up,” Jasmine quickly said to Bryanne while her best friend was still listening. She knew that once everything clicked in her visitor’s mind, Bryanne would go ballistic. “I thought I could get away with anything because I’d been getting away with it for so long. Now I’m sure I’m pregnant…but you can’t tell Justin yet.”

“Why would I tell him?”

Jasmine shrugged. “He told me that you tell him everything.”

“And he can’t know you’re pregnant?”

She shook her head, and that was when Bryanne knew. It left her speechless; her expression changed so much so quickly that Jasmine realized she knew. Jasmine wasn’t so sure whether to duck, run, or call for security…so she didn’t do anything. “I don’t want the baby. I don’t know what I’m gonna do…but I don’t want it.”

“Some best friend,” Bryanne murmured. She took a deep breath, but it wasn’t good enough to satisfy her lungs because of the humid apartment. “I don’t know what to say to you right now. I want to call you a bitch, but even that won’t feel good enough. I don’t want to hit you, because that can go away. This…this feeling I’m feeling right now…it will never go away no matter what decision you choose to make.”

Jasmine sighed and looked down, not caring to fight the tears from falling from her eyes. “It might not even be Justin’s.”

“It could be his. It could be his…and you know how I feel about him. That’s why you don’t want me to tell him, because he’ll know that it might be his and you won’t have time to explain yourself.”

“I wanted to use a condom, but you know how Justin is.”

“Fuck you Jasmine. Fuck you, Justin, and your fucking unborn baby.”

Bryanne turned towards the door and began to walk away.

“You can’t leave me Bryanne!” Jasmine exclaimed as Bryanne reached for the knob. “You can’t leave me like this. I’m on the verge of killing myself! I’m fighting myself from doing it.”

Bryanne, the one she claimed was her best friend, had closed the door in response. After a vow never to turn their backs on one another Bryanne had broken it and Jasmine died.

“Anne…” Justin moved toward her, but Bryanne made her way out of his reach.

“I don’t even know why I called you over here,” Bryanne snapped. “I can’t stand you either. I don’t know whose fault is it that she’s dead, but she shouldn’t have been pregnant with you as a possible baby daddy. Both of you just…really screwed me over.”

“But Anne…that could’ve been my baby. I could’ve been a daddy.”

“She didn’t want it, and she stopped herself from having it. You wouldn’t have been nothing.”

“It might have been mine.”

“And then what?” Bryanne wanted to scream, but it came out in almost a whisper. Her throat tightened and her eyes stung to keep tears from falling. “And then what? You would’ve gotten custody? You and Jasmine would’ve got married? You would’ve sacrificed your own selfishness and changed your lifestyle to take care of that child? You can’t be a good daddy selling dope and getting high all the time Justin! You gotta be there for that baby all the time. We both know you can’t stop caring about yourself enough to care for somebody else either, especially now.”

Bryanne’s words stung, but Justin slowly nodded. He was just so stunned; he didn’t know what to do. Two people had died for no reason just a few hours ago…a superstar and her child. Jasmine’s future held so much promise despite the new bump in the road, and she hadn’t given herself enough time to check out all of her options. She could’ve afforded the baby. The publicity would’ve been enormous, which meant that releasing a single right away would’ve been a good decision. Killing herself didn’t seem like something Jasmine would do, but it was obvious that after feeling abandoned Jasmine felt like it would be the easiest thing to do.

“How can two people that I love do something like this to me? You told me you loved me…Jasmine swore that she did too, but then you both just stabbed me in the back so viciously it hurt. I’m not trying to make this about me because after all, Jasmine’s dead now, but I never got the chance to sort it all out.”

“What are they doing about it? Do they have any idea about what happened, or that she was pregnant?”

Bryanne shrugged. “You best believe it’ll come out…I’m just thankful I wasn’t the last person to see her before she died because I do not want to get tied in some washed out murder case or anything. They’re gonna find out she was pregnant, that you could be her baby daddy, that we had just gotten into an argument…She’s having a memorial service at Central Park tomorrow.”

“You going?”

“I don’t know if I want to, but I guess I better. Leela and Jenna are definitely going because they’re like that…so I might as well too.”

“If you want, I can take you.”

Bryanne shook her head. “I’d rather go by myself. I guess I’d better get used to being alone.”