Well hello there I’m sure you all know me

I go by the name of Pope Eugene number three

Well as you know Edessa had fallen

And everybody in Europe started holler in

So I called up the boys and got some European kings

Namely Louis VII of France and Conrad III of Germany

They said “what are you doing pope, what do you got planned”

I said how about this one

Second crusades to take back the holy land!

The only success came outside of the Mediterranean,

Where Flemish, Frisian, Norman, English, Scottish, and some German crusaders,

On the way by ship to the Holy Land,

Fortuitously stopped and helped capture Lisbon!

Well we were taking care of business bit by bit

Started bringing out the war ships

So we started some slogans to help fuel our mission

So don’t be stupid-be a Christian!

We’re all dancing and moving to the sounds of the beat

I like to call the dance Pope Eugene crazy feet

If Hitler was around

He would be proud

Because soon there will be no Jews to be found

Or so we thought

A lesson we hope the Jews would be taught

Later we also helped to conquer Sintra,

Almada, Palmela and Setúbal

Everything was going according to plan

We were starting to take back the holy land

Hell I was starting to get a tan

Well its time to time to take it back

Pope Eugene will surely attack

Anyone in our way!

The holy land we need

You know it’s our destiny

If only we knew how to read

Well the game was being played out right

Europe started to the win fight

But the journey to Jerusalem would sure be tough

But I’ll tell you man I hadn’t had enough

I wanted more

So I kicked the door

All you crusade states call me lord

You’re all going to pay for your sins

You just call me Barton

Well everything was coming together

We would be all top forever

But than something happen that brought the blues

Siege of Damascus was happening soon

Damascus had sought help from Saif ad-Din Ghazi I of Aleppo and Nur ad-Din of Mosul, and the vizier, Mu'in ad-Din

Nur ad-Din had by now arrived and it was impossible to return to their better position

We all started to retreat

They were beating us like they beat their meat

Which is pretty fast

We took it up the ass

They burned us up like we were trash

All sides felt betrayed by the others

My wife left me for my brother

The crusade in the east was a failure

For the crusaders

And a great victory for the Muslims

Soon came the fall of Jerusalem

Well the Muslims were killing everyone

I decided I should go since I’m number one

But never fear because we’ll be back someday

Better watch out for the third crusade!

Well its time to time to take it back

Pope Eugene will surely attack

Anyone in our way!

The holy land we need

You know it’s our destiny

If only we knew how to read