When Love Is Blind

I hate the way he makes me feel, so powerless and dependent.

The intensity of his eyes is too much to bear; all of his pain radiates out of them and I

absorb it like a dehydrated sponge so many times I become thirsty without it.

He only intends to be seen as simple; he puts up a cold, distant front. But it can’t fool

me. I know how much more complex he is.

I think--I know everything about him, from his deepest darkest secrets to his hopes

and dreams.

I can almost always predict his words and actions, yet

He doesn't know me at all.

He doesn't know how much I truly care, how much I want to help.

I watch as he destroys himself and when I can no longer endure it I leave.

But I always come back.

It's as if I can’t exist without him, as night cannot exist without day.

But he needs me.

I hate how blind he is to this power he holds on me. Sometimes I wish he were dead. I

want so badly to take his life myself, but if he were to die, I would have nothing.

I would die too.

He is the most vital organ in my body; he is my heart.

These mixed feelings must be what love is--a sweet, candy-coated curse.

Love, and heartbreak, all in one.

For every day that we're together, he never spares me a glance. He supplies me with

words that strengthen the fraying bond when its about to break--Stay with me. I need

you. Dont leave--because he fears losing this power. He believes his empty words sate

me.

As I cannot survive without him, he can't exist without power.

His love belongs only to power. There is none left for anything else. I know

everything about him.

I love you.

The words fell from his lips like a dying blossom.

I tried to ignore it, but he kept saying it.

It was like a beautiful poison.

If I believed him, I knew my heart would wither.

His eyes are so empty when he says it. I can no longer see the pain.

For the first time, I feared him.

I could no longer predetermine his actions.

The unpredictability scared me.

And then I felt guilty. As he leeched existence through power, I leeched it through his

anguish. Did I really ever stay around for the sake of him? No...

I don’t love him. I love his pain.

What I always wanted to save him from, I caused.

He's loved me the whole time.

My spirit deteriorated and my heart genuinely withered right then. Everything had

been an illusion. A backwards world spawned of my own dreams that I could see

reflecting in his eyes.

He wasn't the one who needed me.

I needed him.

With that divine epiphany, I said confidently what should have been said long ago:

I love you.