|“The Unique Princess”
Author: The Latest Plague PM
A... unique princess on a quest to find beauty. A short really short, not at all realistic tale. It makes fun of fairytales.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Words: 701 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 07-08-07 - Status: Complete - id: 2387823
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"The Unique Princess"
(camera runs slowly through a nice tranquil scene of trees and a peaceful village)
Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a beautiful… (the whole tranquil scene freezes) Okay, maybe that's not the right word, (narrator mutters to self) and ugly would get my head chopped off-- Aha! Unique! Yes, unique fits in just right. Okay, so lets rewind and start this over.
(everything goes backwards)
…lufituaeb a devil ereth emit a nopu ecnO
Once upon a time, there lived a unique cough, cough little princess…
Princess: Father! Why can't I go play with the other noble children? Why must I be in this room?
King: (not sure what to say) Well, honey, your not like the other kids.
Princess: (confused) How?
King: Well, your unique. They would never understand how truly wonderful you are! (King looks triumphant at his response)
Princess: (sadly) Why wouldn't they understand? Why can't I be unique with them?
King: (cornered) Well… uh.. (laughs nervously)
As the Princess grew older she understood what "unique" truly meant. It depressed her because she was to be married to a dashing and handsome prince. Who could ever learn to love someone who was ugly, especially when they themselves were beautiful?
A week before she was to meet her betrothed (who hadn't yet seen her, the King made sure of it, lest the engagement would be broken) she ran away (leaving a note for her father telling her why she ran away) to find an elixir that a long gone witch made decades ago that her grandmother told her about when she was little. It was an elixir of beauty. She'd always dreamt about finding it. Now she was on her way to get it. She wanted her husband-to-be to love her, and she surely wouldn't if he saw her in her ugly form.
It was said to be on the highest mountain in Althesir (her fathers ruling kingdom), buried next to the tree by the house the witch lived in.
So off she went and when she'd arrived at the house she got a… rather large scare.
Woman: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOIN' ON ME PROPERTY??
Princess: (cowering) I thought the wi--oman that lived here was dead!
Woman: Nonsense, I been alive 'n livin' here fer years.
Princess: Would you know anything about an elixir?
Woman: (suspiciously) Who be askin'?
Princess: Well, obviously me! A witch used to live here. She made an elixir of beauty. I want to find it.
Woman: A witch neve' used to live here. She still does. (points to herself) You'd be wanting it? (The Princess nods her head.) Hm. Normally I'd be turnin' the people who ask fer it into animals, last one was a Giraffe. (Looks Princess up and down) But, you're a special case o' ugly. Come with me.
The princess went into the witches house, watching as she went into another room, coming out with a red vile.
Witch: This'd be me elixir. Drink it all for eternal beauty, drink a sip for temp'rary beauty.
Princess: Oh! Thank you! (makes a grab for it, but witch stops her)
Witch: Not so fast. I'll be needin' a payment for this!
Princess: I am the Princess of Althesir, I promise with all my heart, you shall be paid back for this deed.
Witch: Alright. (She hands Princess the elixir) Are you sure you--
(Princess chugs the liquid down without a second thought.)
When the princess arrived back at home her worried father took one good look at her and couldn't believe his eyes. There was his daughter, a true beauty in front of him. Her betrothed had arrived the day before, and when he saw her fell immediately in love. They married a month later, and lived happily ever after.