I don't even know all that I hide

Or all that I am running from

I don't understand why endings

Hurt so badly

Because every end offers a new beginning

And I guess that is the reason that it's okay

That I've hit the bottom a g a i n

Because the bottom of the grave,

Is the beginning of a fight

To get back to where I was

And who cares if my heart was tainted in sin

From dwelling within the dirt

Of a grave in the ground

My life is below

Rock bottom

My hair flatted with heat

And stomach flatted with starvation

Of a fast

-or at least that's what I had said-

But the lies are catching up…

I don't even know why I fear

Or why I am afraid of

All of the ones that I love…

Because they never beat me

Or hurt me…

At least not that badly.

I don't even know why I care

About other opinions.

Or if I live or die

I don't even understand

M y s e l f

I don't know where to go anymore

Or how far I've run

I just know that I

Had to get away

From the mistakes

Sin

And fear

I needed to forget

And forgive

Myself

But even I don't know if I am ready for that

I didn't study for this test

Which I will admit

-is a first-

But luckily it's open book

With God's Word

Because without it

And his strength

And guidance

I'd surely fail

I don't even know any answers

To any of the questions

All I know is that I am running

Climbing

And getting closer to the surface

I am being raised from the grave

And born again

As long as I don't let the earth decay me first…

I should live

And love

Even though I don't understand

Why I am here.