Flesh & Blood

I gazed into the full-length mirror in disbelief. Studying myself with confusion, I tried to sort out the day’s events in my mind. When I had come home from my friend Lilah’s house there was some guy sitting on my sofa. My father told me that this was my brother. My brother? No one had ever told me I had a brother. Before I knew what I was doing, tears started flowing and I locked myself in the bathroom. Now here I was, staring at myself and trying to see how in the hell that guy out there could be my brother.

My hair was pulled into a tight ponytail and I shakily removed my hair band, dark brown waves cascading to my shoulders. My eyes were ferociously burning blue at the moment, although they were usually anywhere from sea foam green to a baby blue, all depending on what I was wearing. My skin was naturally light, with tinges of pink appearing in my cheeks and freckles spotting a large portion of my body. There was no way. I looked nothing like him! He couldn’t be my brother. It just wasn’t possible. And why would they have hidden it from me for so long?

There was a knock on the bathroom door. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone. My throat felt like it was going to close on me. Oh god, my throat was going to close and I wouldn’t be able to breathe or speak, and I would die. I knew I was hyperventilating, but I couldn’t rationalize anything at the moment.

“Natalie, please. Come out so I can explain this to you.” My father was saying in his encouraging voice.

I sighed, unlocking the door and opening it slightly. My father’s familiar blue eyes met mine, and he pushed the door the rest of the way open so that he could see my face. He wiped the tears away from my eyes and kissed my forehead before speaking.

“Your mother chose not to tell you. Since he’s not my own flesh and blood, I didn’t find it was my place to say anything. I know how you must feel, but things are the way they are. Listen, honey. Your mother was with someone before me. After she got pregnant and had the child, your half brother, she left. She left that man their child, and came to be with me. About a year later, she was pregnant again, this time with you. I tried to convince her to tell you when you got old enough but she refused. She said you could never know. But now that she’s gone and Darien’s shown up on his own, she doesn’t have a choice. You deserve to know the truth.”

I bit back more tears at his explanation. Mom had left us a few years ago, when I was thirteen years old. I was now on the brink of turning seventeen, and I missed her every day. Yes, I had been angry with her before, but now? Now, knowing she kept this from me, I was in shock. How could I have lived my whole life unaware that I had a brother? It shouldn’t have even been her choice! Now I was glad she was gone, because if she were here I would strangle her until all the oxygen left her lungs and she lay writhing on the ground, dying. That bitch. She’d left my father for yet another man a few years ago. Would she have another child with this man and do the same thing to him or her? Did I have another brother or sister somewhere that didn’t know about me? I couldn’t even stand thinking of it.

“I’m sorry,” My father whispered, gently putting his arms around me and smoothing back my hair like he used to do when I was younger. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I was going to tell you, on your seventeenth birthday. I didn’t want you getting hurt. But now you are, and it’s all my fault. I should have told you sooner so that it didn’t happen this way. But I had no idea he would come looking for you.”

I looked into his eyes, wiping away the tears I didn’t remember shedding from my cheeks.

“I don’t blame you. It’s all her fault,” I kissed his cheek, and then ended our embrace. “I want to talk to Darien alone.” I told him. He nodded in understanding, going downstairs into his office. I splashed some water on my face and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to look halfway decent before speaking with my new-found brother. I had no idea what I was going to say or how I was going to act. This whole situation was entirely weird.

I anxiously stepped out of the bathroom, making my way down the hall and into the living room. Darien was staring absently at the painting on the wall, a reproduction of a Matisse painting entitled “Beasts of the Sea.” He heard me enter the room and narrowed his chestnut eyes. I looked him over. Everything about him was different than me. His hair was darker, a jet black color. His eyes were a very dark brown, a big contrast to my blue green ones. His skin was also dark. He had chocolate brown skin that made my milky white skin look even paler than usual as I took a seat next to him on the worn out sofa. Our builds, however, were quite similar. We both had broad shoulders and slender builds, tall and athletic bodies. His hair was also slightly curly, like my own. I smiled unsurely at him.

“So, you’re really my brother.” I said lamely, regretting speaking as soon as I did so.
“Yeah. Half, but yeah.” He said in reply, studying me closely.

“We look really…” I trailed off, not wanting to be rude.

“Different? Yeah, tell me about it,” He chuckled. “There’s a reason. Your dad and your mom both have brown hair and blue eyes. My dad is black, so he has black hair, brown eyes, and dark skin. I got his genes because they are dominant, and mom’s are recessive. It’s biology.” He explained seriously. I knew what he was talking about - I’d learned it in sophomore biology. I aced that class. I was pretty into science.

“Punnett squares and all that?” I mumbled, pushing a strand of hair out of my face and looking at him.

“Yeah. Hey, you’re pretty smart. I shouldn’t be surprised though. You are my sister, after all.” He smiled. Wow, his teeth were so white. I grinned back at him, beginning to feel a lot more comfortable.

“Thanks. So, you’re eighteen?” I asked him curiously.

“Almost nineteen,” He licked his lips. “I found out about you a year ago when my dad was dying. He told me that when mom left him, she married someone else and had a daughter. He said maybe I should try to find you. After he died, I wrestled with coming to see you for awhile. I really want to be close to the family I have left. And my family is pretty much you.” I listened to him intently, relaxing a bit more. “I take it from your freak out that you had no clue I existed. I’m sorry to just pop out of nowhere like this. I know it must be kind of crazy.”

“Kind of, but I’m glad you came. Having a brother I never knew about will take awhile for me to adjust to, but I am really glad you came.” I thought for a moment. “I’ve never had siblings. I’m an only child. Well, I was. Thought I was. Whatever. Guess not, though. It feels nice to know I’m not the only one.”

“I know what you mean. It’s great to have some sort of tie to mom, since I never got to know her. Maybe you could tell me a little about her,” He gazed at me thoughtfully. “So, do you want to go out for lunch? On me.” He offered, standing up from his spot on the sofa. I nodded eagerly.

“I just have to let my dad know where I’ll be.” I ran downstairs and told my dad we were going to have lunch. He told me that it was a good idea for the two of us to get to know each other, and said he was proud of me. I didn’t mind leaving him there because his lunch break was almost over anyway. He’d be returning to work soon. He was a big corporate head honcho. Very important.

I came back upstairs and Darien and I left the house in his black Mazda Miata MX-5. What can I say, I was a big automobile enthusiast. Actually, no, I wasn’t. I had to ask Darien what kind of car he had. All I knew was, it was nice.

On the way to the restaurant, we spoke nonstop.

“So what has your life been like?” I questioned, genuinely interested. I knew it was a big question, but I wasn’t sure where to start. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his thick black hair before beginning.

“Well, I don’t remember much about mom, and I haven’t seen her since I was small. I guess I never really met her. Dad hasn’t told me much about her, either. Dad raised me. He did an okay job, but he wasn’t around a lot. He had to work his a--” He paused, obviously not wanting to swear in front of me. “--tail off to afford rent in our apartment. The woman next door babysat me a lot. Miranda. She was a real nice lady. I got picked on a lot in school since I’m half black. I don’t really fit in anywhere. Dad got cancer when I was fifteen and then he died a couple years later. I had to leave the apartment, and get a job. Now I’m working this crummy office job to pay rent. That’s how all this came about, actually. I was transferred here to Boston and now I work in your dad’s office. As soon as I met him, I realized who he was. I recognized his name and all from dad’s stories. I told him everything and now here we are. He thought you should know. I guess he probably should have braced you for it before I came barging in your house like that. Well, enough about me. What of your life, kiddo?” He asked me, looking over at me for a second before returning his gaze to the road.

“I feel guilty that I got so much time with mom when you didn’t get any. She left when I was thirteen and Dad was pretty devastated. I guess I was too, but I was mostly angry. I had a pretty average childhood, I don’t know. Not fabulous or anything, but not as bad as…” I didn’t really want to seem rude, so I cut myself off.

“Mine?” Darien laughed. “Tell me about it. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. So, do you like Italian?” He pulled into the Dolce Vita parking lot with a grin. I loved Italian, actually. It was my favorite. If Dad ever cooked for me it was Italian food. It was about the only thing he was decent at cooking.

Darien and I headed inside, the heavy wind almost blowing us away before we made it to the door. There wasn’t much of a wait, because Darien had cleverly placed reservations earlier on in the day. Moments after we got seated a waiter came to take our drink order, and then Darien and I were staring silently at the menu. Not much later the waiter reappeared with our drinks and a basket of garlic bread. I ordered chicken tortellini, while Darien special ordered a vegetable pizza. As the waiter left us, I laughed at Darien’s food choice. I really wasn’t much for vegetables, and I couldn’t believe he ordered something without meat in it.

“Pizza? When you have these great dishes on the menu, that’s what you order?” I teased.

“Hey. They have good pizza.” He replied, smiling widely at me.

“So, what stuff do you like?” I began awkwardly, desperately wanting to get to know him better, to see how much alike we really were.

“Stuff? If you were more specific, I think my head might explode. I like all kinds of stuff.” Darien answered earnestly.

“TV, movies, music, all that.” I expanded, feeling my cheeks burn slightly. I was great at making a fool of myself.

“I don’t watch much television. I don’t have cable. I like to watch whatever’s on. I don’t care. I don’t go to a lot of movies but I’m big into comedies. And dramas. I admit it. Most guys can’t, but I do. I enjoy a good drama. Oh, and porn. I LOVE porn,” He winked, and I couldn’t tell if he was joking. “And as for music, I’m all about the rock. Old rock, new rock, love it all. I’m kind of a big fan of mid-80s stuff though. Billy Idol, David Lee Roth, INXS. The new stuff is pretty good too. I listen to soft rock, hard rock, classic rock, metal, whatever. I love music.” He told me animatedly.

“What about rap?” I found myself asking, and mentally slapped myself. I took a drink of my sweet tea so I wouldn’t say anything else stupid. Darien took a bite of garlic bread before answering me.

“Just because I’m half black doesn’t mean I like rap.” He chuckled lightly. “Old rap is okay, nothing later than the 90s though. I HATE country with a passion, and pop is okay too, depending. What about you?”

“I still watch a lot of cartoons. I like supernatural shows. Stuff about witches, vampires, demons. In movies I like everything. I love Spiderman, but that’s because I’m a big geek. Action movies get me going.” I found myself blushing, as what I had said almost sounded perverted. “Not like that. Um, I’m big into music. Alternative anything is good. My CD collection is pretty eccentric and extensive. Outrageously large. I’ve spent so much money on music. I listen to dad’s old records and CDs a lot too.” Oh god, I had such a gift for babbling. Why was I making such a fool of myself? I was just excited, but I needed to stop it. I had to stop before he started thinking I was an idiot and just up and left me there.

“Do you like animals?” He asked me suddenly. My eyes widened as I nodded. I loved animals. Adored them.

“Yes! Dad won’t let me get a kitten.” I muttered under my breath indifferently. I’d been trying to convince him to let me have one for over two years, and he still hadn’t given in.

“I have a kitten. Actually, two kittens, a mommy cat, and a small dog. Some fish, too.” He added, his eyes bright with excitement.

“Aw, how sweet. Can I meet them sometime?” I begged, sticking out my lip and acting all of five years old. Darien laughed.

“Of course. Actually, I took the day off to spend with you, so we can chill at my apartment after lunch. That sound good?” He couldn’t have said anything more amazing. I smiled happily at him. I was so glad all of this was going so well. I didn’t feel weird at all.

“It sounds fantastic!” I exclaimed, trying to contain my excitement. I wasn’t doing a very good job of it, either. I couldn’t hide the smile that was tugging at my lips.

Right then, our food arrived. As soon as we began eating, things got quiet. I twirled my noodles around my fork, taking a bite of my chicken tortellini. Darien was sitting across from me, messily eating a slice of his vegetable pizza. Who eats vegetable pizza? I smirked.

“What?” He asked suspiciously, noticing my smirk.

“Oh, nothing.” I laughed. “Where’s the pepperoni?”
“I’m a vegetarian.” He announced, grinning so that his dimples were showing. Aw, he was a vegetarian. How sweet.

“Oh.” I quieted, solemnly looking down at my chicken. “I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure if I was apologizing to him or the chicken I was eating, but I suddenly felt really guilty. I usually tried not to think about it much. It made me feel bad, but I liked meat. I couldn’t help it.

“Hey, it’s cool. You just have to promise to try a veggie burger sometime.” He told me seriously, then gave me a wink. I modestly shrugged my shoulders. I probably wouldn’t like veggie burgers. Just the thought of them made my stomach churn.

We both remained quiet until we finished, gobbling up our food and draining our drinks before we paid the bill. The two of us stepped back outside, where it had started to rain profusely. We stood at the door as the rain pounded down, slapping the pavement in giant, painful sounding drops. I grimaced.

“Want me to grab the car and come get you?” Darien offered. It was nice of him to ask, but I wouldn’t make him do that for me. I shook my head, gazing out into the rain.

“Let’s go for it!” I said instead, rushing into the swirling rain just as a clap of thunder boomed, and I jumped about five feet into the air. Darien followed me, laughing hysterically as we rushed to the car. By the time we got inside, we were completely soaked. A flash of lightning came across the sky.

“We’d better get to the apartment. Milo’s probably freaking out.” I looked at him questioningly. “One of my kittens. He’s terrified of storms.”