7 - Eleven

Who I see in the mirror is not me. It’s not me at all. The smudged black eyeliner and the fancy hair up-do aren’t me. I don’t know this person.

How did I get here though? I mean I know the basics. I left. I drove. I parked. I got out of the car. I left all I ever knew at that party. I left my safety, my security blanket that kept me out of harm. I traded all I had come to love and adore, for an empty reflection in the window at a random 7-Eleven.

I didn’t look horrible. I’ll give myself that much. I actually looked like what boys would call “Hot!” mini skirt and all.

I closed my eyes. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t planned at all. I was supposed to have a fun time tonight. Tonight I wasn’t supposed to decide that I want to throw out everything I had ever worked for in my social circle.

Pushing the door open, I walked up to the man manning the counter, his orange smock clashing with his bluish shirt. I politely asked him where the bathroom was.

I can tell he analyzed me before he told me. He was giving me another label another thing to live my life by. Because that’s just what I need at the moment, more labels. All I really want is a bathroom, so I can take a piss and get this makeup off my face.

But I patiently waited till he was finished. He pointed to the far right corner of the small room and I thanked him, like I had been brought up to do.

The bathroom wasn’t the cleanest place I had ever been in, but I couldn’t give a shit at the moment. I turned on the sink and placed a paper towel under it, watching the water slowly eat up the paper till it was completely soaked. I took the soaked towel and whipped my face; I scrubbed and scrubbed till I was sure there was no possible way that there could be any more makeup on my face. Looking down at the paper towel, I could see pink spots and black streaks. The mirror was hazy and cracked but I didn’t care. My face looked just fine, despite the paleness due to the loss of bronzer. My blue eyes portrayed a gray cloud of tears, just waiting to slow at any moment.

Leaning against the wall, I closed my eyes and waited for them to fall. They never came but when I took another glance in the mirror, the sadness, the despair still remained, unmoved and untouched.

I slipped off my black heels and held them in my hand. Opening the door I stepped out, not knowing if I was ready to face the world with my newfound bareness. So it wasn’t miraculous, but a girl can’t do everything in one day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wear one of my old band tee shirts.

But all I could focus on was that I was bare. My identity had been stripped from me. Everything I thought I had stood for seemed so childish and stupid. I wanted out. And that’s exactly what I did. I got out.

I walked over to the Icee machine and poured me a Coke flavored one. When I sipped it the sugary liquid slipped down my throat and it felt so good. I hadn’t had one of these in forever. Not since before I joined the group.

I walked up to the counter where the same old man from before was sitting on his stool, waiting to ring me up. He took my fifty five cents in his old wrinkly hand as I waited for a receipt I was likely to throw away he said, “I like this new look for you. I can see you now.”

And I think I’ll always remember that. Revelations in 7-Eleven might be all I need to get over my insecurities. And a Coke Icee might be all I need to challenge myself to be me.

Disclamer: I do not own 7-Eleven or Coke or Icee

Hey this is Brie, and I really would like it if people who read this comment, even if you tell me you hated it or loved it or whatever, I don't really care but I like to have (positive or negative) feedback!!! A lot of my oneshots are short and it doesn't take very long to read or review... plus I'd really appreciate it!! Thanks so much for reading anyway though! --- Brie