After all the heartbreak and drama I’ve endured, I made a vow not to fall in love at this tender young age that I’m in.

I also promised myself to save my feelings for someone older and wiser than me.

Why, then, do I find myself falling for you?

You, younger and full of childish laughter and vitality, yet more mature and composed than boys four years older.

You, with your smile that makes me forget all the hurt that I’ve been through.

You…

No! I can’t love you! I made a promise! I’ll violate my standards if I do!

Please. Don’t make me break my vow…

I just can’t love you…

Don’t make me fall in love with the way you hold me.

Don’t whisper in my ear, especially things that will make me swoon.

Don’t play with my hands… or my hair… because when you do, I don’t want you to stop.

I shiver when you run your hand down my arm.

My face heats up when I feel your head against my neck.

When you hold me in your arms, I never want to leave.

Please… don’t put me through this.

If you do, then I won’t be able to live without you.

When I tell you about all of my heartbreaks and relationships that didn’t work out, please don’t say that you’re a different story.

Please don’t hold me close.

Don’t tell me that you’ll give me time to think about it, because all I’ll think of is “yes”.

But, most of all…

Please don’t make me want to say “I love you”.

Because only bad has come out of me saying those words.

And the boys to whom I have told this…

They were all hurt in the end.

And I…

I…

I… LOVE YOU so much, that I don’t want to cause you pain.

I don’t want to hurt you.