Chapter Three (In Which Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince is Not Seen Very Often, but Celebrities are Abundant)

The real hero's journey begins!

"Well, this sucks," Semira grumbled.

"Do I have to help?" Macaroni whined.

"Yes!" Sofa Muffin shouted in her redneck accent, waving her hands wildly through the air.

"Oh, shut up, redneck!" Amba' laughed, throwing a tomato at Sofa Muffin's head.

"Ow!" She screamed, running away blindly (the tomato had hit her in the eye).

Sofa Muffin really wasn’t a redneck -- Amba' liked too tease Sofa Muffin. Like Semira, Macaroni, and Sofa Muffin liked too tease Amba' about her dainty feet.

"Where would the Gangsta' Police take Peter?" Semira said

"Let's Google it!” Macaroni shouted because Sofa Muffin was wiping tomato out of her eye and Amba' was laughing.

Macaroni logged on to the computer quickly, which was in a dumpster nearby. And it actually worked. Surprisingly.

He then went to Google and looked up Gangsta' Police -- he got 23,000 finds.

The most promising find said that Gangsta' Police usually hid in the mountains where they rain a Gangsta' Boot Camp for their captives.

"They rain a boot camp? What?!" Semira exclaimed.

"Apparently so," Amba' agreed.

"Oh wait, no, never mind. I thought that was a warning about bad spelling, but it was just one about grammar." Macaroni laughed.

"Let's try the next source. This doesn't look reliable" stated Sofa Muffin

"I think it looks very reliable!" Amba' said happily.

It basically gave the same information as the other one but, with better spelling. The website also talked about...

The Crown Princess of Calculoso!

"Who's that?!" Semira said pointedly.

"Um..." Macaroni answered.

Sofa Muffin stared blankly at the screen. So did Amba'.

It turned out that the Princess of Calculoso was looking for a man. She wanted someone who wore green shoes, pretended to be gangsta' and had brown hair. She needed someone to help rule the Kingdom as Math King.

"Har har har!" Laughed Sofa Muffin fakely, nudging Macaroni in the ribs.

"OW!" He screamed, as an audible crack came from his side.

"Sorry, Math King," Sofa Muffin giggled childishly.

The group had to stop their mission and take Macaroni to the hospital. It turned out nothing was really wrong. Macaroni just had a twig in his pocket and it had snapped when Semira elbowed him. Macaroni was just a wimp.

"I didn't elbow him!" Semira screamed. "It was SOFA MUFFINNNNNN!"

"Jeez," Amba' said.

"Does it really matter?" Sofa Muffin said in her ever-so-smart way.

"Yes," Macaroni mumbled angrily.

"I think not," Sofa Muffin huffed.

"You are not ever-so-smart, Muffin," Amba' laughed.

"Yeah," Semira agreed.

"I get all A's. I'm not stupid," Sofa Muffin said, extremely hurt.

"Who said you were stupid? No one said stupid!" Semira countered.

"Amba' said I was not ever-so-smart!" stated Sofa Muffin

"But did she say 'stupid'?" Semira asked, smirking.

"Well, no, but --" Sofa stuttered, before being cut off by Semira.

"I didn't think so! I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it, Sofa Muffin."

"What ever, can we just go find Peter before he is turned gangsta’ so I can reply to this aid?" Macaroni yelled.

"What are you talking about, Macaroni? You make no sense!!" Amba' cried out, slightly in pain because of the misspelled words in Macaroni's vocabulary.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe I've been possessed!"

"Yeah, yeah, what ever, you loons. Let's go find Peter" Sofa Muffin said in her ever-so-sensible way.

At this comment the group started heading home to get the supplies for their trip to the mountains to rescue Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince.

"WHERE'S MY HAIR GEL?!" Semira screamed from the bathroom.

"That was hair gel? I thought it was body lotion," Amba' said sheepishly.

"I thought it was a smoothie," Macaroni admitted.

"He gave me some of his smoothie," Sofa Muffin blushed.

"You are all sick. Just sick," Semira growled.

So before they could leave on their mission they had to go to Sal's Hair Gel Emporium and buy hair gel. Then they finally starting there trek to the mountains. Sofa Muffin had Mapquest-ed where they were going before they had left.

"Hey, you guys, we're going the wrong way!" Sofa cried out, holding up the map.

"That's upside down, doofus."

"Oh."

But, besides from that incident everything went smoothly.

"It's getting dark, maybe we should stop," Semira said

"NOOOOO! Charge!” Amba' yelled, charging through the forest in the wrong direction. (She was loopy from sleepiness.) After Macaroni and Sofa Muffin had chased her down and tied her too a tree they set up camp.

"Where's Semira?" Macaroni said, looking around.

"Uh-oh," Amba' whispered, not seeing Semira anywhere.

It turned out that Amba' had a leaf in her eye and Macaroni was just being stupid.

"I'm right here you loons," shouted Semira.

"DASH IT ALL!" Screamed a familiar voice from deep in the woods. But not too deep, seeing as how the group could still hear it.

"Peter? PETER?!" Sofa Muffin shouted into the darkness.

"WHA'?" Peter's voice drifted back.

They would have found him, if he hadn't been scared off by Semira's singing.

"Hoooooow to saaaaaavvvve a liiiiiiife!" She shrieked as she danced around the campfire.

"Shut up," screamed Sofa Muffin as Amba' whisterpooped Semira, and Macaroni clamped a hand on Semira's mouth. Semira kept singing, ignoring the others’ complaints

"Wheeere did Ieeeeeeeeee goooo wrong, I loooost a friend," Semira howled.

When Semira was finally silenced no one could find Peter, though Sofa Muffin swore she heard a scream when Semira was singing the 3rd verse on the 5th rendition of "How to Save a Life."

"I'm not that bad," Semira grumbled.

"You are," mumbled the other three together.

"What? Don't you guys like The Fray? How about Augustana? Or Rob Thomas? Or... Paolo Nutini?!"

Sofa Muffin perked up at the mention of Paolo and began to sing. "Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right. I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling, it’s so inviting. Oh, short on money, but long on time, slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine. And I’m running late, and I don’t need an excuse, 'cause I’m wearing my brand new shoes."

"Um. Wow," Amba' snorted.

No one moved as they stared in shock at Sofa Muffin.

Simon Cowell popped up and said, "Dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. And I hate that outfit!"

Randy Jackson exclaimed, "Dawg! Yo, dawg! Wuz up? You know, that didn't really do it for me, dawg. Naw. It didn't do it for me."

And finally, Paula Abdule. "Don't listen to them! You are a beautiful person inside and I like you very much!"

Then Semira started singing.

"Aaaaaand I wouuuuld haaaave stayed up with yooooooooou all night haaad I knooooownnn how to save a liiiiiffeeeeeee! Do you like my singing?"

All of a sudden before even Randy could put in his review Tyra Banks popped up.

"It was umm, okay. But on the bright side you’re not fat! But if you were, that would be okay because fat people are people too."

Macaroon jumped with glee.

"Tyra can I have your autograph?"

"Sure thing, cutie!" She smiled and model-walked over to Macaroni.

"Hey, this isn't her show!" Simon shouted. "You're voted off! You were in the bottom three! They hated you more than SANJAYA!"

"Jeez, man. Cool down, dawg." Randy looked over at Simon.

"How was my singing?" Semira asked again. But no one was listening. Sofa burst into another verse of "New Shoes." Then Paolo Nutini showed up.

"Hey, there. Cool song!" He said.

"PAOLO NUTINI!" Sofa gushed.

Her and Semira ran over and gave him a big hug.

"I love you!" Sofa Muffin yelled, blushing like a loon. Semira was speechless with excitement.

Amba' (who was still tied to a tree) just sat there thinking "OMG I have a bunch of loons for friends.”

All of the sudden Ellen and Oprah stepped through the trees and Amba' turned into a loon too.

"Yes, well, I get that a lot," Paolo Nutini said, trying to get away.

"ELLEN! ELLEN! ELLEN!" Amba' shrieked from near the tree. "OPRAH! OPRAH! OPRAH!"

The two women screamed and started to run away, Oprah tripping in her heels, but Amba' had broken free of her bonds and was chasing them.

"Ellen you are my idol! I just love the way you make people get their boogy on!" Amba' yelled as she ran straight through a blackberry bush trying to catch up to Ellen.

Meanwhile, the American Idol judges were being completely ignored.

"Ummm… well, we, uhh... have to leave. We have to go to Idol Gives Back so umm... yeah, bye," Randy muttered as he, Paula, and Simon walked off into the forest.

No one noticed their departure.

A few minutes later:

"Hey, where'd Randy go? I wanted his autograph!" Sofa Muffin said angrily, stomping in a circle.

Sofa Muffin soon forgot about Randy though because Paolo said, "Why, Sof, you sure are the fuzziest bunny in the herd! Your eyes sparkle with health. Do you like prunes?"

Sofa looked stunned, after all no one called her Sof except for Peter and his crazy friend Ben F. (Yes, everyone did call him Ben F.)

Sofa replied with a stammered, "Err, no."

"Neither do I, how about a date?"

"Oh. My. Dear. Lord." Sofa Muffin's mouth dropped nearly to the ground.

"Don't make me whisterpoop you, Sofa," Semira threatened.

Sofa Muffin started to take deep breaths to calm herself.

"Well, sure, Paolo. But first we've got to find my good friend Peter McFlirty Shorts the Fairy Prince. Wanna come, too?"

"Oy, yeah!" Paolo said, doing a strange little dance.

"It must be a Scottish thing," Semira whispered to Amba'.

Amba', Paolo, Sofa, and Semira moved back to the middle of the clearing where they were staying. Macaroni was sitting drooling over Tyra Banks.

Tyra looked rather weirded out and finally turned around said a hurried, "Umm, bye!" and scurried away. Macaroni just stared after her.

"There goes the woman of my dreams," he whispered, wide-eyed.

"You're utterly pathetic," Semira said.

"She is utterly GORGEOUS," Macaroni said, fainting.

Sofa Muffin tipped Amba's water bottle on his head and Paolo started singing in his ear so, luckily, Macaroni was revived (though he was slightly damp and annoyed).

"Stop singing that rubbish!" Macaroni glared at Paolo.

"What rubbish? I don't see any!" Paolo started looking for garbage around the clearing.

"Let's get some Augustana or something," Macaroni suggested angrily.

"Well, Hi there," Augustana said together. They all waved.

"Why do these people keep showing up?" Amba' asked.

"Because they're all rather fetching, you dolt," Semira said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Amba' replied, drooling over the newly arrived Criss Angel.

"Oh no," Macaroni said, whisterpooping himself.

"We are never going to go find Peter now." Macaroni continued shaking his head sadly. "Oh, well! Peter will live. Hey Augustana guys! Can you play us Boston?" Macaroni yelled skipping over to the band.

"Um, we've got no piano. How about we play Hotel Roosevelt?"

"Yeeeeeeessssss." Semira drooled.

"Semira, get a hold of yourself!"

"Oh, right." She straightened up and looked normal. Or, more normal than Sofa Muffin.

And the band began to play.

Once the song started Semira threw her remaining dignity in to the bushes and tried to start a Conga line.

"Come on. Let's CONGA!" Semira yelled over Augustana.

"No offence Semira, but this isn't ‘CONGA!’ music, and you are drooling," Macaroni yelled at Semira, halting her One Women Conga Adventure. Semira wiped drool from her mouth and pulled out a candle. She lit the candle and sat on the ground holding it above her head, swaying from side to side. must be our biggest fan!" Dan said when the song was finished.

"That I am, Sir," Semira gushed.

"And she called me SIR!" The band members seemed in awe of Semira's politeness.

But Peter McFlirtyShorts was still nowhere to be found.

Sofa stepped forward and explained the situation to the band.

"Oh, well in that case we best be going, but it is pretty cold out so why don't you have some Augustana sweatshirts! They're navy blue!"

The band started passing out sweatshirts and the lead singer gave Semira an autograph.

Chapter Four (In Which Cupcakes are Thrown)

Augustana left the clearing singing Boston and waving like loons.

Paolo, Sofa, Semira, Amba', and Macaroni slipped on there Augustana sweatshirts and skipped of to find Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince. As they skipped, they sung the theme song to Herald and Maude, everyone's all-time favorite movie.

Sadly, alone and sad in the deep dark woods, Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince heard the theme song. And ran.

The Gangster Police had changed him.

Paolo led the way through the trees (he had a large weed-whacker). Of course, Amba's hair kept getting tangled in the branches, so the team had to stop often to get her out.

When they finally came out of the woods he was nowhere in sight.

"This is rather depressing. Let me write a song," Paolo said, stopping the group.

After ten minutes he still wasn't done.

"Would you hurry up? We need to find Peter!" Semira shouted.

"Relax, music takes time. ‘Jenny don't be Hasty’ wasn't written in ten minutes, ya' know!" Paolo said, highly annoyed, because Semira was highly annoying.

Not as annoying as Amba' the Insane, who was running in circles yelling "WHERE ARE YOU PEEEEEEEEE-TUUUUUR?!" But annoying.

After three more hours of sitting around (or, in Amba's case, running and screaming around in circles) Paolo had finished the song.

"It took you three hours to write that piece of crap?!" Semira shrieked. "We could have been looking for Peter!"

"I like it," Sofa Muffin beamed.

"Well I had to rush, but I agree it did turn out pretty ‘Crap’ as you say." Paolo said, highly pleased.

"Crap means bad, cruddy, poopy, icky, horribly, cruddy," Macaroni said, putting on his 'you are so stupid' look.

"So it doesn't mean 'cool' and 'hip'? Your Calculoso slang is so confusing. I much prefer Scottish slang," Paolo said, confused.

"No," Sofa said dryly. “But I thought it was okay. With a little improvement it could be as good as a Red Hot Chili Peppers’ hit!" Sofa Muffin continued putting on an obviously fake smile.

"That bad, huh?" Paolo said looking depressed.

Everyone nodded, except for Macaroni who yelled "YES!" with a bit too much enthusiasm.

"Well, this sucks," Paolo said sadly.

"It does," said Macaroni harshly

"Let's stop being negative about Paolo and look for Peter instead," Sofa Muffin said, smiling.

"Alright, sounds like a good plan to me!" Semira laughed.

The group walked on, heading for the mountains where the Gangsta' Police's Boot Camp was located and hopefully where they would find Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince.

As they made their way up the mountain they ran into a group of kids camping.

Sofa muffin being the friendly, nice, and awesome person she was decided to strike up a conversation with them.

"Hi! Do you RECYCLE?!" Sofa Muffin asked the kids sweetly.

"Um..."

"I SAID: YOU LOOK FAT! SO FAT IN THOSE JEANS WITH YOUR CUCUMBER NOSE AND FAT THIGHS!!" Macaroni started to shout at Amba'.

"Well at least my head isn't as big as an elephant!" Amba' screamed back.

Sofa Muffin just hid her head in her hands and looked embarrassed.

"HEY, MUFFIN! YOU THINK YOUR FEET ARE BIG ENOUGH?! I'M GOING TO TRIP OVER THEM ONE DAY!" Semira shouted at Sofa Muffin, giving her no choice but to join in.

"OH, YEAH? YOUR HEAD'S SO BIG YOU COULD PUT FOUR WHEELS ON IT AND DRIVE IT DOWN A HIGHWAY LEGALLY!" Sofa shouted back.

The kids just stared on, shocked.

Off in the forest Peter McFlirtyShorts heard the insults and was attracted by the violence.

"It's time for our newest recruit to show his true colors," the head of the gang said.

"You must prove your Gangsta’ Skillz by participating in a common gangsta’ activity, a ride by," continued the Gangsta’ Police.

"What does that mean?" Peter asked innocently. The gang members stared at him threateningly.

"It's when you ride by the little twerps and throw stuff at them, of course!"

"Oh. What do I throw?"

And so the details of the ride by were discussed and Peter the Fairy Prince prepared for his ultimate test yet.

“Recycle!” Yelled Amba’.

"Save the Planet!" Yelled Semira. Macaroni just screeched.

Just then, the sound of hooves reached their ears.

"Watch out! It's a gangster!" Yelled Paolo

Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince rode by, throwing cupcakes and singing loud crude rap.

"Peter!" Screamed Sofa Muffin.

He aimed a cupcake for Semira's hair. At the last second it swerved and hit Paolo. Semira just got a spray of chocolate sprinkles in her face.

The rain of cupcakes flying from Peter's direction all flew into Paolo's face. He shrieked and dove back into the tree cover. The cupcakes followed.

Soon he was covered in cake and pink frosting. Sprinkles clung to his head.

"Oh my gosh, you're a cupcake magnet, Paolo!" Screamed Semira.

"PETER!" Amba' screamed, chasing after him. "COME BACK! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!"

Peter didn't turn around.

Instead he rode up the mountainside and of into the distance, his gangsta’ pants almost falling off as he rode.

"MY EYES!" Amba' screamed in pain at the sight of Peter's falling-down pants. "And to think that he used to wear shorts in all weather. This is disgusting. It has to be stopped."

The Kids camped on the side of the mountain sat there laughing hysterically.

"You know that freak?" One of the kids yelled, laughing

"Unfortunately, yes," replied Macaroni.

"Get him!" Another yelled.

But the kid yelling "get him" wasn't talking about Peter. He was talking about Semira as she ran after Peter. Amba' started to chase Semira.

Well, that's what Semira thought, but as usual she was wrong. The kid wanted Amba’ to get Peter. Amba’ and Semira ran over there hill after Peter. Sofa Muffin and Macaroni tried to follow, but soon realized that Paolo was in no fit shape to run. They stopped and helped Paolo wipe frosting and cupcakes off his face.

"Why are all of you so fit?" Paolo asked.

"We walk to school. And we've been hiking in the woods for a long while," Amba' pointed out.

"Plus we have pose-offs," Macaroni added

"Pose-offs really help build muscle," Sofa Muffin said.

"Yeah! Let's have one right now!" Semira suggested.

"Shouldn't we look for --" Amba' started.

"NO!" Paolo cut her off. "I need to be fit!"

Macaroni turned to Paolo. "Alright, let's start with the Fluttering Bumble Bee with Wings of Soft Gossamer and Bubbles." It was a challenge.

"Um, ok..." Paolo did his best impression of the pose Macaroni was pulling off perfectly. He didn't compare.

"Macaroni wins!" Semira cheered happily.

"NO!" Sofa Muffin shouted. "Paolo does!" Paolo smiled happily.

"I vote Macaroni" Amba' yelled. Sofa Muffin was outnumbered and Paolo lost that round.

"Next round!" Shouted Sofa Muffin.

"Famous Scottish Music Star with a Dashing Smile and Beautiful Hair like a Male Model’s!" Paolo screamed posing like a superstar. Macaroni tried and tried, but he could not compete with Paolo.

"Paolo wins!" Yelled Semira.

It was time for the next round in the five-round pose-off.

"Hmmm, which next?" Semira thought. "Let's have you two try The Big Blue Whale That Swam into a Freight Train in the Middle of the Desert in Montana!"

Macaroni pulled the pose off expertly, leaving Paolo in the dust.

"I'll get the next round" shouted Paolo.

"Okay, the score is Paolo one, Macaroni two," Sofa Muffin said.

"Alright, it’s time for an extra hard pose!" Shouted Amba'.

"An Orange Cuttle Fish on Vacation in Alaska singing a Reliant K Song while doing Let's Go Down to the Disco Dancing!" Screamed Amba', Sofa Muffin, and Semira in unison.

Macaroni expertly disco danced while wiggling his fingers above his upper lip to imitate a cuttle fish. Periodically, Macaroni would shout "MOOSE!" and take a pretend photo to represent is tourism and grabbed the orange leaves of a near by tree and threw them in the Air. Paolo's plan fizzled.

"GO MACARONI! GOOOO!" Semira shouted, breaking Paolo's concentration.

"Is that fair?" He asked impatiently.

"Um, yes, I think so..." Sofa Muffin whimpered.

Macaroni had won. Even though there was one more round left Paolo was so far behind that he had no chance of winning and becoming Pose-off King.

"Just think of it this way, Paolo, you'll be super fit and even more good-looking than you were before!" Sofa Muffin smiled.

"Well isn't that true?! I was pretty darn hot before -- now I must look drop-dead gorgeous!" Paolo said, flexing his new fit arms.

"You sure do," Amba' drooled, nearly fainting.

"Not as fit as me, plus I have ice cream cone hair!" Macaroni bragged posing and tossing his hair.

"You could never compete with Paolo," Semira and Sofa said together staring at Paolo's new-found fitness.

"Wait! WHAT WAS THAT SOUND?!" Semira tore her eyes away from Paolo when she heard what sounded like a bike being pedaled up the hill.

"PETER!" They all shouted in unison. The pedaling noise stopped.

They all started running up the hill after Peter. Before they knew it they were in the midst of the Gangsta’ Boot Camp.

"Oh my gosh!" Screamed Sofa Muffin.

"Too many fall-off-your-butt pants!" Shrieked Amba', covering her face.

"Look, there goes Peter!" Macaroni said, pointing after a figure running through the camp.

"I'll catch him with my new found FITNESS!" Paolo said enthusiastically charging after Peter.

Before he could go far, a Gangsta’ In Training stepped in front of the group.

"You must be newcomers. I have been here a week. My name is Tuspabo, or T-Dog."

"That is the dumbest name I have ever heard," Semira whispered to Macaroni.

"What was that?!" Tuspabo yelled at Semira, trying to look threatening.

"Err, nothing? Please don't hurt me!" Semira whimpered

"Sorry, I'm just trying to act more Gangsta’." Tuspabo said quietly

"On the subject of acting more Gangsta’," Semira replied, "do you know a boy here named Peter?"

"Peter?! You mean Peter Thuh Thug? Leader of the infamous in-gang-gang the Tip-Toes? They're really sneaky, them Tip-Toes." Tuspabo looked scared just hearing Peter's name.

"Um, sure."

"Would you mind telling us where he is?" Sofa the Muffin said.

"He's over there," Tuspabo said, pointing at a purple tent twenty yards away. Tuspabo then promptly turned around and ran away.

"I don't know Peter, but so far he sounds like a bully. First the cupcakes and now this! I mean, I still have frosting in my perfect locks," Paolo said, motioning after Tuspabo.

"Don't worry. He's a wimp," Macaroni said sharply.

Amber started over to the purple tent and the others followed. Semira ripped the tent door open. Peter McFlirtyShorts was sitting on the floor looking at an old photo album. The page he was turned to had pictures of him and Jimmy the Piff when Jimmy was just a baby opossum.

"Peter!" Screamed Semira. "What do you think you're doing?"

Peter jumped up and smacked Semira across the cheek saying, "What you talkin' about, Woman?!"

"Don't slap me!" Semira shouted, hitting him back.

"Ow! That really hurt." Peter looked away dejectedly.

"That'll teach you to throw cupcakes at us and run away!" Sofa Muffin said.

"I didn't run away!” Peter defended himself. "I was captured.”

"Yeah, well, you've got some great escaping skills, Peter." Semira looked away.

"I know," Peter said, smiling.

Paolo and Macaroni glared at Peter meanly.

"Now come on, my princess, and we will ride into the sunset!" Shouted Peter McFlirtyShorts the Fairy Prince, grabbing Semira and pulling her towards his steed.

"Why would I ride into the sunset with you?" Semira asked annoyed

"So we can become top tier gangsters together. Duh," Peter said, acting as if it was obvious.

"You are so incredibly weird," Semira said angrily, pulling away from Peter.

"What? I am not!" He shouted.

"Er... I have to agree with the girl here," Paolo added.

"YOU'VE TURNED AGAINST ME! HOW CAN I LIVE ON?!" Peter shrieked, pulling a Swiss army knife from his pocket.

"Peter, that knife isn't real." Macaroni pointed to the plastic blade.

"DANG IT!" The Prince said, throwing the knife to the ground.

"He's become SUICIDAL!" Wailed Amba', throwing herself to the ground in a fit of sobs.

"No I haven't, I was really getting out the knife so I could cut these dang gangster pants into shorts -- they're driving me crazy," Peter laughed, reaching into his pocket for his real knife.

"You're all crazy," mumbled Macaroni.

"Are we going to leave, or are we just going to stand here?" asked Sofa Muffin.

"I agree with Sofa, we should really go. I think I'll vomit if I see another gangster in saggy-butt pants,” said Paolo, wincing as a boy walked by holding up his pants and rapping.

"At least his pants aren't tight and leave the shape of his legs to imagination," Semira said, eyeing Paolo.

"What?" He asked, clueless.

Once Peter had successfully cut his pants into shorts, used Paolo's belt to hold them up (Paolo didn't need it, his pants were so tight he couldn't really bend his knees), they set off into the sunset.

"WAIT UP!" A small voice cried out.

"Jimmy the Piff! I've missed you so much!" Peter sobbed with happiness.

"To truly be my friend again, you must leave your gangster ways behind" said Jimmy the Piff

"Ermm..." mumbled Peter, looking puzzled

"I agree with Jimmy the Piff," said Semira, Amba', Macaroni, Sofa the Muffin, and Paolo in unison. Except Paolo said it with a super cute Scottish accent.

"Is this some sort of conspiracy?" Peter asked.

"No, it's the moral of the story, stupid," Semira snapped. "You have to listen to us or whoever reads this crap thing will buy pants that don't fit and get into a gang. And no one wants that."

"Oh... well, I suppose that you're right. Hmmm..." The Prince began to pace.

After a few moments he smiled mischievously and looked at Semira.

"I'll only give up my gangster ways if you'll go Unicorn-Pegasus riding with me, Semira."

Sofa Muffin giggled foolishly.

"HECK NO!" Semira shouted.

"Semira! You've got to! OR WE'LL HAVE AN EPIDEMIC OF FALL-OFF-YOUR-BUTT PANTS!" Amba' screamed.

"NOOOO!" screeched Paolo. (He really hated fall of your butt pants)

"See, Semira? We're destined to be together!" Peter said joyfully.

"Semira and Peter sitting in a tree, eating bagels, tee-he-he!" Macaroni sang with glee (actually, he looked rather mad).

"We are NOT ‘meant to be’ and you will leave your gangster ways behind whether I go Unicorn-Pegasus riding or not!" Semira said adamantly.

“Paolo, don't you know any Scottish girls Peter could go Unicorn-Pegasus riding with?" Sofa the Muffin asked.

"Well, actually I do," Paolo said with a smile.

The End